Sooz Kempner
@soozuk.bsky.social
"Comedian". Doom in Doctor Who. Host @mysteryontherocks.bsky.social & Long Distance, Bit Weird (https://longdistancebitweird.podbean.com)
Acting: Foundry Management VO: The Joneses
For all enquiries/brand partnerships: [email protected]
she/her
Acting: Foundry Management VO: The Joneses
For all enquiries/brand partnerships: [email protected]
she/her
Pinned
LEICESTER COMEDY FESTIVAL!
This is not really the show advertised so if you saw it already you can totally come again. It's half what's listed, half a WIP for my new 2026 show about finding your voice, silencing trolls, and Princess Diana.
TICKETS: events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/sooz-...
This is not really the show advertised so if you saw it already you can totally come again. It's half what's listed, half a WIP for my new 2026 show about finding your voice, silencing trolls, and Princess Diana.
TICKETS: events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/sooz-...
HOW ON EARTH IS THIS IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS?!? Can’t wait to see you there, Leicester.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
"Normally, you wear a shirt and tie for everything, Sir Keir. Where did you get your latest style tips from?"
"Don't know what you mean. This is what I always wear..."
"Don't know what you mean. This is what I always wear..."
February 5, 2026 at 12:38 PM
"Normally, you wear a shirt and tie for everything, Sir Keir. Where did you get your latest style tips from?"
"Don't know what you mean. This is what I always wear..."
"Don't know what you mean. This is what I always wear..."
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Peter Mandelson is responsible for such a long litany of scandals he was probably one of the factors FOR a vetting process in the first place. In fact the first question of any govt vetting process should be 'Are you or have you ever been Peter Mandelson?'
February 5, 2026 at 12:34 PM
Peter Mandelson is responsible for such a long litany of scandals he was probably one of the factors FOR a vetting process in the first place. In fact the first question of any govt vetting process should be 'Are you or have you ever been Peter Mandelson?'
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
James O’Brien on LBC tomorrow morning.
GOOD NEWS! Starmer has uncovered the one Bad Dude in politics! It's Peter Mandelson! And now he's all taken care of it's back to the business of being good and normal and just stfu and enjoy things being as good as they can possibly be!
February 5, 2026 at 11:44 AM
James O’Brien on LBC tomorrow morning.
Worse than Johnson. Johnson was all desperate self-preservation. This guy cunts off people decent people for the love of the game.
Keir Starmer attacks the racism of Reform and Matt Goodwin but then adds that "Britain has also been let down by a mindset on the left of politics that is too slow to defend core British values"
February 5, 2026 at 11:49 AM
Worse than Johnson. Johnson was all desperate self-preservation. This guy cunts off people decent people for the love of the game.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Hes actually going with "Nobody knew" lmfao
February 5, 2026 at 11:21 AM
Hes actually going with "Nobody knew" lmfao
GOOD NEWS! Starmer has uncovered the one Bad Dude in politics! It's Peter Mandelson! And now he's all taken care of it's back to the business of being good and normal and just stfu and enjoy things being as good as they can possibly be!
February 5, 2026 at 11:13 AM
GOOD NEWS! Starmer has uncovered the one Bad Dude in politics! It's Peter Mandelson! And now he's all taken care of it's back to the business of being good and normal and just stfu and enjoy things being as good as they can possibly be!
I love it when he sends out a handful of hapless ministers and 2024 intakes to repeat his position less than 24 hours before he goes back on it entirely and makes them all look like silly cunts
Wouldn’t be at all surprised for him to back McSweeny today and then u-turn in the next few days following the inevitable outcry
February 5, 2026 at 11:10 AM
I love it when he sends out a handful of hapless ministers and 2024 intakes to repeat his position less than 24 hours before he goes back on it entirely and makes them all look like silly cunts
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Bluesky is that special place where someone will take time out from serialposting about how ICE can never defeat one mid sized midwesern city to post about how ICE is going to commandeer every voting booth in the US and all is lost
February 5, 2026 at 10:47 AM
Bluesky is that special place where someone will take time out from serialposting about how ICE can never defeat one mid sized midwesern city to post about how ICE is going to commandeer every voting booth in the US and all is lost
Oh fuck yeah Labour 3.0 is gonna be LIT!
starmer speech 11am
February 5, 2026 at 10:47 AM
Oh fuck yeah Labour 3.0 is gonna be LIT!
ugh i never thought i'd say this but....graham....please....stick to the transphobic stuff
February 5, 2026 at 10:43 AM
ugh i never thought i'd say this but....graham....please....stick to the transphobic stuff
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Man goes to Grok. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Check out Elon, has dankest memes. Pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, But Grok...I am Elon.
February 5, 2026 at 10:36 AM
Man goes to Grok. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Check out Elon, has dankest memes. Pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, But Grok...I am Elon.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
I hope it goes without saying that the best way for the UK to prevent a Prime Minister Farage is for Labour to govern well, not for everyone to just keep quiet about how much they're fucking up in the hopes the country doesn't notice.
