Dan Heilman
@danheilman.bsky.social
Coming to you from that oasis of sanity they call St. Paul, Minn.
Not to trivialize any of what's happened, but all this talk about Jonathan Ross calls to mind this memorable moment:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOO2...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOO2...
Nirvana - Territorial Pissings - Tonight With Jonathan Ross (4K 60 FPS)
YouTube video by MusicVideos4K
www.youtube.com
January 9, 2026 at 8:23 PM
Not to trivialize any of what's happened, but all this talk about Jonathan Ross calls to mind this memorable moment:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOO2...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOO2...
Reposted by Dan Heilman
his name is Jonathan Ross and he shouldn't get a good night's sleep for the rest of his life www.startribune.com/ice-agent-wh...
Star Tribune identifies ICE agent who fatally shot woman in Minneapolis
Jonathan Ross was dragged in a separate incident last year by a fleeing driver, according to court records.
www.startribune.com
January 8, 2026 at 7:09 PM
his name is Jonathan Ross and he shouldn't get a good night's sleep for the rest of his life www.startribune.com/ice-agent-wh...
Reposted by Dan Heilman
some photos from portland and 34th today. we'll have a story up on racket soon. they gassed us, they knocked folks to the ground, and i watched agents ram a white pickup into a group of protesters, if you're wondering who was actually doing car violence.
January 7, 2026 at 8:27 PM
some photos from portland and 34th today. we'll have a story up on racket soon. they gassed us, they knocked folks to the ground, and i watched agents ram a white pickup into a group of protesters, if you're wondering who was actually doing car violence.
Reposted by Dan Heilman
Here's the ICE agent "defending himself" by shooting into the driver's side window of a car that's pulling *away* from him.
Put this photo on the front page of every newspaper in America.
Put this photo on the front page of every newspaper in America.
January 7, 2026 at 7:01 PM
Here's the ICE agent "defending himself" by shooting into the driver's side window of a car that's pulling *away* from him.
Put this photo on the front page of every newspaper in America.
Put this photo on the front page of every newspaper in America.
Reposted by Dan Heilman
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier
January 3, 2026 at 10:57 PM
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier
Reposted by Dan Heilman
people act like driving out very rich people with extremely high marginal tax rates is bad but it’s why we have “exile on main street,” so
January 2, 2026 at 6:03 PM
people act like driving out very rich people with extremely high marginal tax rates is bad but it’s why we have “exile on main street,” so
If a guy wanted to, a guy could spend more than three hours on New Year's Eve listening to the various recordings of Bob Dylan performing "Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat" in 1966.
December 31, 2025 at 11:54 PM
If a guy wanted to, a guy could spend more than three hours on New Year's Eve listening to the various recordings of Bob Dylan performing "Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat" in 1966.
Reposted by Dan Heilman
Kalen Dion is not wrong. 😳👇
December 27, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Kalen Dion is not wrong. 😳👇
I love how English record buyers of the ‘70s were cool enough that they helped T. Rex, 10cc, and Suzi Quatro have #1 singles…and square enough to do the same thing on behalf of Benny Hill, Telly Savales, and Little Jimmy Osmond.
December 22, 2025 at 5:06 PM
I love how English record buyers of the ‘70s were cool enough that they helped T. Rex, 10cc, and Suzi Quatro have #1 singles…and square enough to do the same thing on behalf of Benny Hill, Telly Savales, and Little Jimmy Osmond.
Reposted by Dan Heilman
Pretty sure I've *never* had to apologize for being white, but then again I can't recall doing anything that drew attention to that other than occasionally clapping on the 1 and 3.
JD Vance: "In the United States of America you don't have to apologize for being white anymore"
December 22, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Pretty sure I've *never* had to apologize for being white, but then again I can't recall doing anything that drew attention to that other than occasionally clapping on the 1 and 3.
Reposted by Dan Heilman
"Don't Worry, Be Happy" sounds like it was meticulously created in a lab to be as annoying as possible.
Facile, simple-minded sentiment? Check.
Gimmicky presentation via the acapella vocal overdubs? Check.
Sing it in a bogus Jamaican accent? Eureka! We've devised a perfectly irritating song.
Facile, simple-minded sentiment? Check.
Gimmicky presentation via the acapella vocal overdubs? Check.
Sing it in a bogus Jamaican accent? Eureka! We've devised a perfectly irritating song.
