Douglas Ireland ✊🌱
@douglasireland.com
Morning person based in Paisley, Scotland.
"It takes much longer to get up north, the slow way." - Ian Dury
(any/all)
Writing: douglasireland.com
"It takes much longer to get up north, the slow way." - Ian Dury
(any/all)
Writing: douglasireland.com
Pinned
Scheduled for a lumbar puncture today. It sounds like something that happens to a radiator, not a person.
I am hoping they can just bleed the system, repressurise the boiler, and get things running efficiently again.
#NHS #Hospital #DomesticEngineer #Plumbing
I am hoping they can just bleed the system, repressurise the boiler, and get things running efficiently again.
#NHS #Hospital #DomesticEngineer #Plumbing
January 13, 2026 at 9:26 AM
Scheduled for a lumbar puncture today. It sounds like something that happens to a radiator, not a person.
I am hoping they can just bleed the system, repressurise the boiler, and get things running efficiently again.
#NHS #Hospital #DomesticEngineer #Plumbing
I am hoping they can just bleed the system, repressurise the boiler, and get things running efficiently again.
#NHS #Hospital #DomesticEngineer #Plumbing
Sunday morning update. I am accepting auditions for the role of "Misunderstood Bond Villain" or "Pirate Captain in a Low-Budget Panto".
Applications should be sent via nurse carrier pigeon.
1/2
#HospitalLife #SundayMorning #NewLook #PirateLife #NHS
Applications should be sent via nurse carrier pigeon.
1/2
#HospitalLife #SundayMorning #NewLook #PirateLife #NHS
January 11, 2026 at 9:15 AM
Sunday morning update. I am accepting auditions for the role of "Misunderstood Bond Villain" or "Pirate Captain in a Low-Budget Panto".
Applications should be sent via nurse carrier pigeon.
1/2
#HospitalLife #SundayMorning #NewLook #PirateLife #NHS
Applications should be sent via nurse carrier pigeon.
1/2
#HospitalLife #SundayMorning #NewLook #PirateLife #NHS
Five nights in hospital, and it looks like three more at least. A spinal tap is on the menu. Last night was rough: snores, erratic noises, and a brain that refused to quit. Not a great combo.
1/3
#HospitalLife #SleeplessNights
1/3
#HospitalLife #SleeplessNights
January 10, 2026 at 7:42 AM
Five nights in hospital, and it looks like three more at least. A spinal tap is on the menu. Last night was rough: snores, erratic noises, and a brain that refused to quit. Not a great combo.
1/3
#HospitalLife #SleeplessNights
1/3
#HospitalLife #SleeplessNights
Still in hospital. I suspect that by now, Chipshop has assumed I am never returning and has legally claimed the entire sofa.
I will have to apply for a visitor pass to my own lounge when I finally get out.
I do miss the Wee Chook though.
#Chipshop #DogLife #HospitalLife #NHS #Cutie
I will have to apply for a visitor pass to my own lounge when I finally get out.
I do miss the Wee Chook though.
#Chipshop #DogLife #HospitalLife #NHS #Cutie
January 8, 2026 at 9:19 AM
Still in hospital. I suspect that by now, Chipshop has assumed I am never returning and has legally claimed the entire sofa.
I will have to apply for a visitor pass to my own lounge when I finally get out.
I do miss the Wee Chook though.
#Chipshop #DogLife #HospitalLife #NHS #Cutie
I will have to apply for a visitor pass to my own lounge when I finally get out.
I do miss the Wee Chook though.
#Chipshop #DogLife #HospitalLife #NHS #Cutie
I asked the NHS for a quick software update. They took it literally and gave me a patch.
I am now running on Douglas v2.1. The release notes are vague, but I believe it fixes a few bugs in the visual rendering engine.
#Patch #NHS #SoftwareUpdate #Cyborg #HospitalLife
I am now running on Douglas v2.1. The release notes are vague, but I believe it fixes a few bugs in the visual rendering engine.
#Patch #NHS #SoftwareUpdate #Cyborg #HospitalLife
January 7, 2026 at 5:37 PM
I asked the NHS for a quick software update. They took it literally and gave me a patch.
I am now running on Douglas v2.1. The release notes are vague, but I believe it fixes a few bugs in the visual rendering engine.
