Darla Louise Jenkins
@darlasez.com
I’m Darla Louise Jenkins—your self-declared “emotional support hairdresser,” With a heart full of drama and a purse full of Fireball minis,
https://bub.bz/FqJds
https://bub.bz/FqJds
Dear Darla, I tried wearing a corset on a date and passed out into my pasta. He said it was “cute.” Is this a red flag?
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Face-Planting in the Fettuccine: Why Your Coma is His Aphrodisiac
Dear Darla, I tried wearing a corset on a date and passed out into my pasta. He said it was “cute.” Is this a red flag? Look, if a man thinks your near-death experience is adorable, he’s either a…
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February 18, 2026 at 12:15 AM
Dear Darla, I tried wearing a corset on a date and passed out into my pasta. He said it was “cute.” Is this a red flag?
Read Darla's Full Advice: buff.ly/l3kWVAl
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Dear Darla, I tried to cook breakfast naked and burned my boob on bacon grease. My boyfriend wants to “kiss it better.” Should I allow it?
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Fried Tatas and Saliva: Why Bacon Grease Ain’t Lube and He Ain’t a Doctor
Dear Darla, I tried to cook breakfast naked and burned my boob on bacon grease. My boyfriend wants to “kiss it better.” Should I allow it? If a man is willing to kiss a burn blister that smells like…
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February 16, 2026 at 11:02 PM
Dear Darla, I tried to cook breakfast naked and burned my boob on bacon grease. My boyfriend wants to “kiss it better.” Should I allow it?
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Dear Darla, My aunt dared me to enter a wet T-shirt contest and I won because everyone else forfeited when lightning struck. Am I talented or cursed?
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Electric Boogaloo: Why God Loves a Winner Even When He Tries to Fry the Competition
Dear Darla, My aunt dared me to enter a wet T-shirt contest and I won because everyone else forfeited when lightning struck. Am I talented or cursed? Look, honey, a win is a win, whether it comes…
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February 15, 2026 at 2:11 PM
Dear Darla, My aunt dared me to enter a wet T-shirt contest and I won because everyone else forfeited when lightning struck. Am I talented or cursed?
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Dear Darla, I fell asleep on a pool float at a party and drifted into the neighbor’s yard. They thought I washed up from a flood. Should I explain?
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The Miracle of the Pink Flamingo: How to Turn a Blackout into a Biblical Event
Dear Darla, I fell asleep on a pool float at a party and drifted into the neighbor’s yard. They thought I washed up from a flood. Should I explain? Look, sugar, the only thing you need to explain is…
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February 15, 2026 at 12:00 AM
Dear Darla, I fell asleep on a pool float at a party and drifted into the neighbor’s yard. They thought I washed up from a flood. Should I explain?
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Dear Darla, I dressed up in a candy heart costume that said I LUV YOU wearing nothing underneath. All my boyfriend said was, ‘That’s nice… you got the rent?’ Is romance dead or am I just dating my landlord?
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February 14, 2026 at 1:45 PM
Dear Darla, I dressed up in a candy heart costume that said I LUV YOU wearing nothing underneath. All my boyfriend said was, ‘That’s nice… you got the rent?’ Is romance dead or am I just dating my landlord?
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Dear Darla, I tried to make a sexy TikTok but slipped on a pork chop and face-planted into a laundry basket. Now I’m on a fail compilation. Do I claim it or deny?
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Pork Chop Poltergeists and Viral Shame: Why You Should Always Monetize Your Dignity
Dear Darla, I tried to make a sexy TikTok but slipped on a pork chop and face-planted into a laundry basket. Now I’m on a fail compilation. Do I claim it or deny? Listen to me, sugar: shame is just…
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February 14, 2026 at 2:36 AM
Dear Darla, I tried to make a sexy TikTok but slipped on a pork chop and face-planted into a laundry basket. Now I’m on a fail compilation. Do I claim it or deny?
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Dear Darla, I went mudding on a first date and lost my bra somewhere in the forest. A hunter returned it the next day. Should I thank him?