December 5, 2025 at 1:39 PM
"Don't Worry, Be Happy" sounds like it was meticulously created in a lab to be as annoying as possible.
Facile, simple-minded sentiment? Check.
Gimmicky presentation via the acapella vocal overdubs? Check.
Sing it in a bogus Jamaican accent? Eureka! We've devised a perfectly irritating song.
Facile, simple-minded sentiment? Check.
Gimmicky presentation via the acapella vocal overdubs? Check.
Sing it in a bogus Jamaican accent? Eureka! We've devised a perfectly irritating song.
Reposted by Dan Heilman
my dog: *being treated in such a way that shame has been placed on his bloodline for one thousand years*
me: ok bud now let me wipe your other paw
me: ok bud now let me wipe your other paw
December 1, 2025 at 10:41 AM
my dog: *being treated in such a way that shame has been placed on his bloodline for one thousand years*
me: ok bud now let me wipe your other paw
me: ok bud now let me wipe your other paw
...5 concerts (and why they were notable)
Johnny Cash (age 6 -- me, not him)
Bruce Springsteen (first 'Born in the USA' show)
Prince (Chick Huntsberry fundraiser at Rupert's)
Freedy Johnston (jumped off the stage to punch a heckler)
Deer Tick (singer dropped his pants and played with himself)
Johnny Cash (age 6 -- me, not him)
Bruce Springsteen (first 'Born in the USA' show)
Prince (Chick Huntsberry fundraiser at Rupert's)
Freedy Johnston (jumped off the stage to punch a heckler)
Deer Tick (singer dropped his pants and played with himself)
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you’ve seen
Bob Seger/Molly Hatchet
Pete Seeger
U2 (nightclub)
Prince (Purple Rain debut)
Police/Go-Go's (arena)
Bob Seger/Molly Hatchet
Pete Seeger
U2 (nightclub)
Prince (Purple Rain debut)
Police/Go-Go's (arena)
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you’ve seen
Cyndi Lauper
Guns n Roses / Skid Row
Queensryche
Roxette
Veruca Salt
Cyndi Lauper
Guns n Roses / Skid Row
Queensryche
Roxette
Veruca Salt
November 28, 2025 at 3:00 PM
...5 concerts (and why they were notable)
Johnny Cash (age 6 -- me, not him)
Bruce Springsteen (first 'Born in the USA' show)
Prince (Chick Huntsberry fundraiser at Rupert's)
Freedy Johnston (jumped off the stage to punch a heckler)
Deer Tick (singer dropped his pants and played with himself)
Johnny Cash (age 6 -- me, not him)
Bruce Springsteen (first 'Born in the USA' show)
Prince (Chick Huntsberry fundraiser at Rupert's)
Freedy Johnston (jumped off the stage to punch a heckler)
Deer Tick (singer dropped his pants and played with himself)
Top 5 Side 1, Track 1s
1. Bruce Springsteen, "Thunder Road" (Born to Run)
2. Elvis Costello, "Accidents Will Happen" (Armed Forces)
3. Cheap Trick, "Surrender" (Heaven Tonight)
4. Mott the Hoople, "All the Way From Memphis" (Mott)
5. Elliott Smith, "Son of Sam" (Figure 8)
1. Bruce Springsteen, "Thunder Road" (Born to Run)
2. Elvis Costello, "Accidents Will Happen" (Armed Forces)
3. Cheap Trick, "Surrender" (Heaven Tonight)
4. Mott the Hoople, "All the Way From Memphis" (Mott)
5. Elliott Smith, "Son of Sam" (Figure 8)
November 26, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Top 5 Side 1, Track 1s
1. Bruce Springsteen, "Thunder Road" (Born to Run)
2. Elvis Costello, "Accidents Will Happen" (Armed Forces)
3. Cheap Trick, "Surrender" (Heaven Tonight)
4. Mott the Hoople, "All the Way From Memphis" (Mott)
5. Elliott Smith, "Son of Sam" (Figure 8)
1. Bruce Springsteen, "Thunder Road" (Born to Run)
2. Elvis Costello, "Accidents Will Happen" (Armed Forces)
3. Cheap Trick, "Surrender" (Heaven Tonight)
4. Mott the Hoople, "All the Way From Memphis" (Mott)
5. Elliott Smith, "Son of Sam" (Figure 8)
Reposted by Dan Heilman
Maybe putting a dozen narcissistic poser Fox hosts in charge of sprawling federal agencies with millions of combined employees and vastly important responsibilities with enormous power wasn’t the greatest plan.