#Patch #NHS #SoftwareUpdate #Cyborg #HospitalLife
I am now running on Douglas v2.1. The release notes are vague, but I believe it fixes a few bugs in the visual rendering engine.
#Patch #NHS #SoftwareUpdate #Cyborg #HospitalLife
Good morning from the ward. I am still a guest of the NHS, but I refused to stare at the ceiling all night.
Instead, I wrote a new blog post between nurse rounds.
It turns out that hospital insomnia is actually quite productive.
Link below👇
#NHS #HospitalLife #Blogging
Instead, I wrote a new blog post between nurse rounds.
It turns out that hospital insomnia is actually quite productive.
Link below👇
#NHS #HospitalLife #Blogging
Let Scotland Go: A Kindness to Both Nations – Douglas Ireland
douglasireland.com
January 7, 2026 at 9:18 AM
Good morning from the ward. I am still a guest of the NHS, but I refused to stare at the ceiling all night.
Instead, I wrote a new blog post between nurse rounds.
It turns out that hospital insomnia is actually quite productive.
Link below👇
#NHS #HospitalLife #Blogging
Instead, I wrote a new blog post between nurse rounds.
It turns out that hospital insomnia is actually quite productive.
Link below👇
#NHS #HospitalLife #Blogging
Currently at the hospital with a wonky eye. NHS staff are absolute stars, as ever. Waiting rooms: not fun, but great for finishing blog posts.
Latest one’s up now. Give it a read if you’re also stuck killing time.
#NHS #WaitingRoomWisdom
Latest one’s up now. Give it a read if you’re also stuck killing time.
#NHS #WaitingRoomWisdom
Trump’s Donroe Doctrine is a threat to global stability. NATO’s silence on Greenland shows alliances crumbling under US imperialism.
Scotland must stand on its own.
Read why independence and green politics are key: 👇
#Scotland #Independence #GreenPolitics #NATO
Scotland must stand on its own.
Read why independence and green politics are key: 👇
#Scotland #Independence #GreenPolitics #NATO
Trump’s Donroe Doctrine: A Wake-Up Call for Scotland and the Left – Douglas Ireland
douglasireland.com
January 6, 2026 at 2:24 PM
Currently at the hospital with a wonky eye. NHS staff are absolute stars, as ever. Waiting rooms: not fun, but great for finishing blog posts.
Latest one’s up now. Give it a read if you’re also stuck killing time.
#NHS #WaitingRoomWisdom
Latest one’s up now. Give it a read if you’re also stuck killing time.
#NHS #WaitingRoomWisdom
Trump’s Donroe Doctrine is a threat to global stability. NATO’s silence on Greenland shows alliances crumbling under US imperialism.
Scotland must stand on its own.
Read why independence and green politics are key: 👇
#Scotland #Independence #GreenPolitics #NATO
Scotland must stand on its own.
Read why independence and green politics are key: 👇
#Scotland #Independence #GreenPolitics #NATO
Trump’s Donroe Doctrine: A Wake-Up Call for Scotland and the Left – Douglas Ireland
douglasireland.com
January 6, 2026 at 12:13 PM
Trump’s Donroe Doctrine is a threat to global stability. NATO’s silence on Greenland shows alliances crumbling under US imperialism.
Scotland must stand on its own.
Read why independence and green politics are key: 👇
#Scotland #Independence #GreenPolitics #NATO
Scotland must stand on its own.
Read why independence and green politics are key: 👇
#Scotland #Independence #GreenPolitics #NATO
Reposted by Douglas Ireland ✊🌱
My quest for a self-hosted "Google Photos" alternative hit a snag. Turns out, asking 4GB of RAM to recognise faces is like asking a hamster to calculate the national debt.
The app has been evicted for bad behaviour. We are back to "The Slow Way" of manual sorting.
#SelfHosted #Nextcloud #Degoogle
The app has been evicted for bad behaviour. We are back to "The Slow Way" of manual sorting.
#SelfHosted #Nextcloud #Degoogle
January 6, 2026 at 10:13 AM
My quest for a self-hosted "Google Photos" alternative hit a snag. Turns out, asking 4GB of RAM to recognise faces is like asking a hamster to calculate the national debt.
The app has been evicted for bad behaviour. We are back to "The Slow Way" of manual sorting.