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Camo Cinderella: Why a Man Tracking Down Your Lingerie is the Ultimate Redneck Meet-Cute
Dear Darla, I went mudding on a first date and lost my bra somewhere in the forest. A hunter returned it the next day. Should I thank him? Look, finding a man who can track a bra through the…
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February 13, 2026 at 12:50 AM
Dear Darla, I went mudding on a first date and lost my bra somewhere in the forest. A hunter returned it the next day. Should I thank him?
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Dear Darla, I got drunk and challenged my ex’s new girlfriend to an arm wrestling match. I won, but now her mama wants a rematch. Should I train?
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The Bicep-Flexing Ex-Factor: Why You Should Never Wrestle a Mama Bear Sober
Dear Darla, I got drunk and challenged my ex’s new girlfriend to an arm wrestling match. I won, but now her mama wants a rematch. Should I train? Listen to me, sugar: do not hit the gym, hit the…
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February 12, 2026 at 1:40 AM
Dear Darla, I got drunk and challenged my ex’s new girlfriend to an arm wrestling match. I won, but now her mama wants a rematch. Should I train?
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Dear Darla, I thought a man was winking at me at the grocery store, but he had something in his eye. I gave him my number. Should I move states?
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Winks, Twitches, and Produce Aisle Predatory Behavior: Why Shame is Just a State of Mind
Dear Darla, I thought a man was winking at me at the grocery store, but he had something in his eye. I gave him my number. Should I move states? Absolutely not, sugar—you just asserted dominance in…
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February 11, 2026 at 12:15 AM
Dear Darla, I thought a man was winking at me at the grocery store, but he had something in his eye. I gave him my number. Should I move states?
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Dear Darla, I let my friends convince me to try speed dating but I got drunk and pitched myself like a used car salesman. I may have offered warranties. Do I hide?
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Certified Pre-Owned and Ready to Ride: Why Your Drunk Sales Pitch Was Actually Genius
Dear Darla, I let my friends convince me to try speed dating but I got drunk and pitched myself like a used car salesman. I may have offered warranties. Do I hide? Listen to me, you beautiful…
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February 9, 2026 at 11:02 PM
Dear Darla, I let my friends convince me to try speed dating but I got drunk and pitched myself like a used car salesman. I may have offered warranties. Do I hide?
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Dear Darla, I screamed ‘LET’S GOOOO’ so hard during the Super Bowl I scared the dog, spilled my drink, and farted like a foghorn. Is that team spirit or a medical event?
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Touchdowns, Tailgates, and Trousers: Why Your Body Just Pulled a False Start
Dear Darla, I screamed ‘LET’S GOOOO’ so hard during the Super Bowl I scared the dog, spilled my drink, and farted like a foghorn. Is that team spirit or a medical event? Look, if you ain't risking a…
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February 8, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Dear Darla, I screamed ‘LET’S GOOOO’ so hard during the Super Bowl I scared the dog, spilled my drink, and farted like a foghorn. Is that team spirit or a medical event?
Read Darla's Full Advice: bub.bz/giic9
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Dear Darla, I got tipsy at Lowe’s and flirted with a man in the lumber aisle. Turns out he was a cardboard display. Should I get glasses or a therapist?
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Lumber Lust and Laser Eye Surgery: Why the Best Man in Lowe’s Was Flat, Silent, and Made of Recycled Paper
Dear Darla, I got tipsy at Lowe’s and flirted with a man in the lumber aisle. Turns out he was a cardboard display. Should I get glasses or a therapist? Honey, don't you dare fix your eyes or your…
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February 8, 2026 at 2:11 PM
Dear Darla, I got tipsy at Lowe’s and flirted with a man in the lumber aisle. Turns out he was a cardboard display. Should I get glasses or a therapist?
Read Darla's Full Advice: buff.ly/uhIBpCE
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Dear Darla, I bought a push-up bra so intense it launched my cleavage into my chin. Should I return it or weaponize it?
