Sooz Kempner
@soozuk.bsky.social
"Comedian". Doom in Doctor Who. Host @mysteryontherocks.bsky.social & Long Distance, Bit Weird (https://longdistancebitweird.podbean.com)
Acting: Foundry Management VO: The Joneses
For all enquiries/brand partnerships: [email protected]
she/her
Acting: Foundry Management VO: The Joneses
For all enquiries/brand partnerships: [email protected]
she/her
Pinned
LEICESTER COMEDY FESTIVAL!
This is not really the show advertised so if you saw it already you can totally come again. It's half what's listed, half a WIP for my new 2026 show about finding your voice, silencing trolls, and Princess Diana.
TICKETS: events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/sooz-...
This is not really the show advertised so if you saw it already you can totally come again. It's half what's listed, half a WIP for my new 2026 show about finding your voice, silencing trolls, and Princess Diana.
TICKETS: events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/sooz-...
HOW ON EARTH IS THIS IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS?!? Can’t wait to see you there, Leicester.
Every day Peter Mandelson worked to undermine Jeremy Corbyn, be it via a phone call, an email or simply being best pals with the biggest paedophile.
February 8, 2026 at 4:16 PM
Every day Peter Mandelson worked to undermine Jeremy Corbyn, be it via a phone call, an email or simply being best pals with the biggest paedophile.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
credit where credit is due, the staging of this, triggering months of government anxiety about what kompromat he'd departed with stashed in that box is all-time leaving a job like a petty bitch stuff. it's aspirational
McSweeney could never be as iconic as Cummings leaving Downing Street through the front door with his cunty box. What a queen.
February 8, 2026 at 3:26 PM
credit where credit is due, the staging of this, triggering months of government anxiety about what kompromat he'd departed with stashed in that box is all-time leaving a job like a petty bitch stuff. it's aspirational
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
morgan mcsweeney has died,
February 8, 2026 at 3:17 PM
morgan mcsweeney has died,
McSweeney could never be as iconic as Cummings leaving Downing Street through the front door with his cunty box. What a queen.
February 8, 2026 at 3:24 PM
McSweeney could never be as iconic as Cummings leaving Downing Street through the front door with his cunty box. What a queen.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
If only there were someone in a senior position of power in this relationship
May 22, 2025 at 8:30 PM
If only there were someone in a senior position of power in this relationship
The defeat Labour suffers in 2029 will make 2019 look like 1997.
February 8, 2026 at 3:15 PM
The defeat Labour suffers in 2029 will make 2019 look like 1997.
The Rest is Politics is going to be the first ever podcast to be Chief of Staff at Downing Street.
February 8, 2026 at 3:14 PM
The Rest is Politics is going to be the first ever podcast to be Chief of Staff at Downing Street.
Morgan McSweeney's genius is twofold: he is literally amazing at 1) despising the left and 2) giving exclusives to journalists who also despise the left. I can't believe those smarts didn't have staying power!
February 8, 2026 at 2:58 PM
Morgan McSweeney's genius is twofold: he is literally amazing at 1) despising the left and 2) giving exclusives to journalists who also despise the left. I can't believe those smarts didn't have staying power!
Starmer's statement thanks McSweeney for "turning the party around after one of the worst defeats in its history".
Labour currently polling at about 17%.
Labour currently polling at about 17%.
February 8, 2026 at 2:55 PM
Starmer's statement thanks McSweeney for "turning the party around after one of the worst defeats in its history".
Labour currently polling at about 17%.
Labour currently polling at about 17%.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
I'll get in trouble for saying this, but the Milan Olympic mascots have ZERO sex appeal.
February 8, 2026 at 2:30 PM
I'll get in trouble for saying this, but the Milan Olympic mascots have ZERO sex appeal.
🚨BREAKING🚨 Sir Keir Starmer has appointed Peter Mandelson as his new Downing Street Chief of Staff.
February 8, 2026 at 2:27 PM
🚨BREAKING🚨 Sir Keir Starmer has appointed Peter Mandelson as his new Downing Street Chief of Staff.
FUCKING HELL! Literally five hours Pat McFadden was on #Kuenssberg saying there was no reason to get rid of McSweeney AND NOW THE QUIET LITTLE SHIT'S OUT! Gonna be a big diarrhoea week for Sir Keir, lads!
