The Joke Calculator
@dewno.bsky.social
I'm the world-famous Joke Calculator.
Still a bit confused by how this new website works. Not a fan of the drama and personalities on here. Just my take. (he/him)
Still a bit confused by how this new website works. Not a fan of the drama and personalities on here. Just my take. (he/him)
"Mr. President, what would you say is the administration's legal theory that justifies its actions in Venezuela?"
January 3, 2026 at 6:49 PM
"Mr. President, what would you say is the administration's legal theory that justifies its actions in Venezuela?"
RIP. i laugh anytime i remember this
December 30, 2025 at 9:48 PM
RIP. i laugh anytime i remember this
Really great picture fidelity. I was surprised to find that you can even (faintly) see some of the pickup courts/tennis courts over on the other side of the building!
December 13, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Really great picture fidelity. I was surprised to find that you can even (faintly) see some of the pickup courts/tennis courts over on the other side of the building!
with Nico gone, here's some incredibly-stupid flash fiction i wrote at the time. i doubt i ever posted it
November 15, 2025 at 8:01 PM
with Nico gone, here's some incredibly-stupid flash fiction i wrote at the time. i doubt i ever posted it
me when i'm physically at the U.S. Capitol building and being asked about extrajudicial political violence that I'm in the process of supporting:
October 16, 2025 at 6:33 PM
me when i'm physically at the U.S. Capitol building and being asked about extrajudicial political violence that I'm in the process of supporting:
i like that AI is such a stupid, all-encompassing buzzword that we're now applying it to stuff that we already did perfectly fine before LLMs, like using MCMCs to sim outcomes.
September 7, 2025 at 7:16 PM
i like that AI is such a stupid, all-encompassing buzzword that we're now applying it to stuff that we already did perfectly fine before LLMs, like using MCMCs to sim outcomes.
@damonagnos.bsky.social some pictures of Green Lake
August 11, 2025 at 9:49 PM
@damonagnos.bsky.social some pictures of Green Lake
Here are some from yesterday
April 21, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Here are some from yesterday
I took hundreds of photos this weekend while walking on some nature paths lol. Here are some that I took a few hours ago
April 21, 2025 at 4:15 AM
I took hundreds of photos this weekend while walking on some nature paths lol. Here are some that I took a few hours ago
I had already RT'd when I saw this follow-up lol. Your use of that clip has been some of your finest work over the last couple years
(Also love that Chuck's speech from "chicanery" is a certified youtube meme that large segments of the audience are fluent in)
(Also love that Chuck's speech from "chicanery" is a certified youtube meme that large segments of the audience are fluent in)
April 10, 2025 at 8:46 PM
I had already RT'd when I saw this follow-up lol. Your use of that clip has been some of your finest work over the last couple years
(Also love that Chuck's speech from "chicanery" is a certified youtube meme that large segments of the audience are fluent in)
(Also love that Chuck's speech from "chicanery" is a certified youtube meme that large segments of the audience are fluent in)
When we got Andrew Wiggin and Harrison Bergeron in the league:
February 6, 2025 at 1:55 AM
When we got Andrew Wiggin and Harrison Bergeron in the league:
@docrostov.bsky.social from a group DM
February 2, 2025 at 9:10 PM
@docrostov.bsky.social from a group DM
"Did your parents not sign the permission slip to go to the air show? That's alright, we've got some fun stuff here in homeroom! We've got some great VHS tapes, of, let's see, uhh, The McLaughlin Group. Some Madonna music videos. Mystery Men.
...
Fuck it. We're going to the air show. I'll drive."
...
Fuck it. We're going to the air show. I'll drive."
January 18, 2025 at 12:02 AM
"Did your parents not sign the permission slip to go to the air show? That's alright, we've got some fun stuff here in homeroom! We've got some great VHS tapes, of, let's see, uhh, The McLaughlin Group. Some Madonna music videos. Mystery Men.
...
Fuck it. We're going to the air show. I'll drive."
...
Fuck it. We're going to the air show. I'll drive."
