Darlene Lancer, LMFT
@darlene-lancer.bsky.social
Expert on relationships, NPD, and recovery, a Marriage and Family Therapist and author of 11 books, including Unfettered Soul, Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist, Codependency for Dummies, & Conquering Shame. Get FREE Letting Go Tips bit.ly/MN2jSG
The Dance of Intimacy
The relationship duet is the dance of intimacy that all couples do. One partner moves in, the other backs up. Partners may reverse roles, but always maintain a certain space between them.
Check: tinyurl.com/2rkkf9a3
#Anxious #Style #Autonomy #Avoidant #BreakUps #Codependency
The relationship duet is the dance of intimacy that all couples do. One partner moves in, the other backs up. Partners may reverse roles, but always maintain a certain space between them.
Check: tinyurl.com/2rkkf9a3
#Anxious #Style #Autonomy #Avoidant #BreakUps #Codependency
November 30, 2025 at 4:48 PM
The Dance of Intimacy
The relationship duet is the dance of intimacy that all couples do. One partner moves in, the other backs up. Partners may reverse roles, but always maintain a certain space between them.
Check: tinyurl.com/2rkkf9a3
#Anxious #Style #Autonomy #Avoidant #BreakUps #Codependency
The relationship duet is the dance of intimacy that all couples do. One partner moves in, the other backs up. Partners may reverse roles, but always maintain a certain space between them.
Check: tinyurl.com/2rkkf9a3
#Anxious #Style #Autonomy #Avoidant #BreakUps #Codependency
Spiritual Transformation in the Twelve Steps
The Twelve Steps of Twelve-Step programs can be used to attain spiritual transformation and unshackle the true self from the constraints of the ego.
Check: shorturl.at/J7fwT
#12Steps #AlAnon #AlcoholicsAnonymous #Books #CarlJung #Coda #SpiritualTrans
The Twelve Steps of Twelve-Step programs can be used to attain spiritual transformation and unshackle the true self from the constraints of the ego.
Check: shorturl.at/J7fwT
#12Steps #AlAnon #AlcoholicsAnonymous #Books #CarlJung #Coda #SpiritualTrans
November 23, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Spiritual Transformation in the Twelve Steps
The Twelve Steps of Twelve-Step programs can be used to attain spiritual transformation and unshackle the true self from the constraints of the ego.
Check: shorturl.at/J7fwT
#12Steps #AlAnon #AlcoholicsAnonymous #Books #CarlJung #Coda #SpiritualTrans
The Twelve Steps of Twelve-Step programs can be used to attain spiritual transformation and unshackle the true self from the constraints of the ego.
Check: shorturl.at/J7fwT
#12Steps #AlAnon #AlcoholicsAnonymous #Books #CarlJung #Coda #SpiritualTrans
Standing up to abuse is hard, even when we know we should, if we’ve been conditioned by childhood trauma to freeze, fawn, or collapse. This is confirmed by research, my own experience, and therapeutic work with clients.
Read more: tinyurl.com/3mbj6zf4
#TraumaRecovery #Trauma #AbusiveRelationship
Read more: tinyurl.com/3mbj6zf4
#TraumaRecovery #Trauma #AbusiveRelationship
November 8, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Standing up to abuse is hard, even when we know we should, if we’ve been conditioned by childhood trauma to freeze, fawn, or collapse. This is confirmed by research, my own experience, and therapeutic work with clients.