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
Morgan McSweeney resigns as Keir Starmer’s chief of staff
Longtime aide departs after seemingly botched No 10 effort to shore up PM’s position against supposed plotters
www.theguardian.com
February 8, 2026 at 2:20 PM
FUCKING HELL! Literally five hours Pat McFadden was on #Kuenssberg saying there was no reason to get rid of McSweeney AND NOW THE QUIET LITTLE SHIT'S OUT! Gonna be a big diarrhoea week for Sir Keir, lads!
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
Something I thought was posh when I was a kid was: a serving hatch between the kitchen and the living room. If I was in a house and they had one of those I thought "ahhhh ambassador you are really spoiling us" (and would also try and climb through it).
February 8, 2026 at 2:10 PM
Something I thought was posh when I was a kid was: a serving hatch between the kitchen and the living room. If I was in a house and they had one of those I thought "ahhhh ambassador you are really spoiling us" (and would also try and climb through it).
"4th place. The worst place to finish in an Olympics"
No it isn't. Imagine coming last. Haha fucking useless.
No it isn't. Imagine coming last. Haha fucking useless.
February 8, 2026 at 1:15 PM
"4th place. The worst place to finish in an Olympics"
No it isn't. Imagine coming last. Haha fucking useless.
No it isn't. Imagine coming last. Haha fucking useless.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
This! Labour’s leadership is being talked about as if it’s some kind of poisoned chalice.
In reality it’s a chance to take over the first term of a government with a huge majority. It’s the political opportunity of a lifetime.
In reality it’s a chance to take over the first term of a government with a huge majority. It’s the political opportunity of a lifetime.
Yet this is a government with three years left to run and an enormous Commons majority. For all the problems, there is an enormous opportunity there for someone with the political nous to take it and use it.
Starmer's reported condition - incredibly unpopular, shorn of authority, probably un-reelectable and yet will stagger on for want of an alternative - is just the new normal of how Britain is governed. It was also true for two-thirds of May's premiership, half of Johnson's and all of Sunak's.
February 8, 2026 at 11:27 AM
This! Labour’s leadership is being talked about as if it’s some kind of poisoned chalice.
In reality it’s a chance to take over the first term of a government with a huge majority. It’s the political opportunity of a lifetime.
In reality it’s a chance to take over the first term of a government with a huge majority. It’s the political opportunity of a lifetime.
Lucy Powell has turned off replies/quotes on this post where she tells Zack Polanski to stand down in Gorton & Denton. I think this is tactically disastrous...if the Greens get one more vote than Labour on Feb 26th it'll just invite endless requests for LABOUR to stand down in future (from me).
February 8, 2026 at 11:19 AM
Lucy Powell has turned off replies/quotes on this post where she tells Zack Polanski to stand down in Gorton & Denton. I think this is tactically disastrous...if the Greens get one more vote than Labour on Feb 26th it'll just invite endless requests for LABOUR to stand down in future (from me).
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
It is getting very boring being told that "the youth love reform on tiktok" with absolutely no evidence whatsoever.
🗳️ How young men would vote in #GE2029:
🟢 Grn: 30% (+18)
🔴 Lab: 21% (-19)
🟠 Lib: 17% (+1)
🔵 Con: 12% (+2)
➡️ Ref: 12% (=)
Via @YouGov, 14 Dec - 9 Jan (+/- vs GE2024)
🟢 Grn: 30% (+18)
🔴 Lab: 21% (-19)
🟠 Lib: 17% (+1)
🔵 Con: 12% (+2)
➡️ Ref: 12% (=)
Via @YouGov, 14 Dec - 9 Jan (+/- vs GE2024)
February 8, 2026 at 10:46 AM
It is getting very boring being told that "the youth love reform on tiktok" with absolutely no evidence whatsoever.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Like, this is Trevor Phillips talking about the largest fascist mobilisation in Britain since before World War II. And this dickhead was the head of the national equality body! Does this not tell us our problems are somewhat deeper than what arse goes in which chair, in front of whichever TV camera.
January 31, 2026 at 2:27 PM
Like, this is Trevor Phillips talking about the largest fascist mobilisation in Britain since before World War II. And this dickhead was the head of the national equality body! Does this not tell us our problems are somewhat deeper than what arse goes in which chair, in front of whichever TV camera.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
It's hard to overstate the degree to which the general public is being lied to about trans people
Alex Massie trumped up a fake campaign in the times to claim hundreds of rape convictions for women in the justice system were actually trans women despite the numbers covering several hundred more convictions than there are trans women in prison for any crime.
