Sooz Kempner
@soozuk.bsky.social
"Comedian". Doom in Doctor Who. Host @mysteryontherocks.bsky.social & Long Distance, Bit Weird (https://longdistancebitweird.podbean.com)
Acting: Foundry Management VO: The Joneses
For all enquiries/brand partnerships: [email protected]
she/her
Acting: Foundry Management VO: The Joneses
For all enquiries/brand partnerships: [email protected]
she/her
Pinned
LEICESTER COMEDY FESTIVAL!
This is not really the show advertised so if you saw it already you can totally come again. It's half what's listed, half a WIP for my new 2026 show about finding your voice, silencing trolls, and Princess Diana.
TICKETS: events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/sooz-...
This is not really the show advertised so if you saw it already you can totally come again. It's half what's listed, half a WIP for my new 2026 show about finding your voice, silencing trolls, and Princess Diana.
TICKETS: events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/sooz-...
HOW ON EARTH IS THIS IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS?!? Can’t wait to see you there, Leicester.
thank FUCK for that
February 6, 2026 at 3:10 PM
thank FUCK for that
People keep saying "the only person who has gone to prison for any of this...is a woman" and yeah I know what you mean, all these abusive men in power continue to walk free. But Ghislaine Maxwell is ALSO a paedophile rapist sex trafficking monster and her life in prison is like being in a resort.
February 6, 2026 at 2:43 PM
People keep saying "the only person who has gone to prison for any of this...is a woman" and yeah I know what you mean, all these abusive men in power continue to walk free. But Ghislaine Maxwell is ALSO a paedophile rapist sex trafficking monster and her life in prison is like being in a resort.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
You're telling me that Morgan McSweeney might lose his job and Wes Streeting might never be prime minister, because they were too close to Peter Mandelson? oh no that's terrible
February 6, 2026 at 10:59 AM
You're telling me that Morgan McSweeney might lose his job and Wes Streeting might never be prime minister, because they were too close to Peter Mandelson? oh no that's terrible
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
The trouble is that all these stories become news stories when it is too late - “in the future everyone will have been against this” - never warning to stop the damage , always reported after the destruction - the little boy only cries wolf when the blood of the flock flows down the hill
February 6, 2026 at 11:07 AM
The trouble is that all these stories become news stories when it is too late - “in the future everyone will have been against this” - never warning to stop the damage , always reported after the destruction - the little boy only cries wolf when the blood of the flock flows down the hill
Last year I ticked something off my bucket list: Machfest! Every comic knows it's the GREATEST comedy festival and I just LOVED it. So I'm BERSERK to go back! If you fancy making the trip the festival is WELL worth it.
May 2nd @ 8pm
SOOZ KEMPNER: IMPOSTER
machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2026/so...
May 2nd @ 8pm
SOOZ KEMPNER: IMPOSTER
machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2026/so...
February 6, 2026 at 1:04 PM
Last year I ticked something off my bucket list: Machfest! Every comic knows it's the GREATEST comedy festival and I just LOVED it. So I'm BERSERK to go back! If you fancy making the trip the festival is WELL worth it.
May 2nd @ 8pm
SOOZ KEMPNER: IMPOSTER
machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2026/so...
May 2nd @ 8pm
SOOZ KEMPNER: IMPOSTER
machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2026/so...
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Anyone talking about GREENS splitting the vote is talking through their arse.
Every major 🇬🇧 bookie has Hannah Spencer (Green candidate) to win. Every one has Labour as 3rd favourite.
If anyone's going to split the anti-Refuk vote, it's going to be Starmerrhoids who waste their vote on Labour.
Every major 🇬🇧 bookie has Hannah Spencer (Green candidate) to win. Every one has Labour as 3rd favourite.
If anyone's going to split the anti-Refuk vote, it's going to be Starmerrhoids who waste their vote on Labour.
February 5, 2026 at 4:25 PM
Anyone talking about GREENS splitting the vote is talking through their arse.
Every major 🇬🇧 bookie has Hannah Spencer (Green candidate) to win. Every one has Labour as 3rd favourite.
If anyone's going to split the anti-Refuk vote, it's going to be Starmerrhoids who waste their vote on Labour.
Every major 🇬🇧 bookie has Hannah Spencer (Green candidate) to win. Every one has Labour as 3rd favourite.
If anyone's going to split the anti-Refuk vote, it's going to be Starmerrhoids who waste their vote on Labour.
Happy 70th Birthday @annakempner.bsky.social. Congrats on having such an amazing daughter. Here you are in 1990 when you were Temu Diana.
February 6, 2026 at 12:25 PM
Happy 70th Birthday @annakempner.bsky.social. Congrats on having such an amazing daughter. Here you are in 1990 when you were Temu Diana.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
If Labour Together come out of this unscathed its because the journo class can't afford for it to die.
