Ian
@crayman.bsky.social
Coming to you live from an abandoned radio tower deep within the Ultra Low Emissions Zone
(Rewatching the DHMIS TV Songs)
🎵There's so much we don't understand🎵
🎵Like who really built the pyramids🎵
"People!"
🎵There's so much we don't understand🎵
🎵Like who really built the pyramids🎵
"People!"
December 30, 2025 at 8:27 PM
(Rewatching the DHMIS TV Songs)
🎵There's so much we don't understand🎵
🎵Like who really built the pyramids🎵
"People!"
🎵There's so much we don't understand🎵
🎵Like who really built the pyramids🎵
"People!"
The sales seem more honest these days
December 29, 2025 at 11:09 AM
The sales seem more honest these days
BBC Sherlock has a lot to answer for
December 23, 2025 at 8:23 AM
BBC Sherlock has a lot to answer for
Remember to travel to your nearest big Tesco and experience the traditional festive argy-bargy. For best results, bring about 17 kids with you (Just borrow your neighbours) and see if you can create a trolley bottleneck that can't physically be resolved without removing the shelving units.
December 21, 2025 at 12:07 PM
Remember to travel to your nearest big Tesco and experience the traditional festive argy-bargy. For best results, bring about 17 kids with you (Just borrow your neighbours) and see if you can create a trolley bottleneck that can't physically be resolved without removing the shelving units.
>inhales<
ACTIVE AUTOREPLY!!!
ACTIVE AUTOREPLY!!!
December 18, 2025 at 4:03 PM
>inhales<
ACTIVE AUTOREPLY!!!
ACTIVE AUTOREPLY!!!
For some reason everyone ends thinking the building on the right is the Bank of England. It’s just a fancy mall with a Fortnum & Mason and a Tiffany in. The one on the left is the bank.
December 18, 2025 at 6:24 AM
For some reason everyone ends thinking the building on the right is the Bank of England. It’s just a fancy mall with a Fortnum & Mason and a Tiffany in. The one on the left is the bank.
The Scots are right, Jan 2nd should be a bank holiday.
December 17, 2025 at 10:23 AM
The Scots are right, Jan 2nd should be a bank holiday.
Step 362:
Ponder the LEGO Technic, Plate 1 x 5 with Smooth Ends, 4 Studs and Center Axle Hole, Blue
Ponder the LEGO Technic, Plate 1 x 5 with Smooth Ends, 4 Studs and Center Axle Hole, Blue
December 14, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Step 362:
Ponder the LEGO Technic, Plate 1 x 5 with Smooth Ends, 4 Studs and Center Axle Hole, Blue
Ponder the LEGO Technic, Plate 1 x 5 with Smooth Ends, 4 Studs and Center Axle Hole, Blue
I'm worried I'm going to spend more of the break watch X-Files episodes than one ought to. It's a good worried though.
December 14, 2025 at 7:42 PM
I'm worried I'm going to spend more of the break watch X-Files episodes than one ought to. It's a good worried though.
Assorted December sunrises
December 14, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Assorted December sunrises
My one sentence horror story -
"Oh, I only read non-fiction."
"Oh, I only read non-fiction."
December 8, 2025 at 11:15 AM
My one sentence horror story -
"Oh, I only read non-fiction."
"Oh, I only read non-fiction."
Didn’t they teach paragraphs at Quantico Scully?
November 23, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Didn’t they teach paragraphs at Quantico Scully?
France Review:
Eiffel Tower 3/5 - Long wait for lifts.
Chateau Versailles - 4/5 Biggest and fanciest place. Tourists there suck tho
Trianon - 5/5 - Secret best bit
Louvre 4/5 - Getting inside is terrible even with timed ticket
Notre Dam 5/5
Sacré-Cœur - 2/5 - Area is full of aggressive scammers
Eiffel Tower 3/5 - Long wait for lifts.
Chateau Versailles - 4/5 Biggest and fanciest place. Tourists there suck tho
Trianon - 5/5 - Secret best bit
Louvre 4/5 - Getting inside is terrible even with timed ticket
Notre Dam 5/5
Sacré-Cœur - 2/5 - Area is full of aggressive scammers
November 16, 2025 at 2:51 PM
France Review:
Eiffel Tower 3/5 - Long wait for lifts.
Chateau Versailles - 4/5 Biggest and fanciest place. Tourists there suck tho
Trianon - 5/5 - Secret best bit
Louvre 4/5 - Getting inside is terrible even with timed ticket
Notre Dam 5/5
Sacré-Cœur - 2/5 - Area is full of aggressive scammers
Eiffel Tower 3/5 - Long wait for lifts.
