I mean even if it was "just a phase" it's a phase where so far it's made me feel great. It makes my existence happier.

For reference, I started dressing femininely and wearing makeup in about February. And I've not looked back since, really. Basically every time I've left the house has been in fem clothes and anytime I've actually been going to see anyone I've worn makeup

And I've seen people say that even as soon as you start considering you should start the process because the waiting times are crazy, which makes sense, but also is scary lol. Obv the logic is if you change your mind you can back out at any time and even the first couple of months barely have effect

So even if/when I fully transition and live as a woman (still feels kinda of impossible even though I'd do it in a heartbeat if it was as simple as pressing a button), I will always have this experience of having been a boy and a man looking for a dad to teach me how to be man

Not that women or enbies can't have dad issues and look for father figures *obviously* but that this was something I've always felt and associated with my manhood (experience not genitals).

Just saw a man in a video talking about how he plays this character who doesn't have a dad and has always been searching out father figures etc and how he can relate to that. And I'm like, well, same. That's the kind of experience that's always priced me into "oh yeah this is a man experience"