Dads Are Nerds
@dadsarenerds.bsky.social
Husband to one
Father of three
Trying his best
Profile picture is from Something Positive by Randy Milholland (https://somethingpositive.net). Check him out!
Father of three
Trying his best
Profile picture is from Something Positive by Randy Milholland (https://somethingpositive.net). Check him out!
Pinned
Dads Are Nerds
@dadsarenerds.bsky.social
· Feb 12
I tell my kids, "I love you less than three volcanic sheep." Because:
I love you
< 3
Lava ewe
I love you
< 3
Lava ewe
Merry Christmas, and I hope everyone's safe from the Jólakötturinn!
December 25, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Merry Christmas, and I hope everyone's safe from the Jólakötturinn!
ANIMAL FARM Trailer (2026) Seth Rogen, Woody Harrelson
YouTube video by ONE Media
m.youtube.com
December 12, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Hot Take:
Glinda is one of the most successful movie villains of all time. When Palpatine concentrated power, crushed opposition and took control of the Galactic Senate, he made enemies who formed the Rebellion and eventually overthrew him (twice).
Glinda is one of the most successful movie villains of all time. When Palpatine concentrated power, crushed opposition and took control of the Galactic Senate, he made enemies who formed the Rebellion and eventually overthrew him (twice).
November 25, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Hot Take:
Glinda is one of the most successful movie villains of all time. When Palpatine concentrated power, crushed opposition and took control of the Galactic Senate, he made enemies who formed the Rebellion and eventually overthrew him (twice).
Glinda is one of the most successful movie villains of all time. When Palpatine concentrated power, crushed opposition and took control of the Galactic Senate, he made enemies who formed the Rebellion and eventually overthrew him (twice).
I thought the Onion was supposed to be satire
Democrats Sick Of Being Blamed For Cowardice On Issues They Actually Just Don’t Care About
Democrats Sick Of Being Blamed For Cowardice On Issues They Actually Just Don’t Care About
WASHINGTON—Having thus far caved on eliminating the filibuster, advancing an adequate climate change agenda, and protecting voting rights, congressional Democrats told reporters Wednesday they were si...
theonion.com
November 10, 2025 at 5:32 PM
I thought the Onion was supposed to be satire
Reposted by Dads Are Nerds
ICE Agent Panics After Realizing There More Children Than He Has Flash-Bangs
ICE Agent Panics After Realizing There More Children Than He Has Flash-Bangs
CHICAGO—His heart racing with terror as he found himself completely surrounded, an Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent conducting a raid on a Chicago elementary school reportedly fell into panic...
theonion.com
November 9, 2025 at 7:00 PM
ICE Agent Panics After Realizing There More Children Than He Has Flash-Bangs
Me: "Hey kid #3, can you get into pajamas and get ready for bed?"
#3: "I don't need to"
*Comes into the room already in pajamas*
"I tricked you!"
Me: "You tricked me, huh?"
#3: "Yeah, it's like lying, but not."
#3: "I don't need to"
*Comes into the room already in pajamas*
"I tricked you!"
Me: "You tricked me, huh?"
#3: "Yeah, it's like lying, but not."
October 25, 2025 at 1:06 AM
Me: "Hey kid #3, can you get into pajamas and get ready for bed?"
#3: "I don't need to"
*Comes into the room already in pajamas*
"I tricked you!"
Me: "You tricked me, huh?"
#3: "Yeah, it's like lying, but not."
#3: "I don't need to"
*Comes into the room already in pajamas*
"I tricked you!"
Me: "You tricked me, huh?"
#3: "Yeah, it's like lying, but not."
Careful there Mikey. You're so far up that @$$ I'm worried you'll drown in all that "satire"
www.politico.com/live-updates...
www.politico.com/live-updates...
Mike Johnson says Trump was ‘using satire to make a point’ with AI poop-bombing video
The foul deepfake clip was Trump's response to Saturday's "No Kings" protests.
www.politico.com
October 21, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Careful there Mikey. You're so far up that @$$ I'm worried you'll drown in all that "satire"
www.politico.com/live-updates...
www.politico.com/live-updates...
Kid #2 (age 6), trying to remember which is the left hand and which is the right.
Me: "Point your thumb and first finger out and see which hand forms an 'L'."
Kid #2: "Oh, ok."
*Looks back at hands with a confused expression*
"Dad, how do you make the 'R'?"
Me: "Point your thumb and first finger out and see which hand forms an 'L'."
Kid #2: "Oh, ok."
*Looks back at hands with a confused expression*
"Dad, how do you make the 'R'?"
October 14, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Kid #2 (age 6), trying to remember which is the left hand and which is the right.
Me: "Point your thumb and first finger out and see which hand forms an 'L'."
Kid #2: "Oh, ok."
*Looks back at hands with a confused expression*
"Dad, how do you make the 'R'?"
Me: "Point your thumb and first finger out and see which hand forms an 'L'."
Kid #2: "Oh, ok."
*Looks back at hands with a confused expression*
"Dad, how do you make the 'R'?"