Read more: tinyurl.com/3mbj6zf4
#TraumaRecovery #Trauma #AbusiveRelationship
Read more: tinyurl.com/3mbj6zf4
#TraumaRecovery #Trauma #AbusiveRelationship
Trauma in childhood leads to #shame, #codependency, and low #selfesteem. "How to Be Assertive" bit.ly/29OAWWW whatiscodependency.com/product/how-... and "How to Raise Your Self-Esteem" bit.ly/2I4yFIN #trauma #recovery #mentalhealth #psychology #PTSD #CPTSD
October 13, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Trauma in childhood leads to #shame, #codependency, and low #selfesteem. "How to Be Assertive" bit.ly/29OAWWW whatiscodependency.com/product/how-... and "How to Raise Your Self-Esteem" bit.ly/2I4yFIN #trauma #recovery #mentalhealth #psychology #PTSD #CPTSD
Losing Your Power in Narcissistic Relationships
The core problem in narcissistic relationships is that they prioritize power and sacrifice the relationship to get it, while their partners prioritize the relationship and sacrifice themselves to keep it
#Codependency #Narcissism #Dating #Abandonment
The core problem in narcissistic relationships is that they prioritize power and sacrifice the relationship to get it, while their partners prioritize the relationship and sacrifice themselves to keep it
#Codependency #Narcissism #Dating #Abandonment
October 11, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Losing Your Power in Narcissistic Relationships
The core problem in narcissistic relationships is that they prioritize power and sacrifice the relationship to get it, while their partners prioritize the relationship and sacrifice themselves to keep it
#Codependency #Narcissism #Dating #Abandonment
The core problem in narcissistic relationships is that they prioritize power and sacrifice the relationship to get it, while their partners prioritize the relationship and sacrifice themselves to keep it
#Codependency #Narcissism #Dating #Abandonment
#sober #sobriety #selfesteem #selflove #compassion #selfcompassion #ODAAT #reaction #codependency #addiction #selfhealing #relationships #empathy
September 29, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Changing your #communication is so powerful that it raises your self-esteem and overcomes codependency. These are skills you didn't learn growing up but literally transform you! Get "How to Be Assertive" buff.ly/D0TnT51 #ODAAT #recovery #relationships #selfesteem #healing #psychology #transformation
September 21, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Changing your #communication is so powerful that it raises your self-esteem and overcomes codependency. These are skills you didn't learn growing up but literally transform you! Get "How to Be Assertive" buff.ly/D0TnT51 #ODAAT #recovery #relationships #selfesteem #healing #psychology #transformation
Narcissists and other abusers seek power to feel safe and avoid shame. Learn how: Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist: Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships."
Read more: bit.ly/3FLbHWH
#Narcissists #Dating #Loving #Narcissist #Relationships
Read more: bit.ly/3FLbHWH
#Narcissists #Dating #Loving #Narcissist #Relationships
September 21, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Narcissists and other abusers seek power to feel safe and avoid shame. Learn how: Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist: Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships."
Read more: bit.ly/3FLbHWH
#Narcissists #Dating #Loving #Narcissist #Relationships
Read more: bit.ly/3FLbHWH
#Narcissists #Dating #Loving #Narcissist #Relationships
There are unconscious factors that go into people-pleasing, so don't expect to change that habit overnight. Make all of these steps conscious, and learn the art of setting boundaries in "How to Be Assertive" bit.ly/29OAWWW #codependency #ODAAT #shame #communication #relationships
September 1, 2025 at 5:39 AM
There are unconscious factors that go into people-pleasing, so don't expect to change that habit overnight. Make all of these steps conscious, and learn the art of setting boundaries in "How to Be Assertive" bit.ly/29OAWWW #codependency #ODAAT #shame #communication #relationships
