Douglas Ireland ✊🌱
@douglasireland.com
Morning person based in Paisley, Scotland.
"It takes much longer to get up north, the slow way." - Ian Dury
(any/all)
Writing: douglasireland.com
"It takes much longer to get up north, the slow way." - Ian Dury
(any/all)
Writing: douglasireland.com
Sunday morning update. I am accepting auditions for the role of "Misunderstood Bond Villain" or "Pirate Captain in a Low-Budget Panto".
Applications should be sent via nurse carrier pigeon.
1/2
#HospitalLife #SundayMorning #NewLook #PirateLife #NHS
Applications should be sent via nurse carrier pigeon.
1/2
#HospitalLife #SundayMorning #NewLook #PirateLife #NHS
January 11, 2026 at 9:15 AM
Sunday morning update. I am accepting auditions for the role of "Misunderstood Bond Villain" or "Pirate Captain in a Low-Budget Panto".
Applications should be sent via nurse carrier pigeon.
1/2
#HospitalLife #SundayMorning #NewLook #PirateLife #NHS
Applications should be sent via nurse carrier pigeon.
1/2
#HospitalLife #SundayMorning #NewLook #PirateLife #NHS
Still in hospital. I suspect that by now, Chipshop has assumed I am never returning and has legally claimed the entire sofa.
I will have to apply for a visitor pass to my own lounge when I finally get out.
I do miss the Wee Chook though.
#Chipshop #DogLife #HospitalLife #NHS #Cutie
I will have to apply for a visitor pass to my own lounge when I finally get out.
I do miss the Wee Chook though.
#Chipshop #DogLife #HospitalLife #NHS #Cutie
January 8, 2026 at 9:19 AM
Still in hospital. I suspect that by now, Chipshop has assumed I am never returning and has legally claimed the entire sofa.
I will have to apply for a visitor pass to my own lounge when I finally get out.
I do miss the Wee Chook though.
#Chipshop #DogLife #HospitalLife #NHS #Cutie
I will have to apply for a visitor pass to my own lounge when I finally get out.
I do miss the Wee Chook though.
#Chipshop #DogLife #HospitalLife #NHS #Cutie
I asked the NHS for a quick software update. They took it literally and gave me a patch.
I am now running on Douglas v2.1. The release notes are vague, but I believe it fixes a few bugs in the visual rendering engine.
#Patch #NHS #SoftwareUpdate #Cyborg #HospitalLife
I am now running on Douglas v2.1. The release notes are vague, but I believe it fixes a few bugs in the visual rendering engine.
#Patch #NHS #SoftwareUpdate #Cyborg #HospitalLife
January 7, 2026 at 5:37 PM
I asked the NHS for a quick software update. They took it literally and gave me a patch.
I am now running on Douglas v2.1. The release notes are vague, but I believe it fixes a few bugs in the visual rendering engine.
#Patch #NHS #SoftwareUpdate #Cyborg #HospitalLife
I am now running on Douglas v2.1. The release notes are vague, but I believe it fixes a few bugs in the visual rendering engine.
#Patch #NHS #SoftwareUpdate #Cyborg #HospitalLife
I have escaped to Beamish for the New Year. I am currently walking around a town that is permanently stuck in 1913.
The Wi-Fi is non-existent, everything is mechanical, and people wear flat caps. I have never felt more at home. I might just resign from 2026 and stay here.
#TimeTravel #Hogmanay
The Wi-Fi is non-existent, everything is mechanical, and people wear flat caps. I have never felt more at home. I might just resign from 2026 and stay here.
#TimeTravel #Hogmanay
January 2, 2026 at 12:35 PM
I have escaped to Beamish for the New Year. I am currently walking around a town that is permanently stuck in 1913.
The Wi-Fi is non-existent, everything is mechanical, and people wear flat caps. I have never felt more at home. I might just resign from 2026 and stay here.
#TimeTravel #Hogmanay
The Wi-Fi is non-existent, everything is mechanical, and people wear flat caps. I have never felt more at home. I might just resign from 2026 and stay here.
#TimeTravel #Hogmanay
I have no memory of saving this, but 17 years later, the logic still holds up.
Some realisations are simply platform-independent. 2/2
#DigitalArchaeology #Wally #Archive #Logic
Some realisations are simply platform-independent. 2/2
#DigitalArchaeology #Wally #Archive #Logic
December 28, 2025 at 12:11 PM
I have no memory of saving this, but 17 years later, the logic still holds up.
Some realisations are simply platform-independent. 2/2
#DigitalArchaeology #Wally #Archive #Logic
Some realisations are simply platform-independent. 2/2
#DigitalArchaeology #Wally #Archive #Logic
Tuesday morning performance review with my executive assistant (yes, his name is Chipshop).