Me: "Mom's birthday is next week. What are you kids getting her?"
#2: "Books"
#1: "Books"
#2: "yeah, books are best for Mom"
Me: "you two have no idea how much your mother loves you right now"
#2: "Books"
#1: "Books"
#2: "yeah, books are best for Mom"
Me: "you two have no idea how much your mother loves you right now"
October 13, 2025 at 3:35 AM
Me: "Mom's birthday is next week. What are you kids getting her?"
#2: "Books"
#1: "Books"
#2: "yeah, books are best for Mom"
Me: "you two have no idea how much your mother loves you right now"
#2: "Books"
#1: "Books"
#2: "yeah, books are best for Mom"
Me: "you two have no idea how much your mother loves you right now"
Reposted by Dads Are Nerds
... Can We Talk? - SOME MORE NEWS
YouTube video by Some More News
youtu.be
October 3, 2025 at 4:13 PM
It's wild that OSC forgot that he invented a religion that would have called CK a racist asshole
October 2, 2025 at 11:44 PM
It's wild that OSC forgot that he invented a religion that would have called CK a racist asshole
Kid #3 wanted "bread pancakes" for breakfast this morning.
Now we have a new name for naan.
Now we have a new name for naan.
September 1, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Kid #3 wanted "bread pancakes" for breakfast this morning.
Now we have a new name for naan.
Now we have a new name for naan.
Reposted by Dads Are Nerds
How to tell when your kid needs to put the electronics down:
Me: Hey Kid #3, maybe you should take a break from your tablet.
Kid #3: *heavy sigh* I already do, when I'm sleeping.
Me: Hey Kid #3, maybe you should take a break from your tablet.
Kid #3: *heavy sigh* I already do, when I'm sleeping.
July 12, 2025 at 11:13 PM
How to tell when your kid needs to put the electronics down:
Me: Hey Kid #3, maybe you should take a break from your tablet.
Kid #3: *heavy sigh* I already do, when I'm sleeping.
Me: Hey Kid #3, maybe you should take a break from your tablet.
Kid #3: *heavy sigh* I already do, when I'm sleeping.
Me: So which one is the Okapi and which one is the Original?
Kid #1: Come on Kid #3, we're going home. Dad ruined the zoo.
Kid #1: Come on Kid #3, we're going home. Dad ruined the zoo.
June 7, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Me: So which one is the Okapi and which one is the Original?
Kid #1: Come on Kid #3, we're going home. Dad ruined the zoo.
Kid #1: Come on Kid #3, we're going home. Dad ruined the zoo.
Kid #3: "Dad! Watch me go down the slide!"
Me: *thinks of all the ways this could be a trip to the ER
"Good job, buddy. Try to be careful."
Me: *thinks of all the ways this could be a trip to the ER
"Good job, buddy. Try to be careful."
April 9, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Kid #3: "Dad! Watch me go down the slide!"
Me: *thinks of all the ways this could be a trip to the ER
"Good job, buddy. Try to be careful."
Me: *thinks of all the ways this could be a trip to the ER
"Good job, buddy. Try to be careful."
Kid #3 (6 yrs old): "Dad, do you want to come to the park with me and my mom?"
Me: "That depends, is your mom cute?"
Kid #3: "No. She's the mom that cooks dinner with you all the time."
Kid #1: *dies from laughing*
Me: "That depends, is your mom cute?"
Kid #3: "No. She's the mom that cooks dinner with you all the time."
Kid #1: *dies from laughing*
March 12, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Kid #3 (6 yrs old): "Dad, do you want to come to the park with me and my mom?"
Me: "That depends, is your mom cute?"
Kid #3: "No. She's the mom that cooks dinner with you all the time."
Kid #1: *dies from laughing*
Me: "That depends, is your mom cute?"
Kid #3: "No. She's the mom that cooks dinner with you all the time."
Kid #1: *dies from laughing*
Kid #3, snuggled in a blanket on the couch: "Warm things make me tired and cold things wake me up."
Me: "Is that why I put you to bed every night and Mommy wakes you up in the morning for school?"
Wife, unamused, puts her cold hands up my shirt.
Me: "Is that why I put you to bed every night and Mommy wakes you up in the morning for school?"
Wife, unamused, puts her cold hands up my shirt.
February 28, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Kid #3, snuggled in a blanket on the couch: "Warm things make me tired and cold things wake me up."
Me: "Is that why I put you to bed every night and Mommy wakes you up in the morning for school?"
Wife, unamused, puts her cold hands up my shirt.
Me: "Is that why I put you to bed every night and Mommy wakes you up in the morning for school?"
Wife, unamused, puts her cold hands up my shirt.
Me: "When you place the missive in the postal receptacle, please ensure to orient the crimson banner skyward. I know it's an arcane technology lost to time."
Kid #1, rolling her eyes: "I know how to mailbox, Dad."
Kid #1, rolling her eyes: "I know how to mailbox, Dad."
