Just Dan for now
@danielfsmith.bsky.social
Architect because art pays for shit
Venezuelan opposition leader, María Corina Machado, just won the Nobel Peace Prize, and we just stole an oil tanker and are threatening to invade her country. You cannot make this shit up.
December 11, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Venezuelan opposition leader, María Corina Machado, just won the Nobel Peace Prize, and we just stole an oil tanker and are threatening to invade her country. You cannot make this shit up.
When we eventually have to storm the government to take it back from these criminals, I’m gonna need to borrow a gun. I only own Nerf guns.
December 10, 2025 at 11:38 PM
When we eventually have to storm the government to take it back from these criminals, I’m gonna need to borrow a gun. I only own Nerf guns.
Trump is ‘the Captain now’ and this ship is going down, FAST.
December 10, 2025 at 11:36 PM
Trump is ‘the Captain now’ and this ship is going down, FAST.
This is the moment American media can either stand up to this dictator or just fold, like laundry. Our country’s future depends on these few people to stand up and do the right thing… We are fucked.
December 10, 2025 at 11:34 PM
This is the moment American media can either stand up to this dictator or just fold, like laundry. Our country’s future depends on these few people to stand up and do the right thing… We are fucked.
The US has really fallen. We used to fake evidence of WMD’s and have hearings before we straight up invaded a country and take their oil against their will. Now we are just pirates and not even the drunk and fun kind.
December 10, 2025 at 11:30 PM
The US has really fallen. We used to fake evidence of WMD’s and have hearings before we straight up invaded a country and take their oil against their will. Now we are just pirates and not even the drunk and fun kind.
I will now be switching all my contracts to ‘Calibri’, the wokest font since Helvetica.
December 10, 2025 at 4:40 AM
I will now be switching all my contracts to ‘Calibri’, the wokest font since Helvetica.
I go to a place for cheap coffee every morning. Today’s interaction: ‘do the fries really taste like pickles?’ ‘Man, how the fuck would I know. I hate pickles. I hear they taste like shit. All right, have a nice day.’
December 10, 2025 at 4:37 AM
I go to a place for cheap coffee every morning. Today’s interaction: ‘do the fries really taste like pickles?’ ‘Man, how the fuck would I know. I hate pickles. I hear they taste like shit. All right, have a nice day.’
Phillip Rivers signing with the Colts at age 44, raised the overall testosterone level in America of males over 40 more than anything Doug Flutie is peddling.
December 10, 2025 at 4:27 AM
Phillip Rivers signing with the Colts at age 44, raised the overall testosterone level in America of males over 40 more than anything Doug Flutie is peddling.
You know you have a shitty retirement plan when you get genuinely mad at yourself for not buying a lottery ticket.
December 10, 2025 at 4:24 AM
You know you have a shitty retirement plan when you get genuinely mad at yourself for not buying a lottery ticket.
So… I was thinking something and then I heard it out loud, and I thought it was ‘weird’ to ‘hear it,’ and then I realized an inside thought ‘got out’ and I hope the job market is strong. Crossing fingers.
December 10, 2025 at 4:22 AM
So… I was thinking something and then I heard it out loud, and I thought it was ‘weird’ to ‘hear it,’ and then I realized an inside thought ‘got out’ and I hope the job market is strong. Crossing fingers.
I need help finding Paul Dano masks for Halloween next year, or Tarantino’s next film opening, or whatever.
December 10, 2025 at 2:15 AM
I need help finding Paul Dano masks for Halloween next year, or Tarantino’s next film opening, or whatever.
Due to my lactose intolerance, I have been more ‘fartsy’ than ‘artsy’ lately and I do apologize.
December 9, 2025 at 11:59 PM
Due to my lactose intolerance, I have been more ‘fartsy’ than ‘artsy’ lately and I do apologize.
The moment Tesla finishes their battery factories, I hope there is some revolutionary science that makes that design obsolete and all the factories worthless immediately. Just for kicks, ya know?
December 9, 2025 at 11:50 PM
The moment Tesla finishes their battery factories, I hope there is some revolutionary science that makes that design obsolete and all the factories worthless immediately. Just for kicks, ya know?
Dear LA Dodgers, baseball for 2026 has been cancelled. You guys can go to spring training in 2027. Have fun and don’t turn on any TV’s or watch anything on your phone, k, thanks. Bye!
December 9, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Dear LA Dodgers, baseball for 2026 has been cancelled. You guys can go to spring training in 2027. Have fun and don’t turn on any TV’s or watch anything on your phone, k, thanks. Bye!
Jalen Hurts makes 2 turnovers in one play. That sentence will end any argument about him being an elite quarterback for the rest of time. Like how you can’t say Mark Sanchez without ‘butt fumble’.
December 9, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Jalen Hurts makes 2 turnovers in one play. That sentence will end any argument about him being an elite quarterback for the rest of time. Like how you can’t say Mark Sanchez without ‘butt fumble’.
I saw a kid swirl strawberry preserves into some plain yogurt and I will never buy flavored yogurt again. I just never thought about it.
December 9, 2025 at 11:00 PM
I saw a kid swirl strawberry preserves into some plain yogurt and I will never buy flavored yogurt again. I just never thought about it.
It would be nice if a WH pool reporter can sneak in a small lamp and light it when they start gas-lighting us into believing their bullshit. I just want the visual.
December 9, 2025 at 10:59 PM
It would be nice if a WH pool reporter can sneak in a small lamp and light it when they start gas-lighting us into believing their bullshit. I just want the visual.
In 2027, my new plastic surgery office will specialize in reversing ‘Mar-A-Lago’ face. Make your appointment now. We expect all slots to be full by late fall 2026.
December 9, 2025 at 12:57 AM
In 2027, my new plastic surgery office will specialize in reversing ‘Mar-A-Lago’ face. Make your appointment now. We expect all slots to be full by late fall 2026.
Dear Dems: there will be no accountability. It won’t happen. Not now, not ever. The best revenge at this point is a life well lived or something else my therapist says.
December 9, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Dear Dems: there will be no accountability. It won’t happen. Not now, not ever. The best revenge at this point is a life well lived or something else my therapist says.
If Philip Rivers leads the Colts to the playoffs, I will start researching time machines immediately.
December 9, 2025 at 12:35 AM
If Philip Rivers leads the Colts to the playoffs, I will start researching time machines immediately.
Coffee with a straight woman who drives a Subaru would fix me.
December 9, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Coffee with a straight woman who drives a Subaru would fix me.
Dear Trump: I am your enemy and would be fine being on any of your enemies lists. Since you have dementia, you won’t remember this anyway.
December 8, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Dear Trump: I am your enemy and would be fine being on any of your enemies lists. Since you have dementia, you won’t remember this anyway.
I am just waiting on Trump to put Notre Dame and BYU back in the playoffs since he thinks Christians are his voting base.
December 8, 2025 at 7:07 PM
I am just waiting on Trump to put Notre Dame and BYU back in the playoffs since he thinks Christians are his voting base.
For everyone complaining about a committee screwing over Notre Dame, please look up what happened to undefeated Penn State in 1993.
December 8, 2025 at 4:41 PM
For everyone complaining about a committee screwing over Notre Dame, please look up what happened to undefeated Penn State in 1993.
The Chiefs will miss the playoffs. No sweeter words since: the Patriots will miss the playoffs.
December 8, 2025 at 4:36 AM
The Chiefs will miss the playoffs. No sweeter words since: the Patriots will miss the playoffs.