![From the Canadian Wikipedia page for the Canadian "loonie" coin:
"It was planned that the coin would continue using the voyageur theme of its predecessor, but the master dies that had been struck in Ottawa were lost in transit en route to the Mint's facility at Winnipeg.[12] A Commons committee struck to investigate the loss discovered that the Mint had no documented procedures for transport of master dies and that it had shipped them via a local courier in a bid to save $43.50. It was also found to be the third time that the Mint had lost master dies within five years.[13] An internal review by the Royal Canadian Mint argued that while a policy existed to ship the obverse and reverse dies separately, the new coin dies were packaged separately but were part of the same shipment. The Mint also disagreed with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police's contention that the dies were simply lost in transit, believing instead that they were stolen.[14] The dies were never recovered.[12]"](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:xqtpxwnc6wzxbp6qeetineyg/bafkreiav4jaisfjcfdiypga7azrvfm6i2avk2tf7z2bbbn5342agz7hz2q@jpeg)
What part did you fuck up? I'm always fucking up the potential plethora of other grains or vegetables, but the other parts I completely nail. I don't know why I keep trying to add a potential plethora of other grains or vegetables. It never turns out well.
December 17, 2024 at 12:06 AM
What part did you fuck up? I'm always fucking up the potential plethora of other grains or vegetables, but the other parts I completely nail. I don't know why I keep trying to add a potential plethora of other grains or vegetables. It never turns out well.
I was chasing down an original song that Art Tatum covered and stumbled upon this 1919 song, and the comments contain a songwriting joke that probably predates 1919
(N.B.: It is an instrumental.)
(N.B.: It is an instrumental.)
November 15, 2024 at 5:01 PM
I was chasing down an original song that Art Tatum covered and stumbled upon this 1919 song, and the comments contain a songwriting joke that probably predates 1919
(N.B.: It is an instrumental.)
(N.B.: It is an instrumental.)
i mean do what you want but the reason i felt i couldn't stay here a year ago is exactly because of toxic sanctimony like this. i'm not going to bring my friends into a toxic environment where arbitrary, invented standards of morality are used to judge, gatekeep, and exclude them
November 14, 2024 at 2:14 AM
i mean do what you want but the reason i felt i couldn't stay here a year ago is exactly because of toxic sanctimony like this. i'm not going to bring my friends into a toxic environment where arbitrary, invented standards of morality are used to judge, gatekeep, and exclude them
![[very Lonely Goatherd voice] (Please read the following to the melody and yodeling of the song "Lonely Goatherd" from "The Sound of Music")
"🎶 Polls showing ties for the swing states' vote herd
(according to binomial computations too!)
🎶The chance they're all true is thus quite remote, sir!
(jpeg of "heartbreaking: the worst person you"
(Note that I am quote-tweeting Nate Silver, who produced a graphic showing that the ties in swing state polls are statistically unlikely to be valid (even if we assume the polls are in fact tied in all seven states!) Silver concludes that pollsters are censoring data that points in one or the other direction in order to hedge, and uses a statistical analysis to demonstrate this)
Then I follow up that tweet with my own reply to the post, saying "the venn diagram for this tweet is me". Pedantic note here: It really should say something like "the intersection of the Venn diagram for the demographic appeal of this tweet is me" but I thought I could convey the idea more succinctly by saying "the venn diagram for this tweet is me" given the way we tend to use the term as shorthand.
Wow, that was a long explanation for a middling tweet that, as I said, mostly only appeals to me. Thanks for sticking it out. Sincerely. If you read this far, as a little bonus, here's a little tidbit:
In 2016, Nate Silver addressed an audience at the Sloan Sports Conference. Despite his reputation as the ultimate poll/analytics guy, he admitted (at least at the time) that he himself did not vote! I was not there and there's no written record to my knowledge, but I'm close friends with one of the people in the audience. I speculate this was related to his academic pedigree at the UChicago econ department and the questionable logic of "marginal utility of a single vote is 0" that my wonderfully-dry econ 101 teacher in high school once wryly recited for our class, right around the time he got elected Village President.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:xqtpxwnc6wzxbp6qeetineyg/bafkreifc5jhf6a3nwiorhmg4vkrdrck362732d2exyeth2fpnvaleeapvm@jpeg)
September 1, 2024 at 7:28 PM