Sooz Kempner
banner
soozuk.bsky.social
Sooz Kempner
@soozuk.bsky.social
"Comedian". Doom in Doctor Who. Host @mysteryontherocks.bsky.social & Long Distance, Bit Weird (https://longdistancebitweird.podbean.com)

Acting: Foundry Management VO: The Joneses

For all enquiries/brand partnerships: [email protected]

she/her
Pinned
HOW ON EARTH IS THIS IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS?!? Can’t wait to see you there, Leicester.
LEICESTER COMEDY FESTIVAL!

This is not really the show advertised so if you saw it already you can totally come again. It's half what's listed, half a WIP for my new 2026 show about finding your voice, silencing trolls, and Princess Diana.

TICKETS: events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/sooz-...
apology accepted
February 4, 2026 at 5:33 PM
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
That clip of Starmer saying “Yes it did” in response to Badenoch asking if the briefing on Mandelson mentioned his ongoing friendship with Epstein will never, ever go away
February 4, 2026 at 5:05 PM
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
The behavior of our big beautiful billionaires over the past several decades is psychologically what I can only describe as "Crying out for consequences." They can't stop themselves and deep down they need to be stopped. They need it as much as we do
February 4, 2026 at 5:01 PM
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
After a lengthy appeals process and productive discussion with the Blue Sky safety team I will no loinger be sending George Thorogood lyrics to beautiful women on here via DM. Thank you all
February 4, 2026 at 5:02 PM
boy gap
lmao look who's testifying in congress today
February 4, 2026 at 5:00 PM
He can't even do cunty right. JD Vance is always in final boss uptight mode. He can claim he's a loosey-goosey shitpost dgaf legend but he will forever be the prefect even the other prefects want nothing to do with.
Reporter: Do you plan to apologize to the family of Alex Pretti?

Vance: For what?
February 4, 2026 at 4:54 PM
Mandelson fucking LOVED this guy! This would be like me wearing a Queen t-shirt.
February 4, 2026 at 4:48 PM
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Sorry I don't think I'll ever get over the concept of "an Epstein-branded top", what do you MEAN that's a thing that exists???
losing my mind at this photo, it's literally the 'my t-shirt' meme
February 4, 2026 at 4:30 PM
m8 we know that we can see it
February 4, 2026 at 4:31 PM
February 4, 2026 at 4:27 PM
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Gonna posting this a lot over the coming weeks.
February 4, 2026 at 3:12 PM
ah shiiiiit
February 4, 2026 at 3:07 PM
No I'm not, posted loads m8.
February 4, 2026 at 3:06 PM
RIGHT!?
February 4, 2026 at 1:32 PM
oh the BURN of lo-res sir keir!!!!
February 4, 2026 at 12:59 PM
Emperor Tony Blair's a bit quiet.
February 4, 2026 at 12:55 PM
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
the cope coming from 20 follower starmer fans is going to be like manna from heaven
February 4, 2026 at 12:50 PM
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Guys guys, hear me out, what if it's just a comms issue?
February 4, 2026 at 12:47 PM
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Wes Streeting saying on Today that Mandelson is ‘not the man we thought he was’ but the trouble is, he is exactly the man we thought, just on a much worse scale than almost anyone thought. And there is an alternative world where none of this is this govt’s problem, because they never gave him a job
February 4, 2026 at 8:16 AM
nah
February 4, 2026 at 12:42 PM
Well the Johnsons, Mays, Sunaks etc are Tories. The cuntery is built in, we'd never vote for it. Labour is supposed to be a party we feel comfortable supporting. And this is what they've done with power.
February 4, 2026 at 12:37 PM
Can't believe THIS guy was working against the Labour government at one point, a different point I mean. It is such a surprise.
February 4, 2026 at 12:36 PM
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Guess he took a couple days off? labourlist.org/2017/02/mand...
February 4, 2026 at 12:33 PM
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Instead he's conveniently utilising Mandelson as a lightning rod and scapegoat for the massive institutional corruption that enabled him. Just a bad apple, folks! Nothing to see here! Don't look at how rotten the barrel is!
If Starmer is serious (he's not, ofc) he'd introduce strict new anti-lobbying laws, bring in firewalls against revolving doors, and undertake a deep, unflinching investigation into financial and influence ties in politics, with criminal sanctions.
February 4, 2026 at 12:25 PM
It's gonna be one then the other, definitely. The order remains to be seen.
February 4, 2026 at 12:25 PM