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When Your Cup Runneth Over and Hits You in the Face: A Guide to Tactical Lingerie
Dear Darla, I bought a push-up bra so intense it launched my cleavage into my chin. Should I return it or weaponize it? In short, honey, you never surrender a weapon that can stop traffic or start a…
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February 7, 2026 at 1:29 PM
Dear Darla, I bought a push-up bra so intense it launched my cleavage into my chin. Should I return it or weaponize it?
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Dear Darla, I put on self-tanner after drinking wine and now I look like a Dorito. My boyfriend won’t stop humming mariachi music. Do I exfoliate or throw him out?
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Orange You Glad You Didn’t Marry Him Yet?
Dear Darla, I put on self-tanner after drinking wine and now I look like a Dorito. My boyfriend won’t stop humming mariachi music. Do I exfoliate or throw him out? Honey, never scrub away your…
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February 7, 2026 at 2:36 AM
Dear Darla, I put on self-tanner after drinking wine and now I look like a Dorito. My boyfriend won’t stop humming mariachi music. Do I exfoliate or throw him out?
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Dear Darla, I tried to send a flirty selfie but forgot my cat was in the background licking itself aggressively. My crush hasn’t replied. Should I follow up?
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Accidental Kitty Porn and the Art of the Double-Down: Why Your Cat Has More Game Than You Do
Dear Darla, I tried to send a flirty selfie but forgot my cat was in the background licking itself aggressively. My crush hasn’t replied. Should I follow up? Look, sugar, if you’re gonna fail, fail…
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February 6, 2026 at 12:50 AM
Dear Darla, I tried to send a flirty selfie but forgot my cat was in the background licking itself aggressively. My crush hasn’t replied. Should I follow up?
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Dear Darla, I accidentally joined a conga line at a wedding that ended in a group baptism. I’m not fully sure I consented. Am I saved now?
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Conga Lines, Holy Water, and Other Hazards of an Open Bar
Dear Darla, I accidentally joined a conga line at a wedding that ended in a group baptism. I’m not fully sure I consented. Am I saved now? Look, getting dunked while dancing doesn't make you a saint,…
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February 5, 2026 at 1:40 AM
Dear Darla, I accidentally joined a conga line at a wedding that ended in a group baptism. I’m not fully sure I consented. Am I saved now?
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Dear Darla, I sent my boyfriend a naughty photo but forgot to crop out my tax returns in the background. Now he knows I lied about my refund. What do I do?
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The IRS Ain’t the Only Thing Screwing You This Year, Honey
Dear Darla, I sent my boyfriend a naughty photo but forgot to crop out my tax returns in the background. Now he knows I lied about my refund. What do I do? The lesson here is that if a man is looking…
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February 4, 2026 at 12:15 AM
Dear Darla, I sent my boyfriend a naughty photo but forgot to crop out my tax returns in the background. Now he knows I lied about my refund. What do I do?
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Dear Darla, I fell asleep in the sun with my sunglasses on and now I look like a reverse panda. My boyfriend can’t stop laughing. Should I dump him?
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Raccoon Eyes, Redneck Romeos, and Why You Should Never Trust the Sun After Three Wine Coolers
Dear Darla, I fell asleep in the sun with my sunglasses on and now I look like a reverse panda. My boyfriend can’t stop laughing. Should I dump him? Listen honey, if you can't laugh at yourself, at…
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February 2, 2026 at 11:02 PM
Dear Darla, I fell asleep in the sun with my sunglasses on and now I look like a reverse panda. My boyfriend can’t stop laughing. Should I dump him?
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Dear Darla, it’s Groundhog Day and my life feels like that movie except nobody’s learning lessons just drinking earlier and wearing worse jackets. If I kidnap the groundhog and hide him, will time move forward or do I go to jail?
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February 2, 2026 at 12:01 PM
Dear Darla, it’s Groundhog Day and my life feels like that movie except nobody’s learning lessons just drinking earlier and wearing worse jackets. If I kidnap the groundhog and hide him, will time move forward or do I go to jail?
