Venting to the void:
Spiralling out over how fucked up my life is right now, feeling like a failure for not knowing how to fix things, and like a coward for not making big scary decisions that could change things.

Can't keep going like this, and I don't have a clue what to do in the short term

I need to figure out which of my friends and acquaintances has a dropout.tv subscription in the hopes a kind soul will share with me so I can watch today's episode of Game Changer. From the shorts it looks like it's one hell of an episode

Well that's just great.

That "agree to disagree" approach with the anti-vax hippies sure worked out well. /s

I'm afraid a lot of people are going to learn about the importance of vaccination the hard way 😕

I've been feeling tired and weighed down and just... numb lately.
Tonight the tears started flowing. Last week marked 5 years since COVID-19 was declared a global pandemic. There's so much grief bubbling up. Relationships frayed, faded, or destroyed. Health issues and medical gaslighting.

Looking forward to listening to this interview.
My aunt emailed me about it this morning - she has previously been hesitant to believe what we've shared about the harms of COVID.

#LongCovid

Serious question, what does one do when one's spouse is unable to handle their finances due to mental illness, won't discuss it, and the financial stability of the household is in dire straits?

Aaaand there goes the power. Well, since I can't work, I guess I'll work on Project Swap the Bedrooms! I was going to save the next big push for the weekend, but when opportunity knocks...

On days like this, I miss being able to call up my childhood best friend. I thought she'd always be there.

She stopped talking to me shortly after I got COVID & I didn't "go back to normal".

Apparently refusing to pretend COVID is over made her feel judged.

Some friend.

Instead of looking forward to celebrating my 10yr anniversary, I'm wishing last year's had been the last.

He hasn't brought it up yet. I wonder if he will. I don't want to. It's not like I want to celebrate.

To be clear, I'm not sad. I'm just done, & not yet in a position to do much about it.

* screams into the void*

The entire archive of CDC datasets can be found here.

HUGE shoutout to data archivists- this work is important 👏🙌🏻

archive.org/details/2025...

If you provide or know more people who provide services like this, please comment!! ♡

Central NJ:
@jodipayne.bsky.social
MN:
@robkirbycomics.bsky.social
Brainbridge:
www.bainbridgeisland.com/business/fre...

I picked up a jigsaw puzzle on a recent trip to value village with a friend. (Ok, I got 3). But the one I'm most excited about is the all silver Ravensburger Krypt puzzle.
My first solid colour puzzle, and it's so much fun so far.

Just making sure that everyone is aware of this crab that NOAA scientists found

Well shit. It gets worse and worse.
The only reason I've stayed on FB is for local community groups. I wish there was a decent alternative platform for those groups.

Wheeeee is 2am and I am wide awake stressing about how to find a way to break free and build a new life. How the hell do I work enough to clear my debts and stay saving again. I'm so mad I let shit go this far.
I don't want to be trapped anymore.

Well I guess I'm going to actually give this place a try.
Figures that shortly after I regain access to my bird account that it gets even worse than it already was.

the sads have kicked in. it feels like I'm trapped in a life where nothing bad gets better and most things get worse, including some of the nice things.

just struggling to find the energy to do stuff.

I'm so tired of survival mode.

Everything feels really emotionally heavy this week. Struggling to find the energy and motivation and hope to do what needs to be done. There's just so much, and it feels insurmountable. I don't know how I'm supposed to do it all.