He has reviewed my to-do list and decided the strategic priority for the day is 'napping on the rug' and 'sighing loudly.'
Hard to argue with his leadership style.
#DogLife #Chipshop #WFH #Management
He has reviewed my to-do list and decided the strategic priority for the day is 'napping on the rug' and 'sighing loudly.'
Hard to argue with his leadership style.
#DogLife #Chipshop #WFH #Management
November 25, 2025 at 10:06 AM
Tuesday morning performance review with my executive assistant (yes, his name is Chipshop).
He has reviewed my to-do list and decided the strategic priority for the day is 'napping on the rug' and 'sighing loudly.'
Hard to argue with his leadership style.
#DogLife #Chipshop #WFH #Management
He has reviewed my to-do list and decided the strategic priority for the day is 'napping on the rug' and 'sighing loudly.'
Hard to argue with his leadership style.
#DogLife #Chipshop #WFH #Management
I’m writing a blog post for next week about the quiet resistance of "dumb" tech.
This cost £13 from Argos. It doesn’t track my sleep. It doesn’t ping me with emails I don’t want to read. It just tells me when it’s tea time.
Sometimes that is all the upgrade you need.
#Casio #DigitalMinimalism
This cost £13 from Argos. It doesn’t track my sleep. It doesn’t ping me with emails I don’t want to read. It just tells me when it’s tea time.
Sometimes that is all the upgrade you need.
#Casio #DigitalMinimalism
November 23, 2025 at 6:22 PM
I’m writing a blog post for next week about the quiet resistance of "dumb" tech.
This cost £13 from Argos. It doesn’t track my sleep. It doesn’t ping me with emails I don’t want to read. It just tells me when it’s tea time.
Sometimes that is all the upgrade you need.
#Casio #DigitalMinimalism
This cost £13 from Argos. It doesn’t track my sleep. It doesn’t ping me with emails I don’t want to read. It just tells me when it’s tea time.
Sometimes that is all the upgrade you need.
#Casio #DigitalMinimalism
"Winding our way down..." Gerry Rafferty Drive. Great shift with the team today.
Good energy and good company for my first time out on the doors.
@scottishgreens.org @ren-inv-greens.bsky.social @caramckeegreens.bsky.social
#ScottishGreens #Paisley #Canvassing #Teamwork #BakerStreet
Good energy and good company for my first time out on the doors.
@scottishgreens.org @ren-inv-greens.bsky.social @caramckeegreens.bsky.social
#ScottishGreens #Paisley #Canvassing #Teamwork #BakerStreet
November 22, 2025 at 6:57 PM
"Winding our way down..." Gerry Rafferty Drive. Great shift with the team today.
Good energy and good company for my first time out on the doors.
@scottishgreens.org @ren-inv-greens.bsky.social @caramckeegreens.bsky.social
#ScottishGreens #Paisley #Canvassing #Teamwork #BakerStreet
Good energy and good company for my first time out on the doors.
@scottishgreens.org @ren-inv-greens.bsky.social @caramckeegreens.bsky.social
#ScottishGreens #Paisley #Canvassing #Teamwork #BakerStreet
Best find while out on the doors for the Scottish Greens today.
Had to take a quick break from canvassing to appreciate a Paisley legend.
You can't read this sign without hearing the saxophone.
#ScottishGreens #Canvassing #Paisley #GerryRafferty #BakerStreet
Had to take a quick break from canvassing to appreciate a Paisley legend.
You can't read this sign without hearing the saxophone.
#ScottishGreens #Canvassing #Paisley #GerryRafferty #BakerStreet
November 22, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Best find while out on the doors for the Scottish Greens today.
Had to take a quick break from canvassing to appreciate a Paisley legend.
You can't read this sign without hearing the saxophone.
#ScottishGreens #Canvassing #Paisley #GerryRafferty #BakerStreet
Had to take a quick break from canvassing to appreciate a Paisley legend.
You can't read this sign without hearing the saxophone.
#ScottishGreens #Canvassing #Paisley #GerryRafferty #BakerStreet
Great energy at the climate march in Glasgow yesterday.
But marches are just the start. The real work is holding politicians' feet to the fire every single day. We need radical, systemic change, not just warm words and distant targets.
#ClimateAction #Politics #GlasgowGreen #ActNow
But marches are just the start. The real work is holding politicians' feet to the fire every single day. We need radical, systemic change, not just warm words and distant targets.
#ClimateAction #Politics #GlasgowGreen #ActNow
November 16, 2025 at 9:47 AM
Great energy at the climate march in Glasgow yesterday.