Chateau Versailles - 4/5 Biggest and fanciest place. Tourists there suck tho
Trianon - 5/5 - Secret best bit
Louvre 4/5 - Getting inside is terrible even with timed ticket
Notre Dam 5/5
Sacré-Cœur - 2/5 - Area is full of aggressive scammers
First attempt at speaking to someone in France -
Me: “Bonjour! Parlez-vous anglais?”
Them: “What?”
Me: “Bonjour! Parlez-vous anglais?”
Them: “What?”
November 14, 2025 at 3:23 PM
First attempt at speaking to someone in France -
Me: “Bonjour! Parlez-vous anglais?”
Them: “What?”
Me: “Bonjour! Parlez-vous anglais?”
Them: “What?”
<- helpfully carries someone's suitcase
"You can use the roly wheels"
"Honestly I prefer to just carry it."
"But the wheels..."
"I really find them annoying and it's not that heavy"
"But you can just drag it with the wheels?"
"I hate the wheels!"
"JUST USE THE WHEELS"
"I WOULD RATHER DIE"
"You can use the roly wheels"
"Honestly I prefer to just carry it."
"But the wheels..."
"I really find them annoying and it's not that heavy"
"But you can just drag it with the wheels?"
"I hate the wheels!"
"JUST USE THE WHEELS"
"I WOULD RATHER DIE"
November 6, 2025 at 9:20 PM
<- helpfully carries someone's suitcase
"You can use the roly wheels"
"Honestly I prefer to just carry it."
"But the wheels..."
"I really find them annoying and it's not that heavy"
"But you can just drag it with the wheels?"
"I hate the wheels!"
"JUST USE THE WHEELS"
"I WOULD RATHER DIE"
"You can use the roly wheels"
"Honestly I prefer to just carry it."
"But the wheels..."
"I really find them annoying and it's not that heavy"
"But you can just drag it with the wheels?"
"I hate the wheels!"
"JUST USE THE WHEELS"
"I WOULD RATHER DIE"
In the ticket description write a list of the Functional and Non-Functional smoothies
October 28, 2025 at 12:45 PM
In the ticket description write a list of the Functional and Non-Functional smoothies
Remember: Spring back, Fall forward
October 24, 2025 at 11:28 AM
Remember: Spring back, Fall forward
I'm pretty good at figuring out when people accidentally write 'not' meaning 'now' (Eg. "It's not working"), and other way around. It's basically a superpower.
October 23, 2025 at 10:53 AM
I'm pretty good at figuring out when people accidentally write 'not' meaning 'now' (Eg. "It's not working"), and other way around. It's basically a superpower.
As a reasonably Uncle-coded person, I aspire to live up to the definition from DHMIS
DHMIS Lily Explains what an Uncle is | Episode 3 Family
YouTube video by Cortez Dragon
www.youtube.com
October 19, 2025 at 3:06 PM
As a reasonably Uncle-coded person, I aspire to live up to the definition from DHMIS
I'm doing some good harbinging today, so watch out for that
October 16, 2025 at 1:20 PM
I'm doing some good harbinging today, so watch out for that
Local saying: A stopped clock is 25-minutes fast twice a day.
October 11, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Local saying: A stopped clock is 25-minutes fast twice a day.
Not sure star wars should have wicker
October 6, 2025 at 7:59 AM
Not sure star wars should have wicker
Old plan: Less anime
New plan: More anime
New plan: More anime
September 29, 2025 at 10:20 AM
Old plan: Less anime
New plan: More anime
New plan: More anime
Fun tip:
Replace a few of your commonly used items with identical versions but in different colours. Enjoy the sense of unease that follows where you wonder if you've slipped into an alternate dimension. Ask your friends if they know how you can get back to the 'Blue backpack dimension'
Replace a few of your commonly used items with identical versions but in different colours. Enjoy the sense of unease that follows where you wonder if you've slipped into an alternate dimension. Ask your friends if they know how you can get back to the 'Blue backpack dimension'
September 26, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Fun tip:
Replace a few of your commonly used items with identical versions but in different colours. Enjoy the sense of unease that follows where you wonder if you've slipped into an alternate dimension. Ask your friends if they know how you can get back to the 'Blue backpack dimension'
Replace a few of your commonly used items with identical versions but in different colours. Enjoy the sense of unease that follows where you wonder if you've slipped into an alternate dimension. Ask your friends if they know how you can get back to the 'Blue backpack dimension'