February 6, 2026 at 10:55 AM
If Labour Together come out of this unscathed its because the journo class can't afford for it to die.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Holy shit woke up to the fact that NJ Dems might have just nominated a socialist to the NJ-11. I mean I voted for her and she will be my rep if this sticks but even at the polling place I was doubtful and HERE WE ARE.
It’s been a long time coming, but a change is gonna come. 😭
It’s been a long time coming, but a change is gonna come. 😭
February 6, 2026 at 10:43 AM
Holy shit woke up to the fact that NJ Dems might have just nominated a socialist to the NJ-11. I mean I voted for her and she will be my rep if this sticks but even at the polling place I was doubtful and HERE WE ARE.
It’s been a long time coming, but a change is gonna come. 😭
It’s been a long time coming, but a change is gonna come. 😭
me screaming when there was a shot of some polo in Rivals season 2 trailer #iykyk
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeDy...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeDy...
Rivals Season 2 | Official Teaser | Disney+ UK
YouTube video by Disney Plus UK
www.youtube.com
February 6, 2026 at 10:55 AM
me screaming when there was a shot of some polo in Rivals season 2 trailer #iykyk
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeDy...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeDy...
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
The lovely Timothée sat in our office on Saturday. A powerful image. Dream big and Save The PCC!
February 6, 2026 at 10:00 AM
The lovely Timothée sat in our office on Saturday. A powerful image. Dream big and Save The PCC!
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Pressure building on govt to come clean about Mandelson's role in bringing US spy-tech firm Palantir into the heart of our NHS.
The fingerprints of Mandelson and his lobbying firm are all over these deals.
The rot goes to the heart of this Labour govt
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
The fingerprints of Mandelson and his lobbying firm are all over these deals.
The rot goes to the heart of this Labour govt
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
Calls to halt UK Palantir contracts grow amid ‘lack of transparency’ over deals
Opposition MPs urge Labour to pause public contracts with the US tech firm after attempts to examine deals blocked
www.theguardian.com
February 6, 2026 at 9:47 AM
Pressure building on govt to come clean about Mandelson's role in bringing US spy-tech firm Palantir into the heart of our NHS.
The fingerprints of Mandelson and his lobbying firm are all over these deals.
The rot goes to the heart of this Labour govt
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
The fingerprints of Mandelson and his lobbying firm are all over these deals.
The rot goes to the heart of this Labour govt
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Modest Maus
February 6, 2026 at 9:02 AM
Modest Maus
The Starmerites are gradually fading away. There are a few left but all they say is "you can't HONESTLY say he is as bad as Johnson!" They have so little left. Sad.
February 6, 2026 at 9:11 AM
The Starmerites are gradually fading away. There are a few left but all they say is "you can't HONESTLY say he is as bad as Johnson!" They have so little left. Sad.
Sometimes I put myself through The Newsagents coz you should consume a range of media and witnessed a nauseating display from Emily Maitlis gooey with admiration for how Starmer took questions from the press yesterday coz he didn't react like Trump. The bar is in hell. Lewis Goodall was like "..."
February 6, 2026 at 9:04 AM
Sometimes I put myself through The Newsagents coz you should consume a range of media and witnessed a nauseating display from Emily Maitlis gooey with admiration for how Starmer took questions from the press yesterday coz he didn't react like Trump. The bar is in hell. Lewis Goodall was like "..."
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Yes, if we want to examine the topic of “Morgan McSweeney, Peter Mandelson and destructive, deeply dishonest and highly problematic briefing campaigns to a complicit press” then I think we can probably go back a bit further than late 2024, can’t we.
February 6, 2026 at 8:36 AM
Yes, if we want to examine the topic of “Morgan McSweeney, Peter Mandelson and destructive, deeply dishonest and highly problematic briefing campaigns to a complicit press” then I think we can probably go back a bit further than late 2024, can’t we.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
i always love it when liberals critique me for being part of some leftist hive mind when like, I voted exclusively for Democrats. I told other people I thought it was best to vote for Democrats.
The Democrats lost. And they didn't lose because leftists refused to vote for them.
The Democrats lost. And they didn't lose because leftists refused to vote for them.
February 6, 2026 at 7:25 AM
i always love it when liberals critique me for being part of some leftist hive mind when like, I voted exclusively for Democrats. I told other people I thought it was best to vote for Democrats.
The Democrats lost. And they didn't lose because leftists refused to vote for them.
The Democrats lost. And they didn't lose because leftists refused to vote for them.
Can't stop laughing at Keir Starmer's defence being "I asked the Prince of Darkness 'are you telling me the truth?' and he said 'yes' and now I have discovered that I was LIED to by the Prince of Darkness! The Prince of Darkness LIED to me!"
