Sooz Kempner
@soozuk.bsky.social
"Comedian". DOOM in @bbcdoctorwho. Host @mysteryontherocks.bsky.social
Acting: The Foundry Management VO: The Joneses
For all enquiries and brand partnerships – [email protected]
she/her
www.soozkempner.co.uk/gigs
Acting: The Foundry Management VO: The Joneses
For all enquiries and brand partnerships – [email protected]
she/her
www.soozkempner.co.uk/gigs
Three years since a fantastic World Cup exchange.
November 29, 2025 at 12:03 PM
Three years since a fantastic World Cup exchange.
tfw you might be overreacting to a post that mentions candied roast potatoes
November 28, 2025 at 9:32 PM
tfw you might be overreacting to a post that mentions candied roast potatoes
93. Gandhi
THE HORSE IS CALLED GANDHI
THE HORSE IS CALLED GANDHI
November 28, 2025 at 2:07 PM
93. Gandhi
THE HORSE IS CALLED GANDHI
THE HORSE IS CALLED GANDHI
hahahaha not that Elon Musk is desperate to make fetch happen or anything but he's currently offering Twitter Premium for $1 in Canada which is about 0.0003p.
November 28, 2025 at 1:38 PM
hahahaha not that Elon Musk is desperate to make fetch happen or anything but he's currently offering Twitter Premium for $1 in Canada which is about 0.0003p.
"Autoglass repair, Autoglass replace"
November 28, 2025 at 12:52 PM
"Autoglass repair, Autoglass replace"
Took me about 15 seconds to find this place in a REALLY nice road in REALLY nice Clapham. She doesn't even have to leave London.
November 27, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Took me about 15 seconds to find this place in a REALLY nice road in REALLY nice Clapham. She doesn't even have to leave London.
HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIIT I LOVE THIS!!! Max Whitlock is the greatest British gymnast EVER and he'll be 35 in LA which, these days, isn't unheard of in the sport and I guarantee he wouldn't be coming back if he didn't think he could be a contender. YESSSS!
www.british-gymnastics.org/articles/he-...
www.british-gymnastics.org/articles/he-...
November 25, 2025 at 10:46 AM
HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIIT I LOVE THIS!!! Max Whitlock is the greatest British gymnast EVER and he'll be 35 in LA which, these days, isn't unheard of in the sport and I guarantee he wouldn't be coming back if he didn't think he could be a contender. YESSSS!
www.british-gymnastics.org/articles/he-...
www.british-gymnastics.org/articles/he-...
Maybe This Time from Cabaret. Dress was less than twenty quid on Vinted, thank you thank you.
November 24, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Maybe This Time from Cabaret. Dress was less than twenty quid on Vinted, thank you thank you.
Th...thanks for the suggestion, Youtube 😔
November 24, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Th...thanks for the suggestion, Youtube 😔
New Year's Eve is a BITCH. It's a fortune to get a cab or get in to a pub and things get CRAZY. Since 2022 I've turned down any NYE gigs offered coz who can be arsed to travel when I can just do it from my own bastard bedroom. Join me with your fave bevvy this NYE! FREE!
twitch.tv/soozkempner
twitch.tv/soozkempner
November 24, 2025 at 12:32 PM
New Year's Eve is a BITCH. It's a fortune to get a cab or get in to a pub and things get CRAZY. Since 2022 I've turned down any NYE gigs offered coz who can be arsed to travel when I can just do it from my own bastard bedroom. Join me with your fave bevvy this NYE! FREE!
twitch.tv/soozkempner
twitch.tv/soozkempner
Yesterday at a gig I sang I Will Always Love You and told the crowd about the time fifteen years ago I was asked to sing it as a first dance for a wedding. Baffling. Then afterwards a man who had worked as a funeral director told me it is a COMMON CHOICE FOR FUNERALS!!!! Wow, fuck you, the deceased.
November 24, 2025 at 12:01 PM
Yesterday at a gig I sang I Will Always Love You and told the crowd about the time fifteen years ago I was asked to sing it as a first dance for a wedding. Baffling. Then afterwards a man who had worked as a funeral director told me it is a COMMON CHOICE FOR FUNERALS!!!! Wow, fuck you, the deceased.
It's the ten year anniversary of the first time I ever held a baby.
November 23, 2025 at 11:50 AM
It's the ten year anniversary of the first time I ever held a baby.
(Margot Robbie wears the exact one in Birds of Prey, it's an official Burnt Soul!)
November 23, 2025 at 10:28 AM
(Margot Robbie wears the exact one in Birds of Prey, it's an official Burnt Soul!)
Defying Gravity from Wicked earlier this year in a catsuit that has pretty much given up now but I can't find a replacement FUCK
November 23, 2025 at 10:22 AM
Defying Gravity from Wicked earlier this year in a catsuit that has pretty much given up now but I can't find a replacement FUCK
I've Olaplex'd my hair, downloaded TWO new backing tracks (not even ripped from Youtube, so you KNOW I'm giving you my best), shaken out my Elphaba dress and at 6pm I'm hitting the greatest of London stages: the Royal Vauxhall Tavern.
£10 TICKETS: www.vauxhalltavern.com/events/event...
£10 TICKETS: www.vauxhalltavern.com/events/event...
November 23, 2025 at 10:19 AM
I've Olaplex'd my hair, downloaded TWO new backing tracks (not even ripped from Youtube, so you KNOW I'm giving you my best), shaken out my Elphaba dress and at 6pm I'm hitting the greatest of London stages: the Royal Vauxhall Tavern.
£10 TICKETS: www.vauxhalltavern.com/events/event...
£10 TICKETS: www.vauxhalltavern.com/events/event...
Yeah well guess what Kevin, I had to sing in Cyprus nightclubs and I hadn't even nonced anyone.
November 22, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Yeah well guess what Kevin, I had to sing in Cyprus nightclubs and I hadn't even nonced anyone.
The sweet thing my bf did for my 40th birthday. Millennial white women are very problematic and unfortunately we’re leaning in to it.
November 22, 2025 at 11:11 AM
The sweet thing my bf did for my 40th birthday. Millennial white women are very problematic and unfortunately we’re leaning in to it.
My friend just sent me this t-shirt design and I need it so much.
November 22, 2025 at 10:10 AM
My friend just sent me this t-shirt design and I need it so much.
UPDATE: Easy is a supermodel.
November 22, 2025 at 9:45 AM
UPDATE: Easy is a supermodel.
Exclusive footage of Elon Musk, JD Vance and Stephen Miller today.
November 22, 2025 at 9:21 AM
Exclusive footage of Elon Musk, JD Vance and Stephen Miller today.
Doomers are insisting it's 5D chess even though Trump started his presidency from an unpopular position and has grown more unpopular for the ten months he's been in power and looks like chalky white dog poo ET. It's desperate, that's what it is.
November 22, 2025 at 8:45 AM
Doomers are insisting it's 5D chess even though Trump started his presidency from an unpopular position and has grown more unpopular for the ten months he's been in power and looks like chalky white dog poo ET. It's desperate, that's what it is.