To understand how much Alex Massie actually cares about women's safety: when I called out his transphobe-in-arms Nick Cohen for multiple acts of sexual misconduct against cis women, which eventually got him sacked, Massie went berserk at me.
Transphobia is a men's rights movement in drag.
Transphobia is a men's rights movement in drag.
February 8, 2026 at 10:14 AM
It's hard to overstate the degree to which the general public is being lied to about trans people
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Excellent work by Reform at Kent Council, who made a £40m saving by briefly proposing to spend £40m on something then deciding not to. Using this model, every Reform council can save £billions!
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
February 8, 2026 at 9:49 AM
Excellent work by Reform at Kent Council, who made a £40m saving by briefly proposing to spend £40m on something then deciding not to. Using this model, every Reform council can save £billions!
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
I have told a few MPs this. I genuinely feel a lot of adults hate the existence and needs of young people. Then they act surprised/bewildered that these kids are anxious/depressed.
Kids can't hang out in parks. They can't hang out at the mall. They don't have 3rd spaces because no one wants kids around and then we are surprised when they rely on SM for connection.
If you take that away, what do they have left?
If you take that away, what do they have left?
www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...
The impacts of locking under 16 yos from their social media networks are now beginning to bite for those young people who relied on them for social connection
The impacts of locking under 16 yos from their social media networks are now beginning to bite for those young people who relied on them for social connection
February 8, 2026 at 9:37 AM
I have told a few MPs this. I genuinely feel a lot of adults hate the existence and needs of young people. Then they act surprised/bewildered that these kids are anxious/depressed.
People currently spluttering that you can't criticise Starmer for things Peter Mandelson did are the same people who spent several years treating antisemitic tweets from anonymous 50-follower accounts like they were press releases direct from Labour head office.
February 8, 2026 at 9:24 AM
People currently spluttering that you can't criticise Starmer for things Peter Mandelson did are the same people who spent several years treating antisemitic tweets from anonymous 50-follower accounts like they were press releases direct from Labour head office.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
This is centrism in microcosm.
Starmer can't possible support a genocide because his job title says Good Guy. New Labour can't be in Epstein's circle because of reasons. The status quo can't possible be rotten its just temporarily damaged by one guy.
Starmer can't possible support a genocide because his job title says Good Guy. New Labour can't be in Epstein's circle because of reasons. The status quo can't possible be rotten its just temporarily damaged by one guy.
A human rights lawyer supports genocide? 🙄
Besties with a Nazi paedo?🙄
Listen to yourself.
Mate, he inherited an unmitigated disaster, and they’ve been in power less than 18 months. Most of which has been globally tumultuous due to the 800Ib gorilla in the room sucking up all the oxygen.
Besties with a Nazi paedo?🙄
Listen to yourself.
Mate, he inherited an unmitigated disaster, and they’ve been in power less than 18 months. Most of which has been globally tumultuous due to the 800Ib gorilla in the room sucking up all the oxygen.
February 8, 2026 at 8:34 AM
This is centrism in microcosm.
Starmer can't possible support a genocide because his job title says Good Guy. New Labour can't be in Epstein's circle because of reasons. The status quo can't possible be rotten its just temporarily damaged by one guy.
Starmer can't possible support a genocide because his job title says Good Guy. New Labour can't be in Epstein's circle because of reasons. The status quo can't possible be rotten its just temporarily damaged by one guy.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
i don't get people because why would you criticise someone for being a 'porn model' when you're so clearly a dedicated enjoyer of her work?
You must have missed the porn flicks she was in girl on girl. Just google it. It's been there for decades.
February 7, 2026 at 9:14 PM
i don't get people because why would you criticise someone for being a 'porn model' when you're so clearly a dedicated enjoyer of her work?
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
ill bet it sucks and is really embarrassing if youre Dr. Frankenstein and you're on a first date and your monster runs up yelling like "why did you make me!?" and "build me a wife!" and stuff
February 7, 2026 at 8:55 PM
ill bet it sucks and is really embarrassing if youre Dr. Frankenstein and you're on a first date and your monster runs up yelling like "why did you make me!?" and "build me a wife!" and stuff