Paige’s comedy I MAKE THE RULES
@comedypaige.bsky.social
Hot. Sweet. and Sweaty.
📍Portland, OR
Working on material for my eventual standup debut
📍Portland, OR
Working on material for my eventual standup debut
Pinned
Spreadable cheddar 🧀 makes the boys 💁🏼💁🏻♂️ wetter
bringing Oreos to the function is brat
December 22, 2025 at 9:30 AM
bringing Oreos to the function is brat
five first date questions to get any man to fall for you (tried and true examples !!!)
1. Have you looked up your criminal background history lately?
2. Have you ever broken a chair by sitting in one?
1. Have you looked up your criminal background history lately?
2. Have you ever broken a chair by sitting in one?
December 18, 2025 at 11:14 PM
five first date questions to get any man to fall for you (tried and true examples !!!)
1. Have you looked up your criminal background history lately?
2. Have you ever broken a chair by sitting in one?
1. Have you looked up your criminal background history lately?
2. Have you ever broken a chair by sitting in one?
OVERHEARD IN PORTLAND: “my mental health hurts!!!!!”
December 17, 2025 at 7:25 AM
OVERHEARD IN PORTLAND: “my mental health hurts!!!!!”
Facebook: so do you want to add this stranger now? They just added 9+ friends yesterday!
TikTok: so do you want to delete this app now? These people from hs stalked your profile religiously!
Spotify: so do you want to feel worse? Here are your top 5 songs and they’re all embarrassing!
TikTok: so do you want to delete this app now? These people from hs stalked your profile religiously!
Spotify: so do you want to feel worse? Here are your top 5 songs and they’re all embarrassing!
December 16, 2025 at 9:27 AM
Facebook: so do you want to add this stranger now? They just added 9+ friends yesterday!
TikTok: so do you want to delete this app now? These people from hs stalked your profile religiously!
Spotify: so do you want to feel worse? Here are your top 5 songs and they’re all embarrassing!
TikTok: so do you want to delete this app now? These people from hs stalked your profile religiously!
Spotify: so do you want to feel worse? Here are your top 5 songs and they’re all embarrassing!
I’m so glad you met me after my many awkward years of bullying and going through bizarre dramas that aren’t even WORTH explaining
December 16, 2025 at 7:44 AM
I’m so glad you met me after my many awkward years of bullying and going through bizarre dramas that aren’t even WORTH explaining
Being a woman is being home with just your dog and you’re chillin in bed and not
checking if you dropped chocolate ice cream on yourself
checking if you dropped chocolate ice cream on yourself
December 16, 2025 at 7:04 AM
Being a woman is being home with just your dog and you’re chillin in bed and not
checking if you dropped chocolate ice cream on yourself
checking if you dropped chocolate ice cream on yourself
OVERHEARD in PORTLAND: “yeahhh…he’s not really welcomed in the magic community”
December 16, 2025 at 6:36 AM
OVERHEARD in PORTLAND: “yeahhh…he’s not really welcomed in the magic community”
Womanhood includes the life experience of sitting next to your new munch as he snores away while plucking a chin hair and plotting secret plans
December 14, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Womanhood includes the life experience of sitting next to your new munch as he snores away while plucking a chin hair and plotting secret plans
App games make me feel like a fucking genius
December 13, 2025 at 10:56 AM
App games make me feel like a fucking genius
(trying to flirt): yeah? well i’ll take off that bible belt and beat ur ass
November 6, 2025 at 11:21 PM
(trying to flirt): yeah? well i’ll take off that bible belt and beat ur ass
Breakup diaries: made him call me daddy in front of his friend in our BUSINESS DEAL for him to pay me back for items left at the house. You bet your bottom dollar I DEATH GRIPPED that mf handshake #callherdaddy
November 6, 2025 at 11:19 AM
Breakup diaries: made him call me daddy in front of his friend in our BUSINESS DEAL for him to pay me back for items left at the house. You bet your bottom dollar I DEATH GRIPPED that mf handshake #callherdaddy
Rare ick #257: Guys who are obsessed with making Yelp reviews and get the high scores on there or whatever. However, it’s silly and fun if women do it!
