-that I KNOW probably isn’t true even if it feels true. But it’s really hard to keep up with hiding it and sometimes I feel like I NEED to ask them if they’re gonna leave, and I feel like by asking them that, I suddenly come across as if I don’t trust them. And I don’t want them to think that. :(

Like, no matter how much they all tell me they love me and that they’re not mad at me, I make one mistake or even notice a slight change in any of my friends behaviours and I immediately think they’re gonna leave. I try very hard to internalise this because I don’t want to act poorly over something-

Music affects my brain heavily. I find it so interesting how it does that, it’s like it really triggers your memories. It makes me think abt how people with dementia can remember things if they’re listening to a certain song because it brings them back to that time. The human brain is fascinating.

-times in my life, like traumatic times. If I want to feel good, I listen to songs I listened to during really good parts of my life, like october 2023 when I did my big trip. It not only makes my mood better but it also brings me back to that time, not even in a bad way. It just does

It sucks cuz I love the cold I love the rain I love everything about winter. But like, I have had so much trauma during winter. It makes it really hard to enjoy it when now my brain associates it with that trauma yk

Referring to this person not my ex obviously she can go fuck herself

It’s kind of painful. Especially because I just want us to be close friends like we always have been, but my heart has other plans and no matter how much I try to ignore it it never goes away. Eugh

And I remember when 14 yo me thought I wasn’t capable of experiencing romantic feelings. Always thought my feelings for my ex were me misunderstanding myself because again, I thought I wasn’t capable of it. I was so very wrong

It’s literally just a game?.. 😭 How is it hurting others for you to not want to buy it? Like, why are they getting mad at you over that it’s such a small thing it’s not even a big deal. You’re totally allowrd to express that, people are just weird and sensitive af

hes been frontstuck for months dude who wants to bet that he ends up frontstuck again

In australia yes, you do

I walked out of that room with a genuine smile on my face that I couldn’t wipe off. I was quite depressed yesterday, up until that moment. I couldn’t stop smiling for the next hour. I was so happy. Staying alive for another 6 years despite everything was so damn worth it

I made my friends cry and worry about me, and that made me feel awful, because I don’t want that for them. But they love me and care about me, and I love them and care about them. Sometimes my mind becomes so clouded and I end up convincing myself that I’m driving them away. This proved I’m wrong.

-depression is fucking terrible. This bullshit started when I was 6, and I can outright say no 6 year old ever deserves that. No 6 year old deserves to grow up into their 20s still feeling this way.