February 25, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Me: "When you place the missive in the postal receptacle, please ensure to orient the crimson banner skyward. I know it's an arcane technology lost to time."
Kid #1, rolling her eyes: "I know how to mailbox, Dad."
Kid #1, rolling her eyes: "I know how to mailbox, Dad."
Me: "So, what do you think the tooth fairy is gonna bring you?"
#3: "A chocolate coin! Wait, 20 chocolate coins! Actually, 27 chocolate coins!"
Me: "You think the tooth fairy is going to bring you 27 chocolate coins for that one tooth?"
#3: "Yup. One for everyone in my class to have a little treat."
#3: "A chocolate coin! Wait, 20 chocolate coins! Actually, 27 chocolate coins!"
Me: "You think the tooth fairy is going to bring you 27 chocolate coins for that one tooth?"
#3: "Yup. One for everyone in my class to have a little treat."
February 25, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Me: "So, what do you think the tooth fairy is gonna bring you?"
#3: "A chocolate coin! Wait, 20 chocolate coins! Actually, 27 chocolate coins!"
Me: "You think the tooth fairy is going to bring you 27 chocolate coins for that one tooth?"
#3: "Yup. One for everyone in my class to have a little treat."
#3: "A chocolate coin! Wait, 20 chocolate coins! Actually, 27 chocolate coins!"
Me: "You think the tooth fairy is going to bring you 27 chocolate coins for that one tooth?"
#3: "Yup. One for everyone in my class to have a little treat."
Kid #3 (6 yrs old): "Mom said I can have your last popsicle for MY dessert. Mua ha ha!"
*steals popsicle and runs*
Me to wife: "Oh really?!"
Wife: "I just said he could have a dessert, but he had to talk to you about it first."
*steals popsicle and runs*
Me to wife: "Oh really?!"
Wife: "I just said he could have a dessert, but he had to talk to you about it first."
February 22, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Kid #3 (6 yrs old): "Mom said I can have your last popsicle for MY dessert. Mua ha ha!"
*steals popsicle and runs*
Me to wife: "Oh really?!"
Wife: "I just said he could have a dessert, but he had to talk to you about it first."
*steals popsicle and runs*
Me to wife: "Oh really?!"
Wife: "I just said he could have a dessert, but he had to talk to you about it first."
Kid #1: "What's your opinion on lavender honey?"
Me: "It smells pretty good, sweetie. (fyi, that's not an appropriate nickname for your dad)"
Kid #1: "No. Lavender flavored honey, ya Doofus."
Me: "That's a much better nickname."
Me: "It smells pretty good, sweetie. (fyi, that's not an appropriate nickname for your dad)"
Kid #1: "No. Lavender flavored honey, ya Doofus."
Me: "That's a much better nickname."
February 21, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Kid #1: "What's your opinion on lavender honey?"
Me: "It smells pretty good, sweetie. (fyi, that's not an appropriate nickname for your dad)"
Kid #1: "No. Lavender flavored honey, ya Doofus."
Me: "That's a much better nickname."
Me: "It smells pretty good, sweetie. (fyi, that's not an appropriate nickname for your dad)"
Kid #1: "No. Lavender flavored honey, ya Doofus."
Me: "That's a much better nickname."
Saw a meme the other day that said, "Funny guys are dangerous. They make you laugh and laugh and laugh, then BOOM, you're naked."
I can't tell if it's 'pro-guys with a sense of humor'
Or 'anti-Bill Cosby'
I can't tell if it's 'pro-guys with a sense of humor'
Or 'anti-Bill Cosby'
February 21, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Saw a meme the other day that said, "Funny guys are dangerous. They make you laugh and laugh and laugh, then BOOM, you're naked."
I can't tell if it's 'pro-guys with a sense of humor'
Or 'anti-Bill Cosby'
I can't tell if it's 'pro-guys with a sense of humor'
Or 'anti-Bill Cosby'
On a scale from 1 to 10, how worried should I be that Kid #2 just walked up and said, "Hello, fellow human."
February 20, 2025 at 4:30 PM
On a scale from 1 to 10, how worried should I be that Kid #2 just walked up and said, "Hello, fellow human."
Kid #1, eating a bowl of lime jello: "This is soooo good. I don't care if it IS made from hooves."
Me: "You know it's made with unicorn hooves, right?"
Kid #1: ...
Me: "That's why it comes in those bright colors."
Kid #1: *pushes bowl away*
Me: "You know it's made with unicorn hooves, right?"
Kid #1: ...
Me: "That's why it comes in those bright colors."
Kid #1: *pushes bowl away*
February 20, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Kid #1, eating a bowl of lime jello: "This is soooo good. I don't care if it IS made from hooves."
Me: "You know it's made with unicorn hooves, right?"
Kid #1: ...
Me: "That's why it comes in those bright colors."
Kid #1: *pushes bowl away*
Me: "You know it's made with unicorn hooves, right?"
Kid #1: ...
Me: "That's why it comes in those bright colors."
Kid #1: *pushes bowl away*