Crab Risotto
@crabrisotto.bsky.social
They/them, 1992
I lose sleep at night thinking about whether people in David Tennant and Michael Sheen's personal lives call them Dave and Mike
I lose sleep at night thinking about whether people in David Tennant and Michael Sheen's personal lives call them Dave and Mike
Y'all I fuckin missed Eurovision
October 1, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Y'all I fuckin missed Eurovision
Reposted by Crab Risotto
a story that gets bogged down in the details. peat fiction
September 25, 2025 at 5:16 AM
a story that gets bogged down in the details. peat fiction
Guys did I miss eurovision
It's been ages since I heard about Eurovision. I miss your fun multinational music contest guys, my country is falling into fascism I just want to watch Europeans in funny costumes sing the internet's next bangers. It's the only thing that will make me smile someone pls @ me when Eurovision 🙏🏻
April 28, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Guys did I miss eurovision
No contact isn't enough. I want my enemies to die
April 28, 2025 at 12:04 AM
No contact isn't enough. I want my enemies to die
In other news I hated every moment of Longlegs except for the part where he screams "UNMAKE ME!" bc same
March 25, 2025 at 6:53 AM
In other news I hated every moment of Longlegs except for the part where he screams "UNMAKE ME!" bc same
Reposted by Crab Risotto
a second health bar appears above the vatican as the pope enters his next boss phase
Pope Francis is recovering well from pneumonia and a “new stage” in his pontificate is opening, two of his closest advisers say.
Pope Francis advisers say he’ll recover from pneumonia and a ‘new stage’ is opening for him
The Vatican press office reported Friday that Francis’ overall condition remained stable, with slight improvements as he continues respiratory and physical physiotherapy.
nbcnews.to
March 22, 2025 at 7:50 PM
a second health bar appears above the vatican as the pope enters his next boss phase
Had a dream that made me think some of my oldest, most beloved friends think I'm a miserable person & they'd be right but to know that's what they think of me IF it was true would p much destroy me bc it would mean they stopped believing in me
March 15, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Had a dream that made me think some of my oldest, most beloved friends think I'm a miserable person & they'd be right but to know that's what they think of me IF it was true would p much destroy me bc it would mean they stopped believing in me
It's like 4:30am and I'm crying at sad tiktoks and just found a pickle pouch wrapper stuck to my leg from my snack earlier. Feels ridiculous. Humans used to forage 🤦🏻♂️
March 15, 2025 at 8:33 AM
It's like 4:30am and I'm crying at sad tiktoks and just found a pickle pouch wrapper stuck to my leg from my snack earlier. Feels ridiculous. Humans used to forage 🤦🏻♂️
Reposted by Crab Risotto
Dear men I am so sorry that most of the body wash marketed to you smells like total shit
March 1, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Dear men I am so sorry that most of the body wash marketed to you smells like total shit
Reposted by Crab Risotto
Behind every great man is a great woman. Behind every great woman is that same man back to back. Around them is a pack of wolves. The woman grips a knife, the first wolf attacks
February 20, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Behind every great man is a great woman. Behind every great woman is that same man back to back. Around them is a pack of wolves. The woman grips a knife, the first wolf attacks
Reposted by Crab Risotto
good morning!!
February 20, 2025 at 10:42 AM
good morning!!
