I was just thinking "Is the homeless life right for me?" but now that I cannot get a free tent I think I'll just keep my house.

And I thought I fucked when when I dropped my first Blackberry off the edge of a boat while crabbing.

A total amount that doesn't even constitute a fucking rounding error in our budget.

You need to put a viking helmet on her and teach her to ride it.

Can never go wrong with gumbo

A Jesus Christ AI image

Jesus Saves ... When he uses his discount club card.

Got to buy a ton of these games when stores were blowing them out for $.99. I fondly remember spending hours every day 3 feet in front of the screen playing the 2600. Recently try some of these games again and they suck. I must of had radiation brain damage as a kid from sitting that close to the TV

You can always go the other way with it.

People call them their thrift store white whale. I've found 7 of them at thrift stores now. I've bought every one and found it a loving home. I'll be damned if I'm going to let a flipper rob someone of a $10 zoji. If you ever find one of the bread machines it's a must have.

I like them in a burrito.

It's a mistake you only make once. Ask me how I know.

People watching me run the 100 yard dash in highschool P.E. got to witness subhuman speed.

Do only certain classes get to have more than 1 in a stack?

Nothing like smoked turkey in the middle of the summer when there isn't a bird to be found