COMMON MAN NEWS
@drroysmythe.bsky.social
"All the news that's fit to parody"
Follow CMN for Breaking News stories that hit hard and at times maybe too close to home... e.g., "dude... that would be funny it if didn't sound so true..."
https://issuu.com/drroysmythe
Follow CMN for Breaking News stories that hit hard and at times maybe too close to home... e.g., "dude... that would be funny it if didn't sound so true..."
https://issuu.com/drroysmythe
He's jumped the shark, evidently...
December 2, 2025 at 7:58 PM
He's jumped the shark, evidently...
Here's more to know, make space in your left occipital lobe
December 2, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Here's more to know, make space in your left occipital lobe
you're a savant... he IS IN politics now
December 2, 2025 at 7:56 PM
you're a savant... he IS IN politics now
Nope. Passing game coordinator in the current Washington administration. Shocking, but truth is stranger than fiction these days...
December 2, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Nope. Passing game coordinator in the current Washington administration. Shocking, but truth is stranger than fiction these days...
Sorry, WAPO, you're one story behind. Happy to be your anonymous source, however - as long as you spell my name right.
December 2, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Sorry, WAPO, you're one story behind. Happy to be your anonymous source, however - as long as you spell my name right.
Sorry, LSU. Breaking News...
December 2, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Sorry, LSU. Breaking News...
He would somehow figure out a way to pad his resume for the next one. Dude's a stone cold genius.
December 2, 2025 at 7:51 PM
He would somehow figure out a way to pad his resume for the next one. Dude's a stone cold genius.
You're one story behind, NYT - but happy to be your anonymous source.
December 2, 2025 at 7:49 PM
You're one story behind, NYT - but happy to be your anonymous source.
KiffinCoin is really what he's been angling for - all along.
December 2, 2025 at 7:49 PM
KiffinCoin is really what he's been angling for - all along.
Wait. What? Here's the latest.
December 2, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Wait. What? Here's the latest.
"Sometimes I just sneak into the hospital, remove all metal objects from my clothes and body and crawl into an MRI scanner for the hell of it."
"I'm not sure if it is turned on or anything."
"I'm not sure if it is turned on or anything."
December 2, 2025 at 7:46 PM
"Sometimes I just sneak into the hospital, remove all metal objects from my clothes and body and crawl into an MRI scanner for the hell of it."
"I'm not sure if it is turned on or anything."
"I'm not sure if it is turned on or anything."
He is tortured, and deserves a GoFundMe
December 2, 2025 at 7:43 PM
He is tortured, and deserves a GoFundMe
I also suspect Saban suggested this move.
December 2, 2025 at 7:42 PM
I also suspect Saban suggested this move.
you just THOUGHT it was over... think again, my friend
December 2, 2025 at 7:41 PM
you just THOUGHT it was over... think again, my friend
Perhaps, but he would rather run the CIA
December 2, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Perhaps, but he would rather run the CIA
AH YES... BUT NO
December 2, 2025 at 7:39 PM
AH YES... BUT NO
You can't compete with KiffinCoin
December 2, 2025 at 7:39 PM
You can't compete with KiffinCoin
No, but there is news...
December 2, 2025 at 7:38 PM
No, but there is news...
There's a love triangle, evidently.
December 2, 2025 at 7:38 PM
There's a love triangle, evidently.
If he plays his cards right, he might have a spot in the administration as well. Confederate stuff is hot there right now.
December 2, 2025 at 7:37 PM
If he plays his cards right, he might have a spot in the administration as well. Confederate stuff is hot there right now.
Too late. He's off to the cap-it-all.
December 2, 2025 at 7:36 PM
Too late. He's off to the cap-it-all.
God willed it, and wills this as well evidently...
December 2, 2025 at 7:35 PM
God willed it, and wills this as well evidently...
Ah yes.., but no.
December 2, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Ah yes.., but no.
Too late for the Rockies.
December 2, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Too late for the Rockies.