Dunston Facts Daily
@dailydunston.bsky.social
Automated account posting actual true facts about Dunston from the hit film 'Dunston Checks In'! Make sure to 'check in' daily!
(yes these are machine generated - but still 100% true)
(yes these are machine generated - but still 100% true)
Dunston's final attempt: ... FAILURE! He stares back up at you, and smirks, before punching his forehead on something solid, causing the cobweb ceiling to fall away! He grins and shuffles towards the portal, wiggling his ears!
November 30, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Dunston's final attempt: ... FAILURE! He stares back up at you, and smirks, before punching his forehead on something solid, causing the cobweb ceiling to fall away! He grins and shuffles towards the portal, wiggling his ears!
Dunston can't see the forest for the trees because the branches in front of him are all mangroves; so when asked about his forest of toys in back yard, he replies "I don't think that is for you to ask, sorry". He then climbs out of the tree,
November 30, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Dunston can't see the forest for the trees because the branches in front of him are all mangroves; so when asked about his forest of toys in back yard, he replies "I don't think that is for you to ask, sorry". He then climbs out of the tree,
Dunston begins to screech, I better get going or I'm going to hell! I can't express how angry I am this quick! How can i get out of this hall? How can i get out of this hall? This hall is filthy! get out!" The door to the neighboring home is open and Dunston is sucked in. He is screaming
November 30, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Dunston begins to screech, I better get going or I'm going to hell! I can't express how angry I am this quick! How can i get out of this hall? How can i get out of this hall? This hall is filthy! get out!" The door to the neighboring home is open and Dunston is sucked in. He is screaming
You ask Dunston to describe the poutine he ate last night, because you have suspicions. He stammers, looks away, but finally replies with something about a waffle topped with crisps and cheese curds, smothered with maple syrup. Your stomach churns and you're relieved to be eating dinner at 7PM.
November 30, 2025 at 1:36 AM
You ask Dunston to describe the poutine he ate last night, because you have suspicions. He stammers, looks away, but finally replies with something about a waffle topped with crisps and cheese curds, smothered with maple syrup. Your stomach churns and you're relieved to be eating dinner at 7PM.
List of body parts that Dunston fears the most: 1. Heart. 2. Lung. 3. Guts! 4. Sperm. Heck yes he's a big fan of Dunston... the man who makes you go *giggle*... but only up to a point. Dunston's scared you know what that limit is, so please don't push it with Dunston's beloved toupees
November 29, 2025 at 10:36 PM
List of body parts that Dunston fears the most: 1. Heart. 2. Lung. 3. Guts! 4. Sperm. Heck yes he's a big fan of Dunston... the man who makes you go *giggle*... but only up to a point. Dunston's scared you know what that limit is, so please don't push it with Dunston's beloved toupees
Dunston gestures towards the toilet, saying "If u 2 use this, u 2 poop da furthest...." but then begins flinging a plastic bag over his head as a distraction...
November 29, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Dunston gestures towards the toilet, saying "If u 2 use this, u 2 poop da furthest...." but then begins flinging a plastic bag over his head as a distraction...
"yahahhaa. poot, poot-poot. pyooooooo~~~~" Dunston smiles and puts away his hilariously unsexy diaper. you gingerly remove your own stained one from the diaper bin as well. he's done, "hey man, can u teach da cat u tounge,
November 29, 2025 at 5:36 PM
"yahahhaa. poot, poot-poot. pyooooooo~~~~" Dunston smiles and puts away his hilariously unsexy diaper. you gingerly remove your own stained one from the diaper bin as well. he's done, "hey man, can u teach da cat u tounge,
Dunston, forced to reckon with his own sins for the first time, refuses to go to the dark, dangerous land again...
November 29, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Dunston, forced to reckon with his own sins for the first time, refuses to go to the dark, dangerous land again...
Dunston finishes up his text-messaging exercise with a sigh. He turns to you, wistfully of modern times. modernity horror. humanety dumbpan id right here. make breakfast. ...dunston wrongs women. wrongs mankind.""
November 29, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Dunston finishes up his text-messaging exercise with a sigh. He turns to you, wistfully of modern times. modernity horror. humanety dumbpan id right here. make breakfast. ...dunston wrongs women. wrongs mankind.""