February 5, 2026 at 10:21 AM
I hope it goes without saying that the best way for the UK to prevent a Prime Minister Farage is for Labour to govern well, not for everyone to just keep quiet about how much they're fucking up in the hopes the country doesn't notice.
This was a wild time. Centrists took a position of: Angela Rayner hadn't done anything that bad, Farage had done WAY worse, and Starmer did the right thing and was really really sad to have to do so. You stupid fucking fucks.
Angela Rayner bent to just about all of current Labour's demands (derogatory). She has spent five years betraying her old values and making sure she toes the party line. And the party has Corbyn'd her anyway. I hope other leftwing MPs take this as a valuable lesson.
February 5, 2026 at 10:24 AM
This was a wild time. Centrists took a position of: Angela Rayner hadn't done anything that bad, Farage had done WAY worse, and Starmer did the right thing and was really really sad to have to do so. You stupid fucking fucks.
I understand why it's happening coz WHOA but we're brushing past how Starmer's first choice for British ambassador to the USA wasn't Peter Mandelson....it was FUCKING GEORGE FUCKING OSBORNE.
February 5, 2026 at 10:16 AM
I understand why it's happening coz WHOA but we're brushing past how Starmer's first choice for British ambassador to the USA wasn't Peter Mandelson....it was FUCKING GEORGE FUCKING OSBORNE.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Not just that nobody pushed questions: nobody wants to hear answers. They didn’t want to hear Peter and his cronies are crooks; they didn’t want to hear that e.g. losing Scotland meant the Labour right was fucked, probably forever. They didn’t want to hear the problem is chronic underinvestment.
Thinking back over five years of me asking: what exactly is Mandelson’s role in this project? And the closest I ever got to an answer was people saying Yes it’s weird, somebody should totally look into that, but apparently nobody pressing them for an answer.
Mandelson would never have been exposed by the British media if it wasn't for the US DOJ dumping all those files. They would have assisted in covering up his role instead, like they've been doing for the past 30 years. They knew what he was and they kept quiet for decades.
February 5, 2026 at 9:11 AM
Not just that nobody pushed questions: nobody wants to hear answers. They didn’t want to hear Peter and his cronies are crooks; they didn’t want to hear that e.g. losing Scotland meant the Labour right was fucked, probably forever. They didn’t want to hear the problem is chronic underinvestment.
so...uh....what's going on here then...?
![To:
jeevacation@gmail.com/jeevacation@gmail.com];
jeevacation@gmail.com/jeevacation@gmail.com]
From:
Peter Mandelson
Sent:
Wed 8/8/2012 7:43:15 PM
How is the boy doing ?](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ifpzbxv4tqigkw66tz4yrojt/bafkreiharng7nsfkch4adwjkbboehockoy5nzrrzqtoe6gifbxn2snzbbm@jpeg)
February 5, 2026 at 8:26 AM
so...uh....what's going on here then...?
All Elon ever wanted was for people to think he was funny. He tried to buy that by buying Twitter. It didn't work. He made some half-arsed memes. That didn't work either. He went onstage with Dave Chapelle. People booed so much he had a breakdown.
Elon is sad because he isn't funny.
Elon is sad because he isn't funny.
February 5, 2026 at 3:06 AM
All Elon ever wanted was for people to think he was funny. He tried to buy that by buying Twitter. It didn't work. He made some half-arsed memes. That didn't work either. He went onstage with Dave Chapelle. People booed so much he had a breakdown.
Elon is sad because he isn't funny.
Elon is sad because he isn't funny.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
The way people quote posted me like I am stupid as fuck when I said the Dems were fucking us with their 2 week extension
"except in extraordinary and unusual circumstances" is a big enough loophole for a family of elephants to walk through. www.huffpost.com/entry/democr...
Democrats Ease Up On 1 Of Their Biggest ICE Demands
Masks might still be OK in "extraordinary and unusual circumstances," Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said.
www.huffpost.com
February 5, 2026 at 2:34 AM
The way people quote posted me like I am stupid as fuck when I said the Dems were fucking us with their 2 week extension
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
Really nuts how many men were like "Me Too went too far, and I need to email Jeffrey Epstein about it."
February 5, 2026 at 12:26 AM
Really nuts how many men were like "Me Too went too far, and I need to email Jeffrey Epstein about it."
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
I genuinely saw someone praise Starmer for "getting ahead of this" and it's like praising an arsonist for putting out a fire they started just before it burns down the final room of a house.
February 4, 2026 at 11:05 PM
I genuinely saw someone praise Starmer for "getting ahead of this" and it's like praising an arsonist for putting out a fire they started just before it burns down the final room of a house.
Reposted by Sooz Kempner
called it
There is zero reason to “tbf tho” with Peter Mandelson. None. He didn’t “help win Labour three elections”, he drove the vote down in Hartlepool a little more every time he stood there. He is a bit of old chewing gum stuck to a fetid desk.
February 4, 2026 at 10:36 PM
called it