November 24, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Maybe putting a dozen narcissistic poser Fox hosts in charge of sprawling federal agencies with millions of combined employees and vastly important responsibilities with enormous power wasn’t the greatest plan.
A movie that takes place (in part) where you're from.
November 24, 2025 at 12:17 PM
A movie that takes place (in part) where you're from.
Reposted by Dan Heilman
I had not previously considered that Jeff Bezos might be in the Epstein files. This decision confirms to me beyond doubt that he is
The Washington Post editorial board decided the Epstein files have “no public interest” before even seeing them. That’s a stunning position for any newsroom to take. Praising Clay Higgins as the lone ‘no’ vote, too? No wonder no one trusts legacy media. Absolutely disgusting.
November 22, 2025 at 7:49 PM
I had not previously considered that Jeff Bezos might be in the Epstein files. This decision confirms to me beyond doubt that he is
In anticipation of Sunday's border battle, here's a badder Bortles. www.youtube.com/watch?v=iA4D...
Blake Bortles 2018 lowlight reel
YouTube video by K Rowland
www.youtube.com
November 21, 2025 at 8:06 PM
In anticipation of Sunday's border battle, here's a badder Bortles. www.youtube.com/watch?v=iA4D...
I'm eager to know who's absolutely thrilled with the 'Let it Be' deluxe thingie. The live disc is a dismal audience recording, and I count only seven outtakes/other leftovers that haven't been released already. Let this nice little band die already.
November 21, 2025 at 8:01 PM
I'm eager to know who's absolutely thrilled with the 'Let it Be' deluxe thingie. The live disc is a dismal audience recording, and I count only seven outtakes/other leftovers that haven't been released already. Let this nice little band die already.
Reposted by Dan Heilman
If you’ve a survivor you already know how disorienting, humiliating, and crazy-making it is. Seeing it done publicly, on a world stage, is actually helping millions of survivors and therapists say: “See? That’s what it looks like. You’re not imagining it. You’re not ‘too sensitive.’ This is abuse.”
November 19, 2025 at 1:31 PM
If you’ve a survivor you already know how disorienting, humiliating, and crazy-making it is. Seeing it done publicly, on a world stage, is actually helping millions of survivors and therapists say: “See? That’s what it looks like. You’re not imagining it. You’re not ‘too sensitive.’ This is abuse.”
Reposted by Dan Heilman
years ago, I did some art for Hollywood Records, which was part of Disney - when the AD kept ignoring my invoices, I started repeatedly faxing (that's how long ago this was) a cartoon of myself with Mickey Mouse in a choke hold, holding a gun to his head. They Fed-Exed the check the next day.
Which reminds me of my favorite aggrieved freelancer story of all time: In the late '90s, when a writer set up a tent in the lobby of Bob Guccione's Gear magazine and refused to leave until his long overdue invoice was paid. It worked! Hero!
I'd freekin' show up in person!!
November 19, 2025 at 3:23 AM
years ago, I did some art for Hollywood Records, which was part of Disney - when the AD kept ignoring my invoices, I started repeatedly faxing (that's how long ago this was) a cartoon of myself with Mickey Mouse in a choke hold, holding a gun to his head. They Fed-Exed the check the next day.
Reposted by Dan Heilman
a new study finds that there is enough microplastic in your nads to make a little army guy. whats worse is that its the guy with the radio so he doesnt even have a gun. and he has a bunch of extra plastic along the seam on the bottom so he keeps falling over.
November 18, 2025 at 4:55 PM
a new study finds that there is enough microplastic in your nads to make a little army guy. whats worse is that its the guy with the radio so he doesnt even have a gun. and he has a bunch of extra plastic along the seam on the bottom so he keeps falling over.
Reposted by Dan Heilman
Ken Burns documentaries always feel like you're coming in at a random point of a perpetual Ken Burns documentary that's been playing for 30 years.
November 17, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Ken Burns documentaries always feel like you're coming in at a random point of a perpetual Ken Burns documentary that's been playing for 30 years.
Reposted by Dan Heilman
My narcissism recovery is going so well we made a TV show about it
November 6, 2025 at 2:52 PM
My narcissism recovery is going so well we made a TV show about it