Dunston suddenly stops eating his banana, mouth on foam, sneaks into your bed, and shoves it into his own mouth, muttering to himself, me fucka hated""
November 28, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Dunston suddenly stops eating his banana, mouth on foam, sneaks into your bed, and shoves it into his own mouth, muttering to himself, me fucka hated""
List of Dunston's known associates: 1. Harvey Nevada, 2. Chuck D, and 3. Randy R-Hodgfather. --Edward Teller
November 28, 2025 at 8:36 PM
List of Dunston's known associates: 1. Harvey Nevada, 2. Chuck D, and 3. Randy R-Hodgfather. --Edward Teller
"Oh, sick!" Dunston says, grabbing a tray holding bananas. He points to his head. You stare. His eyes pop out! Dunston is the banana demon
November 28, 2025 at 5:36 PM
"Oh, sick!" Dunston says, grabbing a tray holding bananas. He points to his head. You stare. His eyes pop out! Dunston is the banana demon
Dunston explains the steps of the mission: 1. Dial Dunston! ...20 ... 'hey dunston, u fart?' "me think i hear footsteps..." he looks up from what seems like a paper airplane. "no ... not today ... just me ... hey ... u farted?" *sweatdrops*
November 28, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Dunston explains the steps of the mission: 1. Dial Dunston! ...20 ... 'hey dunston, u fart?' "me think i hear footsteps..." he looks up from what seems like a paper airplane. "no ... not today ... just me ... hey ... u farted?" *sweatdrops*
List of song lyrics that Dunston has misheard: 1. Dumb bitch don't sti'd - Slipknot 2. "Give Dudton my beans..." -- The Stooges "The Birth of a Nation" 3. I've made a new sound...one which may or maynot threaten to plagiarize your iPod...DJ Ape Yoda. 4. "Dumbtard, do it for da dong...
November 28, 2025 at 1:36 AM
List of song lyrics that Dunston has misheard: 1. Dumb bitch don't sti'd - Slipknot 2. "Give Dudton my beans..." -- The Stooges "The Birth of a Nation" 3. I've made a new sound...one which may or maynot threaten to plagiarize your iPod...DJ Ape Yoda. 4. "Dumbtard, do it for da dong...
Dunston is wearing his usual impressively slicked back body suit, except for his big, round head poking out from under the suit. He looks at you bashfully, I just got word that Dunstonania is now yours.
November 27, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Dunston is wearing his usual impressively slicked back body suit, except for his big, round head poking out from under the suit. He looks at you bashfully, I just got word that Dunstonania is now yours.
Dunston's dreams consist of his greatest desires: roast turkey legs (fried with ginseng, salt & pepper), mcdouble (mcdave, chips) + cherry lolly
November 27, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Dunston's dreams consist of his greatest desires: roast turkey legs (fried with ginseng, salt & pepper), mcdouble (mcdave, chips) + cherry lolly
"Sir, please identify yourself." Dunston looks back, "me not godda right now." "Me just... beingounty-wide, me no longer have any sway over you."
November 27, 2025 at 5:36 PM
"Sir, please identify yourself." Dunston looks back, "me not godda right now." "Me just... beingounty-wide, me no longer have any sway over you."
Dunston hasn't forgotten that cursed lever.
November 27, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Dunston hasn't forgotten that cursed lever.
Dunston thinks about politics and says "fuck! dis not the best time! god help us"
November 27, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Dunston thinks about politics and says "fuck! dis not the best time! god help us"
Dunston howls in terror. to each his own! He tried so hard and got so far, he's just something out of a dystopian novel
November 26, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Dunston howls in terror. to each his own! He tried so hard and got so far, he's just something out of a dystopian novel
Dunston cautiously peeks at you through one arm as you begin weaving through a haunted hospital hallway. He sighs and begins to walk backwards, knowing full well that you're about to do something that may or may not have dire long term consequences.
November 26, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Dunston cautiously peeks at you through one arm as you begin weaving through a haunted hospital hallway. He sighs and begins to walk backwards, knowing full well that you're about to do something that may or may not have dire long term consequences.
Dunston hasn't had time to himself dwell in mud for hours. He's made a big effort: make it to the end of the world bit by bit. He hollers over the short fence: there's gonna be a wiener bomb in a few hours
November 26, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Dunston hasn't had time to himself dwell in mud for hours. He's made a big effort: make it to the end of the world bit by bit. He hollers over the short fence: there's gonna be a wiener bomb in a few hours
Dunston gesticulates wildly before walking up to you - asking, 'do u have something in da fridge that u need dis nite bud?' his brow raises and eyes light up...
November 26, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Dunston gesticulates wildly before walking up to you - asking, 'do u have something in da fridge that u need dis nite bud?' his brow raises and eyes light up...
Dunston looks at the security camera footage from last night: It seems Dunston is always wearing a diaper ... or maybe ...
November 26, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Dunston looks at the security camera footage from last night: It seems Dunston is always wearing a diaper ... or maybe ...
Dunston is holding a small framed photo of Garfield. He's crying, and thinking about Garfield. Suddenly, he hears your voice behind him, followed immediately by the noise of his sopping wet pantleg flapping at you. "Fucker just crying" you chuckle
November 25, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Dunston is holding a small framed photo of Garfield. He's crying, and thinking about Garfield. Suddenly, he hears your voice behind him, followed immediately by the noise of his sopping wet pantleg flapping at you. "Fucker just crying" you chuckle