It's been ages since I heard about Eurovision. I miss your fun multinational music contest guys, my country is falling into fascism I just want to watch Europeans in funny costumes sing the internet's next bangers. It's the only thing that will make me smile someone pls @ me when Eurovision 🙏🏻
February 20, 2025 at 5:38 AM
It's been ages since I heard about Eurovision. I miss your fun multinational music contest guys, my country is falling into fascism I just want to watch Europeans in funny costumes sing the internet's next bangers. It's the only thing that will make me smile someone pls @ me when Eurovision 🙏🏻
Using pizza rolls as soup croutons is peak unhealthy living but damn it's delicious
February 13, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Using pizza rolls as soup croutons is peak unhealthy living but damn it's delicious
My niece is one of the funniest ppl I know. She's been sick so I gave her a Pedialyte freeze pop and Pedialyte is gross so she goes "I feel bad for my tongue right now" I ask why & she says, "Because it's in my mouth right now" 🫠
February 9, 2025 at 4:59 AM
My niece is one of the funniest ppl I know. She's been sick so I gave her a Pedialyte freeze pop and Pedialyte is gross so she goes "I feel bad for my tongue right now" I ask why & she says, "Because it's in my mouth right now" 🫠
"but if you stay single & don't have kids who's going to look out for you where you're old" No one was looking out for me last time I was helpless & powerless so I think I'll be fine. Next question
February 2, 2025 at 5:46 PM
"but if you stay single & don't have kids who's going to look out for you where you're old" No one was looking out for me last time I was helpless & powerless so I think I'll be fine. Next question
The boyfriend in Smile sucks. You're telling me they LIVE together and he can't summon a shred of empathy for his girlfriend? Idk about y'all but if my gf's cat wound up dead in a present she wrapped & the night she wrapped it, there was a supposed break-in, then she told me she thought she was
January 22, 2025 at 7:27 PM
The boyfriend in Smile sucks. You're telling me they LIVE together and he can't summon a shred of empathy for his girlfriend? Idk about y'all but if my gf's cat wound up dead in a present she wrapped & the night she wrapped it, there was a supposed break-in, then she told me she thought she was
My biggest fear is that people won't miss me when I die and I think it's bonkers that I care about that so much when by the time it happens I won't be existing enough to see or care. Like what good does that do 😂
January 6, 2025 at 7:19 PM
My biggest fear is that people won't miss me when I die and I think it's bonkers that I care about that so much when by the time it happens I won't be existing enough to see or care. Like what good does that do 😂
Finally watched some of the handmaid's tale after years of avoiding it due to TERFS appropriating the concept. Now convinced they must never have actually watched it because they would be the Aunt Lydias & the handmaids telling on people to save their own ass
November 15, 2024 at 4:21 PM
Finally watched some of the handmaid's tale after years of avoiding it due to TERFS appropriating the concept. Now convinced they must never have actually watched it because they would be the Aunt Lydias & the handmaids telling on people to save their own ass
My hair is so freakin soft rn I just want someone to pet it
June 3, 2024 at 4:28 AM
My hair is so freakin soft rn I just want someone to pet it
Never fully looked up what a foot peel would entail. Did a foot peel. Surprised Pikachu when I notice my feet peeling, even though I read the instructions thoroughly & it said my feet would peel. Nightmarish
May 27, 2024 at 7:04 PM
Never fully looked up what a foot peel would entail. Did a foot peel. Surprised Pikachu when I notice my feet peeling, even though I read the instructions thoroughly & it said my feet would peel. Nightmarish
Sometimes I hope when my brother in law's phone will light up at 4am, my sister will see it & wake him up to demand who's texting him at 4am but it's me sending him silly tiktoks
May 27, 2024 at 8:08 AM
Sometimes I hope when my brother in law's phone will light up at 4am, my sister will see it & wake him up to demand who's texting him at 4am but it's me sending him silly tiktoks
I'd maybe like to get married someday but is it weird I almost don't want to have a wedding just because I know my family wouldn't come? Like I used to live up the street from my mom and I knew that even if I planned a wedding to have in my backyard she still wouldn't show
April 20, 2024 at 4:33 AM
I'd maybe like to get married someday but is it weird I almost don't want to have a wedding just because I know my family wouldn't come? Like I used to live up the street from my mom and I knew that even if I planned a wedding to have in my backyard she still wouldn't show
I present to you with absolutely no context, Lt. Meehan (Band of Brothers) and Jack Krauser (Resident Evil) side by side comparison
March 29, 2024 at 3:03 AM
I present to you with absolutely no context, Lt. Meehan (Band of Brothers) and Jack Krauser (Resident Evil) side by side comparison