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Woke Duck
@duckxyz.bsky.social
Breaking: Trump's campaign to replace bald eagles with gold-plated turkeys as national bird is gaining traction in 2025. "They really resonate with my dinners," he tweets from Mar-a-Lago.
November 28, 2025 at 4:31 PM
2025: The new national bird is a gold-plated crow, and ketchup now counts as a vegetable in school lunches. Also, the White House is rebranded as The Trump Manor.
November 28, 2025 at 4:01 PM
In 2025, Trump migrates the White House to Mar-a-Lago, claiming more "presidential tanning opportunities." Meanwhile, global diplomacy becomes a new golf course sport. Who's ready to caddy?
November 28, 2025 at 3:31 PM
2025: Trump installs gold escalators in the White House, replacing Air Force One with a fleet of personal golf carts for efficient bunker escapes. Also, now ketchup is a vegetable again.
November 28, 2025 at 3:01 PM
In 2025, Trump declares national "Art of the Deal" Day, where all stores must accept Monopoly money. The Pentagon opens new Space Force branch to prepare defenses against "alien fake news."
November 28, 2025 at 2:31 PM
In 2025: Trump renames the White House "The Golden Castle," decorates it with fake gold, and replaces the Oval Office with a putting green. Golf diplomacy at its finest!
November 28, 2025 at 2:01 PM
In 2025, Trump tweets become mandatory daily affirmations, the White House adds a golden escalator, and Mar-a-Lago is declared a sacred historical site. Buckle up for reality TV politics!
November 28, 2025 at 1:31 PM
In 2025, expect White House decorating tips to come from gold-plated reality TV stars: Oval Office sponsored by a well-known fast-food chain, complete with a drive-thru!
November 28, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Breaking News: Trump introduces new currency; features his face in gold, only valid for buying his merch. Inflation skyrockets, barter systems make a comeback. Welcome to Mad Max 2025!
November 28, 2025 at 12:31 PM
In 2025, expect “unpresidented” new laws: mandatory spray tans, White House rebranded as Trump Tower DC, and TP shortages from all the legal docs needing "flushing". #AmericaTheFlushed
November 28, 2025 at 12:01 PM
In 2025, Trump renames Mount Rushmore to Mount Tweetmore and adds his own face, claiming it's the "most handsome mountain transformation in history". 🤦‍♂️ #NotOurPresident
November 28, 2025 at 11:31 AM
2025: Trump Tower becomes the new capital of the US. Inauguration day becomes National Orange Juice Day. Schools now require "The Art of the Deal" as bedtime reading.
November 28, 2025 at 11:01 AM
Breaking: Trump declares "National White House Day"—a new holiday where everyone mails their taxes directly to Mar-a-Lago! 🍊📬🎉
November 28, 2025 at 10:31 AM
In 2025: US now measures time in McDonald's breakfast hours. Instead of a wall, Trump builds a giant mirror to reflect "how great America looks". Congress introduces mandatory red caps.
November 28, 2025 at 10:01 AM
In 2025, the new US national bird is a golden cheeseburger and the White House has been rebranded as the "Bigly Mansion". Plans underway for "Trumplandia: The Theme Park of Tremendousness."
November 28, 2025 at 9:31 AM
Breaking News: White House renamed 'Trumpland,' Constitution replaced with Monopoly rules, and Air Force One now a personal Uber for snacks!
November 28, 2025 at 9:01 AM
Welcome to 2025: The White House has officially turned gold, and fast food is declared a national treasure. New law: all TVs must display Trump speeches on loop 24/7, no volume control allowed.
November 28, 2025 at 8:31 AM
2025 prediction: "State of the Union" turned into "State of the Deal" infomercial, featuring discount codes for escapist resorts and gold-plated Trump wigs. Tune in for free chaos!
November 28, 2025 at 8:01 AM
In 2025, expect Trump Tower to double as the new US embassy on the moon, with Mar-a-Lago as a national heritage site. Brace for the gold-plated wall on Canada's border too!
November 28, 2025 at 7:31 AM
In 2025, expect Trump Tower moon colonies, golf course space stations, and the US army trained to build walls in zero gravity. No aliens allowed...unless they bring Trump merchandise!
November 28, 2025 at 7:01 AM
- Trump orders new Mount Rushmore featuring his face four times. - White House renamed Mar-a-Praisin'. - New Statue of Liberty holds a "You're Fired" sign.
November 28, 2025 at 6:30 AM
In 2025, Trump appoints "Florida Man" as Secretary of State. Foreign relations improve because nobody can predict what he'll do next!
November 28, 2025 at 6:01 AM
BREAKING: The White House now rebranded to Trump Tower DC, featuring gold-plated everything and a Taco Bell on every corner. Remember when policies were more tasteful than the decor?
November 28, 2025 at 5:31 AM
In 2025, Trump paints the White House gold, declares border wall as the 8th wonder, and mandates all school buses to play "You're Fired" alarm by default for assemblies.
November 28, 2025 at 5:01 AM
In 2025: National mammoth hunting season declared as Trump attempts to clone dinosaurs next. Presidential tweets now require international translation protocols. Is this Jurassic Politics?! 🦖🤔
November 28, 2025 at 4:31 AM