February 6, 2026 at 8:04 AM
Can't stop laughing at Keir Starmer's defence being "I asked the Prince of Darkness 'are you telling me the truth?' and he said 'yes' and now I have discovered that I was LIED to by the Prince of Darkness! The Prince of Darkness LIED to me!"
✨NEW EPISODE ALERT✨This week @mbalazo.bsky.social and I are LIVE FROM THE TRAVELODGE! I am sick, Michael is here, we have a glass of red and share information about low-budget hotels.
🎧 podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/l... 🎧
🎧 podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/l... 🎧
Long Distance, Bit Weird
Comedy Interviews Podcast · Updated weekly · Comedians and long-distance lovers Sooz Kempner (Doctor Who’s Doom’s Day, Dinner With the Parents) and Michael Balazo (Schitt’s Creek, Evil Men) live on different continents. Seeing as they spend hour…
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/long-distance-bit-weird/id1860132314?i=1000748449315🎧
February 6, 2026 at 7:44 AM
✨NEW EPISODE ALERT✨This week @mbalazo.bsky.social and I are LIVE FROM THE TRAVELODGE! I am sick, Michael is here, we have a glass of red and share information about low-budget hotels.
🎧 podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/l... 🎧
🎧 podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/l... 🎧
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
during every full moon it is customary for someone to have a full-on transphobic meltdown on here
February 6, 2026 at 5:38 AM
during every full moon it is customary for someone to have a full-on transphobic meltdown on here
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
He’s going to destroy both companies hell yes
SPACEX AND XAI MERGER PREMISED ON CAPITAL FLOWS FOR AI STARTUP, SOURCES SAY -- WSJ
February 6, 2026 at 3:42 AM
He’s going to destroy both companies hell yes
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
The first chapter of Paul Holden's book describes what happened when the author started to ask awkward questions about the funding of Labour Together: Pippa Crerar emailed threatening him with a Guardian hit piece slandering him should he continue.
It didn't work.
But now we know why it happened.
It didn't work.
But now we know why it happened.
February 5, 2026 at 8:31 PM
The first chapter of Paul Holden's book describes what happened when the author started to ask awkward questions about the funding of Labour Together: Pippa Crerar emailed threatening him with a Guardian hit piece slandering him should he continue.
It didn't work.
But now we know why it happened.
It didn't work.
But now we know why it happened.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
it's unbelievable to me that someone could actually be a trillionaire. i think most of us have trouble internalizing how much money that truly is. let me put it in simple terms for you: a trillion dollars is three million dollars
February 5, 2026 at 8:27 PM
it's unbelievable to me that someone could actually be a trillionaire. i think most of us have trouble internalizing how much money that truly is. let me put it in simple terms for you: a trillion dollars is three million dollars
Trump this week: “As you can see, the latest drop of Epstein files toooootally exonerates me”
The incredibly redacted files: “Donald Trump threatened to have a girl he abused killed ‘like that 12-year-old’”
Can’t wait til he’s dead.
The incredibly redacted files: “Donald Trump threatened to have a girl he abused killed ‘like that 12-year-old’”
Can’t wait til he’s dead.
February 5, 2026 at 6:10 PM
Trump this week: “As you can see, the latest drop of Epstein files toooootally exonerates me”
The incredibly redacted files: “Donald Trump threatened to have a girl he abused killed ‘like that 12-year-old’”
Can’t wait til he’s dead.
The incredibly redacted files: “Donald Trump threatened to have a girl he abused killed ‘like that 12-year-old’”
Can’t wait til he’s dead.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
While reporting this, I had something happen that's never happened. A comms rep for one of the co's disputed my reporting and said what I was telling them was untrue because it was not in Grok, xAI's chatbot.
I was looking directly at the files. And this person was using AI to challenge the truth.
I was looking directly at the files. And this person was using AI to challenge the truth.
Epstein had many known connections to Silicon Valley CEOs, but less known was how he made money from those relationships.
We did a deep dive into how he got dealflow in Silicon Valley, giving him shots to invest in Coinbase, Palantir, SpaceX and other companies.
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/05/b...
We did a deep dive into how he got dealflow in Silicon Valley, giving him shots to invest in Coinbase, Palantir, SpaceX and other companies.
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/05/b...
Jeffrey Epstein’s Money Mingled With Silicon Valley Start-Ups
www.nytimes.com
February 5, 2026 at 5:38 PM
While reporting this, I had something happen that's never happened. A comms rep for one of the co's disputed my reporting and said what I was telling them was untrue because it was not in Grok, xAI's chatbot.
I was looking directly at the files. And this person was using AI to challenge the truth.
I was looking directly at the files. And this person was using AI to challenge the truth.