Unfettered Soul: buff.ly/xmmC82A “Expands your mind, heart and spirit” “Deep introspection” “Beautiful imagery" “Path to self-discovery and resilience” “Highly recommend it” “Fresh insights” “A great deal of wisdom" “So good” "Wise + light, calming + awakening" Paperback buff.ly/i24uaKt #poetry
August 21, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Unfettered Soul: buff.ly/xmmC82A “Expands your mind, heart and spirit” “Deep introspection” “Beautiful imagery" “Path to self-discovery and resilience” “Highly recommend it” “Fresh insights” “A great deal of wisdom" “So good” "Wise + light, calming + awakening" Paperback buff.ly/i24uaKt #poetry
Many of us have been told who and what we are from childhood. Recovery is about shedding that and recovering our true self. Conquering Shame and Codependency: Free the True You buff.ly/7jYovpW #recovery #self #jung #authentic #codependency #selfdiscovery #selfgrowth #authenticity #selfesteem #ODAAT
August 19, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Many of us have been told who and what we are from childhood. Recovery is about shedding that and recovering our true self. Conquering Shame and Codependency: Free the True You buff.ly/7jYovpW #recovery #self #jung #authentic #codependency #selfdiscovery #selfgrowth #authenticity #selfesteem #ODAAT
Get 14 free Tips for Letting Go. www.whatiscodependency.com
#divorce #relationships #ODAAT #recovery #Rilke #philosophy #lettinggo #grief #patience #breakup #breakups
#divorce #relationships #ODAAT #recovery #Rilke #philosophy #lettinggo #grief #patience #breakup #breakups
August 11, 2025 at 5:39 AM
Get 14 free Tips for Letting Go. www.whatiscodependency.com
#divorce #relationships #ODAAT #recovery #Rilke #philosophy #lettinggo #grief #patience #breakup #breakups
#divorce #relationships #ODAAT #recovery #Rilke #philosophy #lettinggo #grief #patience #breakup #breakups
Don't miss out on free healing tools and tips from over 20 experts starting today! Join the Heal Summit today: summit.thehealproject.com/optin-darlen... #recovery #healing #trauma #PTSD #CPTSD #selfhealing #abuse #narcissisticabuse
July 17, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Don't miss out on free healing tools and tips from over 20 experts starting today! Join the Heal Summit today: summit.thehealproject.com/optin-darlen... #recovery #healing #trauma #PTSD #CPTSD #selfhealing #abuse #narcissisticabuse
Discerning our needs from those of other people can be tricky for codependents, especially because when our needs have been shamed or ignored, we tend to do the same. Practice asking your body what it needs, and then fulfill them. Read how: buff.ly/m4hfABM #codependency #relationships #recovery.
July 9, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Discerning our needs from those of other people can be tricky for codependents, especially because when our needs have been shamed or ignored, we tend to do the same. Practice asking your body what it needs, and then fulfill them. Read how: buff.ly/m4hfABM #codependency #relationships #recovery.
#Shame #selfesteem #selflove #recovery #MENTALHEALTH #selfcompassion How to Raise Your Self-Esteem bit.ly/2I4yFIN
June 24, 2025 at 5:30 PM
#Shame #selfesteem #selflove #recovery #MENTALHEALTH #selfcompassion How to Raise Your Self-Esteem bit.ly/2I4yFIN
If you’ve struggled with:
❌ Narcissistic abuse
❌ Toxic family dynamics
❌ Anxiety, fear, or self-doubt
❌ Feeling like you’re never enough. It’s time to heal & reclaim your power. Join The HEAL Project Summit with host David Jacks that starts today! Get your FREE ticket now: buff.ly/nL1oeVM
❌ Narcissistic abuse
❌ Toxic family dynamics
❌ Anxiety, fear, or self-doubt
❌ Feeling like you’re never enough. It’s time to heal & reclaim your power. Join The HEAL Project Summit with host David Jacks that starts today! Get your FREE ticket now: buff.ly/nL1oeVM
June 16, 2025 at 5:40 PM
If you’ve struggled with:
❌ Narcissistic abuse
❌ Toxic family dynamics
❌ Anxiety, fear, or self-doubt
❌ Feeling like you’re never enough. It’s time to heal & reclaim your power. Join The HEAL Project Summit with host David Jacks that starts today! Get your FREE ticket now: buff.ly/nL1oeVM
❌ Narcissistic abuse
❌ Toxic family dynamics
❌ Anxiety, fear, or self-doubt
❌ Feeling like you’re never enough. It’s time to heal & reclaim your power. Join The HEAL Project Summit with host David Jacks that starts today! Get your FREE ticket now: buff.ly/nL1oeVM
