@djaliplume.bsky.social
Hi I'm a Danish. I'm a blind. I'm a scruffy looking goat herder. I'm a diabeetle. I come in peace, when I remember to close the door.
// dumb shit, inane jokes, nsfw tomfoolery, whatever.
// dumb shit, inane jokes, nsfw tomfoolery, whatever.
You know that thing when you come to sitting on the toilet and your glasses are in the sink broken. You should have seen the otehr guy, though. The other guy being myself, probably. Since I have no idea what happened.
The right side of my face hurts and the glasses were broken on the right side...
The right side of my face hurts and the glasses were broken on the right side...
December 19, 2025 at 12:10 AM
You know that thing when you come to sitting on the toilet and your glasses are in the sink broken. You should have seen the otehr guy, though. The other guy being myself, probably. Since I have no idea what happened.
The right side of my face hurts and the glasses were broken on the right side...
The right side of my face hurts and the glasses were broken on the right side...
A 5-2 diet is a lot more fun on the 5s than on the 2s.
December 16, 2025 at 8:42 PM
A 5-2 diet is a lot more fun on the 5s than on the 2s.
Those people who fuck their cars, aren't they afraid of auto erotic aphyciation?
Thanks, I'll be here all night. That's a threat.
Thanks, I'll be here all night. That's a threat.
December 16, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Those people who fuck their cars, aren't they afraid of auto erotic aphyciation?
Thanks, I'll be here all night. That's a threat.
Thanks, I'll be here all night. That's a threat.
Your brain does not support the reality format. Please try a different brain.
December 15, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Your brain does not support the reality format. Please try a different brain.
The Who's On First sketch only with shootings.
How many has it been today?
How many has it been today?
December 14, 2025 at 1:55 PM
The Who's On First sketch only with shootings.
How many has it been today?
How many has it been today?
Will It Breathe, the new gameshow where we hold things underwater and see if they struggle.
December 14, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Will It Breathe, the new gameshow where we hold things underwater and see if they struggle.
Nevermind the snowman, the real abomination is making me try to spell abominable. Abonimable? Abnormanimals? Abuelabooboo boogaloo? What are even words anymore
December 13, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Nevermind the snowman, the real abomination is making me try to spell abominable. Abonimable? Abnormanimals? Abuelabooboo boogaloo? What are even words anymore
I don't believe quinoa actualyl exists
December 12, 2025 at 1:10 PM
I don't believe quinoa actualyl exists
A picture of me hitting a bike with a sledgehammer
December 10, 2025 at 8:23 PM
A picture of me hitting a bike with a sledgehammer
When night falls and the darkness calls and you're howling at the doom
December 10, 2025 at 7:54 PM
When night falls and the darkness calls and you're howling at the doom
I'm not a doll, I'm an action figure, damnit.
December 10, 2025 at 7:52 PM
I'm not a doll, I'm an action figure, damnit.
I dreamt that I opened my dead eye
December 9, 2025 at 4:13 PM
I dreamt that I opened my dead eye
Infinitely, Sadly, Feebly.
December 8, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Infinitely, Sadly, Feebly.
San
Santa's list better be GDPR compliant, I am not consenting to him gathering or storing any sensitive information about how I may or may not be naughty, allegedly. If I end up on the naughty list I'm suing his fat ass.
Santa's list better be GDPR compliant, I am not consenting to him gathering or storing any sensitive information about how I may or may not be naughty, allegedly. If I end up on the naughty list I'm suing his fat ass.
December 8, 2025 at 2:05 PM
San
Santa's list better be GDPR compliant, I am not consenting to him gathering or storing any sensitive information about how I may or may not be naughty, allegedly. If I end up on the naughty list I'm suing his fat ass.
Santa's list better be GDPR compliant, I am not consenting to him gathering or storing any sensitive information about how I may or may not be naughty, allegedly. If I end up on the naughty list I'm suing his fat ass.
I don't know what would threaten me more, a musician named D'Shawn or a musician called Dijon. None of them sound white, Ima need my Bud Lights stat.
December 7, 2025 at 5:22 PM
I don't know what would threaten me more, a musician named D'Shawn or a musician called Dijon. None of them sound white, Ima need my Bud Lights stat.
I am on a 1000mbps internet connection now. And I can talk on the phone while being online. 90s me would be amazed, and 90s my mother less angry at me for blocking the phone.
I bet nspaa still runs at 23kbps speed tho
I bet nspaa still runs at 23kbps speed tho
December 5, 2025 at 6:12 PM
I am on a 1000mbps internet connection now. And I can talk on the phone while being online. 90s me would be amazed, and 90s my mother less angry at me for blocking the phone.
I bet nspaa still runs at 23kbps speed tho
I bet nspaa still runs at 23kbps speed tho
Handed over the keys to my old apartment today. So I'm down to one apartment. Oh and the beach hose in Hawaii and the ski lodge in the Alps. And the sex dungeon in the White House, wait what's that red dot on my forehead?!
December 4, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Handed over the keys to my old apartment today. So I'm down to one apartment. Oh and the beach hose in Hawaii and the ski lodge in the Alps. And the sex dungeon in the White House, wait what's that red dot on my forehead?!
If you can't say something ncie about someone, just punch them.
December 2, 2025 at 8:31 PM
If you can't say something ncie about someone, just punch them.
This year, all I'm wishing for christmas is world peace. In the form of an extinction level event.
December 1, 2025 at 8:32 AM
This year, all I'm wishing for christmas is world peace. In the form of an extinction level event.
I got 99 problems, and they're all myself.
November 29, 2025 at 9:01 PM
I got 99 problems, and they're all myself.
Can't believe snl rejected my Harlem Hogwarts skit.
November 29, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Can't believe snl rejected my Harlem Hogwarts skit.
Well at least I haven't gained a sense of humour.
November 28, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Well at least I haven't gained a sense of humour.
I know AI is the devil, but chatting to AI Andy Kaufman made me laugh. I wonder what he would think about the world today. The real one I mean, not the AI one.
November 26, 2025 at 1:56 PM
I know AI is the devil, but chatting to AI Andy Kaufman made me laugh. I wonder what he would think about the world today. The real one I mean, not the AI one.
If kids today want to play games on their phones they hould be required to type them in beforehand.
You haven't earned your dues if you haven't done a type-in game and then had to read through 500 lines of code to find the typo you made that caused the game to crash when you launched it.
You haven't earned your dues if you haven't done a type-in game and then had to read through 500 lines of code to find the typo you made that caused the game to crash when you launched it.
November 25, 2025 at 7:38 PM
If kids today want to play games on their phones they hould be required to type them in beforehand.
You haven't earned your dues if you haven't done a type-in game and then had to read through 500 lines of code to find the typo you made that caused the game to crash when you launched it.
You haven't earned your dues if you haven't done a type-in game and then had to read through 500 lines of code to find the typo you made that caused the game to crash when you launched it.
I'm a lot like Kanye in bed. Ima let you finish, Ima let you finish.
November 25, 2025 at 7:30 PM
I'm a lot like Kanye in bed. Ima let you finish, Ima let you finish.