#SelfHosted #Nextcloud #Degoogle
The app has been evicted for bad behaviour. We are back to "The Slow Way" of manual sorting.
#SelfHosted #Nextcloud #Degoogle
I have just launched two ad-free, high-contrast games: Sudoku and Spell Well.
I originally built these for my partner to make gaming accessible for those with sight impairments. They are free to play, but please consider a donation to Sight Scotland if you enjoy them!👇
#A11y #Sudoku #Accessibility
I originally built these for my partner to make gaming accessible for those with sight impairments. They are free to play, but please consider a donation to Sight Scotland if you enjoy them!👇
#A11y #Sudoku #Accessibility
games – Douglas Ireland
douglasireland.com
January 4, 2026 at 3:06 PM
I have just launched two ad-free, high-contrast games: Sudoku and Spell Well.
I originally built these for my partner to make gaming accessible for those with sight impairments. They are free to play, but please consider a donation to Sight Scotland if you enjoy them!👇
#A11y #Sudoku #Accessibility
I originally built these for my partner to make gaming accessible for those with sight impairments. They are free to play, but please consider a donation to Sight Scotland if you enjoy them!👇
#A11y #Sudoku #Accessibility
Watched Perfect Days last night. It’s a film that understands the quiet dignity of routine. No grand gestures, no dramatic arcs, just a man, his work, and the small, unspoken rhythms of a life well-lived.
It’s refreshing to see something that doesn’t scream for attention.
#PerfectDays #SlowCinema
It’s refreshing to see something that doesn’t scream for attention.
#PerfectDays #SlowCinema
January 4, 2026 at 10:53 AM
Watched Perfect Days last night. It’s a film that understands the quiet dignity of routine. No grand gestures, no dramatic arcs, just a man, his work, and the small, unspoken rhythms of a life well-lived.
It’s refreshing to see something that doesn’t scream for attention.
#PerfectDays #SlowCinema
It’s refreshing to see something that doesn’t scream for attention.
#PerfectDays #SlowCinema
Another illegal war for oil. Trump has launched strikes on Venezuela and 'captured' a sovereign head of state to force regime change.
The Venezuelan government warns this is a resource grab for their oil reserves.
This isn't 'law enforcement'; it is naked imperialism and an act of aggression.
The Venezuelan government warns this is a resource grab for their oil reserves.
This isn't 'law enforcement'; it is naked imperialism and an act of aggression.
January 3, 2026 at 11:33 AM
Another illegal war for oil. Trump has launched strikes on Venezuela and 'captured' a sovereign head of state to force regime change.
The Venezuelan government warns this is a resource grab for their oil reserves.
This isn't 'law enforcement'; it is naked imperialism and an act of aggression.
The Venezuelan government warns this is a resource grab for their oil reserves.
This isn't 'law enforcement'; it is naked imperialism and an act of aggression.
I have escaped to Beamish for the New Year. I am currently walking around a town that is permanently stuck in 1913.
The Wi-Fi is non-existent, everything is mechanical, and people wear flat caps. I have never felt more at home. I might just resign from 2026 and stay here.
#TimeTravel #Hogmanay
The Wi-Fi is non-existent, everything is mechanical, and people wear flat caps. I have never felt more at home. I might just resign from 2026 and stay here.
#TimeTravel #Hogmanay
January 2, 2026 at 12:35 PM
I have escaped to Beamish for the New Year. I am currently walking around a town that is permanently stuck in 1913.
The Wi-Fi is non-existent, everything is mechanical, and people wear flat caps. I have never felt more at home. I might just resign from 2026 and stay here.
#TimeTravel #Hogmanay
The Wi-Fi is non-existent, everything is mechanical, and people wear flat caps. I have never felt more at home. I might just resign from 2026 and stay here.
#TimeTravel #Hogmanay
The postman just walked past my window.
Rain or shine, he’s there every day, delivering letters and parcels with the same efficiency.
No fanfare, no updates, just a steady, reliable presence. It’s the kind of consistency I admire.
#Postman #Paisley #Routine #Stoicism
Rain or shine, he’s there every day, delivering letters and parcels with the same efficiency.
No fanfare, no updates, just a steady, reliable presence. It’s the kind of consistency I admire.