#Healing and #recovery often unveil a past we rather forget, but facing and grieving it are essential for growth and peace. Read more poems and essays on transformation in "Unfettered #Soul : Poems and Contemplations on Recovery" buff.ly/HGCKbIg #poetry #shame #trauma #ODAAT #menatlhealth #sober
June 10, 2025 at 6:28 AM
#Healing and #recovery often unveil a past we rather forget, but facing and grieving it are essential for growth and peace. Read more poems and essays on transformation in "Unfettered #Soul : Poems and Contemplations on Recovery" buff.ly/HGCKbIg #poetry #shame #trauma #ODAAT #menatlhealth #sober
In the same family children react differently to their parents, and vice versa. Heal the #trauma and shame: Conquering Shame and #Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You buff.ly/nJDWQ1m #shame #mentalhealth #ptsd #cptsd #ODAAT #recovery #selflove #selfesteem #health
June 8, 2025 at 8:49 PM
In the same family children react differently to their parents, and vice versa. Heal the #trauma and shame: Conquering Shame and #Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You buff.ly/nJDWQ1m #shame #mentalhealth #ptsd #cptsd #ODAAT #recovery #selflove #selfesteem #health
If you missed the live show, here's a link to my interview discussing #poetry and transformation through #relationships buff.ly/zo3sYYC The book "Unfettered #Soul - Poems and Contemplations on #Recovery " is available here: buff.ly/l1WCUWN and in print on Amazon amzn.to/3ZbxoZf #ODAAT #CODA #ACA
June 2, 2025 at 6:43 AM
If you missed the live show, here's a link to my interview discussing #poetry and transformation through #relationships buff.ly/zo3sYYC The book "Unfettered #Soul - Poems and Contemplations on #Recovery " is available here: buff.ly/l1WCUWN and in print on Amazon amzn.to/3ZbxoZf #ODAAT #CODA #ACA
Tune in tomorrow or listen to the replay.
May 31, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Tune in tomorrow or listen to the replay.
"Right now, Stay. You don’t have to go anywhere or do anything.
Breathe. Be with this moment. There’s nothing wrong with you. Allow the ache and tears, too. Rest inside with it. I'm with you."
#Soul #Meditation - buff.ly/lMTelC0 and buff.ly/9k8xk5l #mentalhealth #healing #selfhealing #selflove
Breathe. Be with this moment. There’s nothing wrong with you. Allow the ache and tears, too. Rest inside with it. I'm with you."
#Soul #Meditation - buff.ly/lMTelC0 and buff.ly/9k8xk5l #mentalhealth #healing #selfhealing #selflove
May 27, 2025 at 2:10 PM
"Right now, Stay. You don’t have to go anywhere or do anything.
Breathe. Be with this moment. There’s nothing wrong with you. Allow the ache and tears, too. Rest inside with it. I'm with you."
#Soul #Meditation - buff.ly/lMTelC0 and buff.ly/9k8xk5l #mentalhealth #healing #selfhealing #selflove
Breathe. Be with this moment. There’s nothing wrong with you. Allow the ache and tears, too. Rest inside with it. I'm with you."
#Soul #Meditation - buff.ly/lMTelC0 and buff.ly/9k8xk5l #mentalhealth #healing #selfhealing #selflove
Often, codependents have shame about asking for what they want and need due to childhood trauma. Instead, they have hidden expectations that lead to disappointment and resentment. "Conquer Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You" buff.ly/pjup0Vj
May 21, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Often, codependents have shame about asking for what they want and need due to childhood trauma. Instead, they have hidden expectations that lead to disappointment and resentment. "Conquer Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You" buff.ly/pjup0Vj
Even with both parents present, we can experience abandonment #trauma when a parent ignores or doesn't understand our needs or feelings, creating #codependency. In #recovery we can heal: "Conquering Shame and Codependency" buff.ly/pjup0Vj #selflove #healing #ODAAT #shame #ptsd #cptsd #psychology
May 19, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Even with both parents present, we can experience abandonment #trauma when a parent ignores or doesn't understand our needs or feelings, creating #codependency. In #recovery we can heal: "Conquering Shame and Codependency" buff.ly/pjup0Vj #selflove #healing #ODAAT #shame #ptsd #cptsd #psychology