But marches are just the start. The real work is holding politicians' feet to the fire every single day. We need radical, systemic change, not just warm words and distant targets.
#ClimateAction #Politics #GlasgowGreen #ActNow
But marches are just the start. The real work is holding politicians' feet to the fire every single day. We need radical, systemic change, not just warm words and distant targets.
#ClimateAction #Politics #GlasgowGreen #ActNow
Buzzing for Bob Vylan at the O2 Academy! 🔥 Waiting for it to kick off. Also super hyped to see the support act, Cowboy Hunters. Great night ahead with @loveyogacrew.bsky.social.
#BobVylan #CowboyHunters #Glasgow #LiveMusic
#BobVylan #CowboyHunters #Glasgow #LiveMusic
November 6, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Buzzing for Bob Vylan at the O2 Academy! 🔥 Waiting for it to kick off. Also super hyped to see the support act, Cowboy Hunters. Great night ahead with @loveyogacrew.bsky.social.
#BobVylan #CowboyHunters #Glasgow #LiveMusic
#BobVylan #CowboyHunters #Glasgow #LiveMusic
The look my dog, Chipshop, gives me when I'm eating toast is one of profound, ancient betrayal.
As if I've never fed him. Ever. In his entire life.
It's amazing how he can look so starved 10 minutes after his breakfast.🐾
#DogLife #DogsOfBluesky #Chipshop #TheBetrayal #Toast #hisweenameischipshop
As if I've never fed him. Ever. In his entire life.
It's amazing how he can look so starved 10 minutes after his breakfast.🐾
#DogLife #DogsOfBluesky #Chipshop #TheBetrayal #Toast #hisweenameischipshop
November 6, 2025 at 9:19 AM
The look my dog, Chipshop, gives me when I'm eating toast is one of profound, ancient betrayal.
As if I've never fed him. Ever. In his entire life.
It's amazing how he can look so starved 10 minutes after his breakfast.🐾
#DogLife #DogsOfBluesky #Chipshop #TheBetrayal #Toast #hisweenameischipshop
As if I've never fed him. Ever. In his entire life.
It's amazing how he can look so starved 10 minutes after his breakfast.🐾
#DogLife #DogsOfBluesky #Chipshop #TheBetrayal #Toast #hisweenameischipshop
Be there. Scotland's Climate March. ✊
📅 Saturday 15th November
🕚 11 AM
📍 Glasgow Green
Sign up for updates and join the movement: act.foe.scot/climate_marc...
📅 Saturday 15th November
🕚 11 AM
📍 Glasgow Green
Sign up for updates and join the movement: act.foe.scot/climate_marc...
November 1, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Be there. Scotland's Climate March. ✊
📅 Saturday 15th November
🕚 11 AM
📍 Glasgow Green
Sign up for updates and join the movement: act.foe.scot/climate_marc...
📅 Saturday 15th November
🕚 11 AM
📍 Glasgow Green
Sign up for updates and join the movement: act.foe.scot/climate_marc...
But it's beef, not gammon.
November 1, 2025 at 10:16 AM
But it's beef, not gammon.
If you're looking for #yoga, I highly recommend checking out @loveyogacrew.bsky.social!
They run in-person classes in #strathaven & #paisley, plus an online membership (you can get a 7-day free trial).
All the details are at loveyogacrew.com
They run in-person classes in #strathaven & #paisley, plus an online membership (you can get a 7-day free trial).
All the details are at loveyogacrew.com
October 31, 2025 at 9:11 PM
If you're looking for #yoga, I highly recommend checking out @loveyogacrew.bsky.social!
They run in-person classes in #strathaven & #paisley, plus an online membership (you can get a 7-day free trial).
All the details are at loveyogacrew.com
They run in-person classes in #strathaven & #paisley, plus an online membership (you can get a 7-day free trial).
All the details are at loveyogacrew.com
I got matching pajamas with @loveyogacrew.bsky.social and ate my first mince pie of the season.
December 5, 2024 at 10:02 PM
I got matching pajamas with @loveyogacrew.bsky.social and ate my first mince pie of the season.
There's a guy works down the Chipshop swears he's Elvis.
March 1, 2024 at 7:49 PM
There's a guy works down the Chipshop swears he's Elvis.
His wee name is Chipshop
February 28, 2024 at 8:48 PM
His wee name is Chipshop
That's my Christmas dinner sorted.
December 25, 2023 at 11:30 AM
That's my Christmas dinner sorted.
For Christmas I got an Oldham Athletic lunch bag and a new Casio. I'm 43. I love them.
December 24, 2023 at 6:40 PM
For Christmas I got an Oldham Athletic lunch bag and a new Casio. I'm 43. I love them.