November 6, 2025 at 10:06 AM
Rare ick #257: Guys who are obsessed with making Yelp reviews and get the high scores on there or whatever. However, it’s silly and fun if women do it!
what radicalized me into a powerful evil hilariously intimidating feminist dragon? simple!
I was raised evangelical, got abandonment wounds, and repeated the cycle of proving my lovability to the worst people on planet earth until my spirit team SMACKED some damn sense into me !!! now I’m a menace😍
I was raised evangelical, got abandonment wounds, and repeated the cycle of proving my lovability to the worst people on planet earth until my spirit team SMACKED some damn sense into me !!! now I’m a menace😍
November 6, 2025 at 6:42 AM
what radicalized me into a powerful evil hilariously intimidating feminist dragon? simple!
I was raised evangelical, got abandonment wounds, and repeated the cycle of proving my lovability to the worst people on planet earth until my spirit team SMACKED some damn sense into me !!! now I’m a menace😍
I was raised evangelical, got abandonment wounds, and repeated the cycle of proving my lovability to the worst people on planet earth until my spirit team SMACKED some damn sense into me !!! now I’m a menace😍
“Open wide. Lemme see that amygdala”
November 5, 2025 at 9:09 PM
“Open wide. Lemme see that amygdala”
Don’t worry about your breakup, babe! Just manifest his baldness to speed up and bring on his own downfall like a self fulfilling prophecy on all of your beautiful cylinders 🥰🥰🥰
November 5, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Don’t worry about your breakup, babe! Just manifest his baldness to speed up and bring on his own downfall like a self fulfilling prophecy on all of your beautiful cylinders 🥰🥰🥰
Does anyone else go all out for their dogs bday or are u normal
October 31, 2025 at 5:55 AM
Does anyone else go all out for their dogs bday or are u normal
How is my baby bear 8 years old!? #samoyed #BaileyBear
October 30, 2025 at 9:46 AM
How is my baby bear 8 years old!? #samoyed #BaileyBear
Breakup tip: make ur ex call you daddy in front of his friends (he’s crashing out because you blocked him lol)
October 30, 2025 at 9:45 AM
Breakup tip: make ur ex call you daddy in front of his friends (he’s crashing out because you blocked him lol)
If you think I’m crazy now just imagine me without my Wellbutrin + Lexapro morning cocktail
October 30, 2025 at 1:13 AM
If you think I’m crazy now just imagine me without my Wellbutrin + Lexapro morning cocktail
Reposted by Paige’s comedy I MAKE THE RULES
I have been charged in a federal indictment sought by the Department of Justice.
This political prosecution is an attack on all of our First Amendment rights. I’m not backing down, and we’re going to win.
This political prosecution is an attack on all of our First Amendment rights. I’m not backing down, and we’re going to win.
October 29, 2025 at 4:55 PM
I have been charged in a federal indictment sought by the Department of Justice.
This political prosecution is an attack on all of our First Amendment rights. I’m not backing down, and we’re going to win.
This political prosecution is an attack on all of our First Amendment rights. I’m not backing down, and we’re going to win.
✨✨ be the cringe you wish to see in the world ✨✨
October 29, 2025 at 9:38 AM
✨✨ be the cringe you wish to see in the world ✨✨
Wait can I be the #shadowpresident now??
October 29, 2025 at 9:35 AM
Wait can I be the #shadowpresident now??
Humans are, in fact?, 93% banana DNA or something
October 29, 2025 at 9:24 AM
Humans are, in fact?, 93% banana DNA or something
Can anyone guess what I’m planning to do in Portland for the ongoing protests at the ICE facility
October 29, 2025 at 9:07 AM
Can anyone guess what I’m planning to do in Portland for the ongoing protests at the ICE facility
Currently programming a shock collar to create an immersive phone notifications experience #thefutureishere
October 24, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Currently programming a shock collar to create an immersive phone notifications experience #thefutureishere