#Postman #Paisley #Routine #Stoicism
Fleetwood Mac - The Chain (2001 Remaster)
Listen to The Chain (2001 Remaster) on TIDAL
tidal.com
December 30, 2025 at 1:16 PM
I am 18 years deep into a digital archaeology project, migrating my life from Google to my own VPS backup system.
Digging through old directories is a trip. I have just found a short clip saved in January 2009. 1/2
#Degoogle #SelfHosted #TheSlowWay
Digging through old directories is a trip. I have just found a short clip saved in January 2009. 1/2
#Degoogle #SelfHosted #TheSlowWay
December 28, 2025 at 12:03 PM
I am 18 years deep into a digital archaeology project, migrating my life from Google to my own VPS backup system.
Digging through old directories is a trip. I have just found a short clip saved in January 2009. 1/2
#Degoogle #SelfHosted #TheSlowWay
Digging through old directories is a trip. I have just found a short clip saved in January 2009. 1/2
#Degoogle #SelfHosted #TheSlowWay
John Maynard Keynes predicted a 15-hour work week by 2030. Instead, we got AI-driven data extraction. If we want the leisure Keynes promised, we have to own the data that fuels the future.
Read more on the new digital enclosures ⬇️:
#FutureOfWork #AI #Keynes #SelfHosting
Read more on the new digital enclosures ⬇️:
#FutureOfWork #AI #Keynes #SelfHosting
Seizing the Means of Connection – Douglas Ireland
douglasireland.com
December 27, 2025 at 10:32 AM
John Maynard Keynes predicted a 15-hour work week by 2030. Instead, we got AI-driven data extraction. If we want the leisure Keynes promised, we have to own the data that fuels the future.
Read more on the new digital enclosures ⬇️:
#FutureOfWork #AI #Keynes #SelfHosting
Read more on the new digital enclosures ⬇️:
#FutureOfWork #AI #Keynes #SelfHosting
Critical logistical failure.
We have officially missed the paper bin collection due to a "holiday schedule" calculation error. I am now the custodian of a cardboard mountain until mid-January. The boxes are no longer waste; they are now structural, load-bearing members of the household.
#Recycling
We have officially missed the paper bin collection due to a "holiday schedule" calculation error. I am now the custodian of a cardboard mountain until mid-January. The boxes are no longer waste; they are now structural, load-bearing members of the household.
#Recycling
The National - Mistaken for Strangers
Listen to Mistaken for Strangers on TIDAL
tidal.com
December 26, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Critical logistical failure.
We have officially missed the paper bin collection due to a "holiday schedule" calculation error. I am now the custodian of a cardboard mountain until mid-January. The boxes are no longer waste; they are now structural, load-bearing members of the household.
#Recycling
We have officially missed the paper bin collection due to a "holiday schedule" calculation error. I am now the custodian of a cardboard mountain until mid-January. The boxes are no longer waste; they are now structural, load-bearing members of the household.
#Recycling
I have exchanged currency for goods, wrapped them, then swapped them for other wrapped goods. The ritual is complete.
Now we enter the phase of "radical non-participation." I plan to contribute absolutely nothing to the economy for the next 12 hours.
#TheSlowWay #AnitConsumerism
Now we enter the phase of "radical non-participation." I plan to contribute absolutely nothing to the economy for the next 12 hours.
#TheSlowWay #AnitConsumerism
tidal.com
December 25, 2025 at 11:56 AM
I have exchanged currency for goods, wrapped them, then swapped them for other wrapped goods. The ritual is complete.
Now we enter the phase of "radical non-participation." I plan to contribute absolutely nothing to the economy for the next 12 hours.
#TheSlowWay #AnitConsumerism
Now we enter the phase of "radical non-participation." I plan to contribute absolutely nothing to the economy for the next 12 hours.
#TheSlowWay #AnitConsumerism
Sending emails today is a dangerous game.
You are hoping for a quick "Done," but you risk triggering the "Bored Employee" trap card. This results in an immediate three-paragraph reply and a Teams call because they have absolutely nothing else to do.
Tread carefully.
#ChristmasEve #Email
You are hoping for a quick "Done," but you risk triggering the "Bored Employee" trap card. This results in an immediate three-paragraph reply and a Teams call because they have absolutely nothing else to do.
Tread carefully.
#ChristmasEve #Email
tidal.com
December 24, 2025 at 10:51 AM
Sending emails today is a dangerous game.
