Dan Heilman
@danheilman.bsky.social
Coming to you from that oasis of sanity they call St. Paul, Minn.
You can almost smell the whiskey on his breath.
January 21, 2026 at 5:32 PM
You can almost smell the whiskey on his breath.
Just Bulbs, Just Shades First Air on Letterman, December 30, 1982
YouTube video by Don Giller
www.youtube.com
January 21, 2026 at 5:29 PM
They're stupid until we decide that they're criminal masterminds, then suddenly they're smart.
January 21, 2026 at 4:55 PM
They're stupid until we decide that they're criminal masterminds, then suddenly they're smart.
Yes, the thing you've been whining about every single day for the past five years is "breaking news."
January 21, 2026 at 2:13 PM
Yes, the thing you've been whining about every single day for the past five years is "breaking news."
For real, a woman down the block from me looks and sounds EXACTLY like him. About the same height, too.
January 20, 2026 at 9:03 PM
For real, a woman down the block from me looks and sounds EXACTLY like him. About the same height, too.
Big-time Mandela Effect for me! I could have sworn this was on in the background while a date and I were hanging out in her living room. Must have been another episode of that ill-fated SNL season.
January 19, 2026 at 7:45 PM
Big-time Mandela Effect for me! I could have sworn this was on in the background while a date and I were hanging out in her living room. Must have been another episode of that ill-fated SNL season.
Has it ever been explained by the Bubbling chart was dormant for seven years?
January 19, 2026 at 2:54 PM
Has it ever been explained by the Bubbling chart was dormant for seven years?
And "I Don't Want Nobody to Give Me Nothing (Open Up the Door, I'll Get it Myself)" seems like a long way of saying "Thanks, I'm good."
January 18, 2026 at 5:12 PM
And "I Don't Want Nobody to Give Me Nothing (Open Up the Door, I'll Get it Myself)" seems like a long way of saying "Thanks, I'm good."
Done in by cold weather, water balloons, and Silly String. Such alphas.
January 17, 2026 at 9:50 PM
Done in by cold weather, water balloons, and Silly String. Such alphas.
It's even more strange to make Squeeze sound like a cover band.
January 17, 2026 at 12:42 PM
It's even more strange to make Squeeze sound like a cover band.
"What happened out there today, coach?"
John McKay: Well, we didn't block. But we made up for it by not tackling.
John McKay: Well, we didn't block. But we made up for it by not tackling.
January 16, 2026 at 4:02 PM
"What happened out there today, coach?"
John McKay: Well, we didn't block. But we made up for it by not tackling.
John McKay: Well, we didn't block. But we made up for it by not tackling.
Neighbor is a SPPS reading instructor for 6-, 7-, 8-year-olds who can't spell CAT. You can't teach someone to read virtually. These poor kids can't win.
January 15, 2026 at 9:59 PM
Neighbor is a SPPS reading instructor for 6-, 7-, 8-year-olds who can't spell CAT. You can't teach someone to read virtually. These poor kids can't win.
The garbage pay customarily being offered to writers is converging with the onset of A.I. to result in online content that leaves the reader unsure whether they’re reading something created artificially or something written by a human being who’s paid a penny a word.
January 15, 2026 at 6:16 PM
The garbage pay customarily being offered to writers is converging with the onset of A.I. to result in online content that leaves the reader unsure whether they’re reading something created artificially or something written by a human being who’s paid a penny a word.
The pizza/ice cream place near Hamline and Randolph that turned out to be a drug front? Their pizza was actually pretty fantastic.
January 15, 2026 at 4:29 PM
The pizza/ice cream place near Hamline and Randolph that turned out to be a drug front? Their pizza was actually pretty fantastic.
She looks like her face caught fire and someone put it out with a golf shoe.
January 15, 2026 at 3:44 PM
She looks like her face caught fire and someone put it out with a golf shoe.
C'mon back, truckers, an' tawk t'Spider Man.
January 14, 2026 at 8:46 PM
C'mon back, truckers, an' tawk t'Spider Man.
And as the latter is an anagram of "Jim Morrison," "New Day Rising" is a properly Midwestern anagram of "dairying Swen."
January 14, 2026 at 8:29 PM
And as the latter is an anagram of "Jim Morrison," "New Day Rising" is a properly Midwestern anagram of "dairying Swen."
I guess all the tut-tutting about decorum, lowering temperatures, etc., is just for one side.
January 14, 2026 at 4:48 PM
I guess all the tut-tutting about decorum, lowering temperatures, etc., is just for one side.
The Easybeats, "Falling off the Edge of the Earth"
Roger Miller, "The Day I Jumped From Uncle Harvey's Plane"
Roger Miller, "The Day I Jumped From Uncle Harvey's Plane"
January 13, 2026 at 1:52 PM
The Easybeats, "Falling off the Edge of the Earth"
Roger Miller, "The Day I Jumped From Uncle Harvey's Plane"
Roger Miller, "The Day I Jumped From Uncle Harvey's Plane"
That Reddit link is pretty hilarious, though.
January 13, 2026 at 12:02 AM
That Reddit link is pretty hilarious, though.