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Dear Darla, I got caught skinny dipping in a fishing pond and now a local angler claims he “almost caught me.” Do I apologize or demand royalties?
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Hook, Line, and Sinker: Why You Should Never Apologize for Being the Best Catch in the Pond
Dear Darla, I got caught skinny dipping in a fishing pond and now a local angler claims he “almost caught me.” Do I apologize or demand royalties? Here is the bottom line, sugar: never say sorry for…
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February 1, 2026 at 2:11 PM
Dear Darla, I got caught skinny dipping in a fishing pond and now a local angler claims he “almost caught me.” Do I apologize or demand royalties?
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Dear Darla, I drunkenly ordered new furniture and accidentally bought a coffin coffee table. My boyfriend loves it too much. Should I worry?
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Honey, If He Likes That Casket Too Much, Check Your Life Insurance Policy
Dear Darla, I drunkenly ordered new furniture and accidentally bought a coffin coffee table. My boyfriend loves it too much. Should I worry? Look, honey, if your man is eyeing that box with anything…
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January 31, 2026 at 1:29 PM
Dear Darla, I drunkenly ordered new furniture and accidentally bought a coffin coffee table. My boyfriend loves it too much. Should I worry?
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Dear Darla, I tried to join a pottery class and accidentally made something the instructor called “deeply erotic.” It was supposed to be a vase. Should I sell it or repent?
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Honey, If Your Vase Needs a Censor Bar, You Just Found Your New Side Hustle
Dear Darla, I tried to join a pottery class and accidentally made something the instructor called “deeply erotic.” It was supposed to be a vase. Should I sell it or repent? Look, if you accidentally…
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January 31, 2026 at 2:36 AM
Dear Darla, I tried to join a pottery class and accidentally made something the instructor called “deeply erotic.” It was supposed to be a vase. Should I sell it or repent?
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Dear Darla, I fell asleep in the tanning bed with a wine cooler in my hand. Now I’ve got a perfect outline of Bartles & Jaymes on my thigh. Do I laugh it off or start charging admission?
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Tan Lines, Cheap Wines, and Why That Bartles & Jaymes Stain is High Art
Dear Darla, I fell asleep in the tanning bed with a wine cooler in my hand. Now I’ve got a perfect outline of Bartles & Jaymes on my thigh. Do I laugh it off or start charging admission? Look, honey,…
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January 30, 2026 at 12:50 AM
Dear Darla, I fell asleep in the tanning bed with a wine cooler in my hand. Now I’ve got a perfect outline of Bartles & Jaymes on my thigh. Do I laugh it off or start charging admission?
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Dear Darla, A man at the bar told me his name was “Ranger.” Turns out it’s because he works at the state park and not for sexy reasons. Should I still date him?
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Why Dating a Man in Uniform is Worth the Tick Checks (and Safer Than My Ex Bufurd)
Dear Darla, A man at the bar told me his name was “Ranger.” Turns out it’s because he works at the state park and not for sexy reasons. Should I still date him? Look, honey, a man with a steady…
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January 29, 2026 at 1:40 AM
Dear Darla, A man at the bar told me his name was “Ranger.” Turns out it’s because he works at the state park and not for sexy reasons. Should I still date him?
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Dear Darla, I volunteered to sing at a wedding but got hammered on Bartles & Jaymes beforehand. I ended up slow dancing with the groom’s grandma while belting out “Baby Got Back.” Do I apologize or send flowers?
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Sir Mix-A-Lot Meets Meemaw: Why Your Wedding Apology Should Be A Framed Photo And A Bottle Of Boone’s Farm
Dear Darla, I volunteered to sing at a wedding but got hammered on Bartles & Jaymes beforehand. I ended up slow dancing with the groom’s grandma while belting out “Baby Got Back.” Do I apologize or…
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January 28, 2026 at 12:15 AM
Dear Darla, I volunteered to sing at a wedding but got hammered on Bartles & Jaymes beforehand. I ended up slow dancing with the groom’s grandma while belting out “Baby Got Back.” Do I apologize or send flowers?
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