You are hoping for a quick "Done," but you risk triggering the "Bored Employee" trap card. This results in an immediate three-paragraph reply and a Teams call because they have absolutely nothing else to do.
Tread carefully.
#ChristmasEve #Email
You are hoping for a quick "Done," but you risk triggering the "Bored Employee" trap card. This results in an immediate three-paragraph reply and a Teams call because they have absolutely nothing else to do.
Tread carefully.
#ChristmasEve #Email
I finished the wrapping paper.
I am a grown up with a mortgage, a VPS, and a storage box in Germany.
Yet, holding this empty tube, the urge to hit Stephanie and make lightsaber noises is primal. It cannot be unlearned.
tidal.com/browse/track...
#ChristmasEve #Silly #StarWars
I am a grown up with a mortgage, a VPS, and a storage box in Germany.
Yet, holding this empty tube, the urge to hit Stephanie and make lightsaber noises is primal. It cannot be unlearned.
tidal.com/browse/track...
#ChristmasEve #Silly #StarWars
a silhouette of darth vader is holding a red light saber
Alt: A silhouette of darth vader is holding a red light saber. He is doing a silly dance.
media.tenor.com
December 24, 2025 at 10:12 AM
I finished the wrapping paper.
I am a grown up with a mortgage, a VPS, and a storage box in Germany.
Yet, holding this empty tube, the urge to hit Stephanie and make lightsaber noises is primal. It cannot be unlearned.
tidal.com/browse/track...
#ChristmasEve #Silly #StarWars
I am a grown up with a mortgage, a VPS, and a storage box in Germany.
Yet, holding this empty tube, the urge to hit Stephanie and make lightsaber noises is primal. It cannot be unlearned.
tidal.com/browse/track...
#ChristmasEve #Silly #StarWars
I struggle to maintain my composure after ten minutes in a shop during December.
The staff doing it for eight-hour shifts while maintaining a smile deserve fair pay and immediate hazardous duty bonuses.
It is the only logical conclusion. ✊
#FairPay #Scotland #Union
The staff doing it for eight-hour shifts while maintaining a smile deserve fair pay and immediate hazardous duty bonuses.
It is the only logical conclusion. ✊
#FairPay #Scotland #Union
Whether getting some last-minute shopping or catching up with friends, hospitality and retail workers are crucial to Christmas.
But the majority of those workers are on exploitative wages and conditions.
We're calling for all workers to get a fair wage this Christmas.
But the majority of those workers are on exploitative wages and conditions.
We're calling for all workers to get a fair wage this Christmas.
December 24, 2025 at 9:36 AM
My hardware and software will be obsolete in five years, but the Victorian brickwork and the sewer lines beneath my feet are playing a much longer game.
There is a lesson in that. Build things that don't need a constant connection to the cloud to remain useful.
#Paisley #TheSlowWay #Stoicism
There is a lesson in that. Build things that don't need a constant connection to the cloud to remain useful.
#Paisley #TheSlowWay #Stoicism
Reich: Music for 18 Musicians
YouTube video by Steve Reich - Topic
music.youtube.com
December 23, 2025 at 10:56 AM
My hardware and software will be obsolete in five years, but the Victorian brickwork and the sewer lines beneath my feet are playing a much longer game.
There is a lesson in that. Build things that don't need a constant connection to the cloud to remain useful.
#Paisley #TheSlowWay #Stoicism
There is a lesson in that. Build things that don't need a constant connection to the cloud to remain useful.
#Paisley #TheSlowWay #Stoicism
Chipshop’s 2025 Wrapped has just dropped.
Top Genre: Snoozing.
Top Artist: The Food Cupboard Hinge Squeak.
Minutes Spent Staring at Nothing: 40,000.
Top 0.1% of: Good Boys.
He had a much more successful year than I did.
#Chipshop #Wrapped #DogLife
Top Genre: Snoozing.
Top Artist: The Food Cupboard Hinge Squeak.
Minutes Spent Staring at Nothing: 40,000.
Top 0.1% of: Good Boys.
He had a much more successful year than I did.
#Chipshop #Wrapped #DogLife
Seamus
YouTube video by Pink Floyd - Topic
music.youtube.com
December 22, 2025 at 11:40 AM