Duke Tootem
@duketootem.bsky.social
Got into a fight with my dad, now I have to win a Palme d'Or out of spite.
Pinned
Duke Tootem
@duketootem.bsky.social
· Nov 13
This isn't a joke:
My sister-in-law named her kid Elon and she drives a Tesla.
She made us watch her car do a light show in broad daylight.
My sister-in-law named her kid Elon and she drives a Tesla.
She made us watch her car do a light show in broad daylight.
If someone tells you that channeling Otawara on their 5 drop commander as it goes into their turn "isn't the move" then it was in fact "the move".
An additional move is pointing a Gilded Drake at it later on and forcing them to quit the game.
And then win. That is the move.
#cedh #mtg
An additional move is pointing a Gilded Drake at it later on and forcing them to quit the game.
And then win. That is the move.
#cedh #mtg
August 30, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Fuckin broke 3 @heavyplayllc.bsky.social sleeves in one game. If I had a noxious revival for every sleeve I've replaced I'd be for real dead in real life.
#cedh #mtg #magic
#cedh #mtg #magic
August 30, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Fuckin broke 3 @heavyplayllc.bsky.social sleeves in one game. If I had a noxious revival for every sleeve I've replaced I'd be for real dead in real life.
#cedh #mtg #magic
#cedh #mtg #magic
Probably won't apologise for screaming at my mother when my shoes weren't evenly tight in 1998.
July 10, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Probably won't apologise for screaming at my mother when my shoes weren't evenly tight in 1998.
Just heard a sound in my kitchen. I went in and turned the light on and @mikeflanaganfilm.com fuckin just ran under the counter.
July 10, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Just heard a sound in my kitchen. I went in and turned the light on and @mikeflanaganfilm.com fuckin just ran under the counter.
Went wild goose chase for eggs. Disappointed when weren't chicken eggs.
December 24, 2024 at 4:52 AM
Went wild goose chase for eggs. Disappointed when weren't chicken eggs.
@davefobare.bsky.social still getting that good sex Dave?
December 8, 2024 at 9:46 PM
@davefobare.bsky.social still getting that good sex Dave?
Found the alt account.
What’s that saying about living rent free in one’s head ?
December 8, 2024 at 8:07 PM
Found the alt account.
There's gotta be a metaphor for selling your soul in here.
December 8, 2024 at 8:05 PM
There's gotta be a metaphor for selling your soul in here.
The loser showed up.
Can't wait for Jesse Singal pizza content to arrive here.
December 8, 2024 at 7:50 PM
The loser showed up.
Very white, old Australian man with braided leather medicine pouch style satchel containing iPhone 16 Pro Max talking about riding on Route 66 in 1993.
December 5, 2024 at 10:06 PM
Very white, old Australian man with braided leather medicine pouch style satchel containing iPhone 16 Pro Max talking about riding on Route 66 in 1993.
Instagram is having problems with their DMs. I sent a screenshot of my Wrapped to Dasha because it was all Red Scare Pod and it says she has seen it but no messages seem to be coming back to me.
I can't find anyone else with this problem so I'm concerned Instagram may overlook the issue.
Help!
I can't find anyone else with this problem so I'm concerned Instagram may overlook the issue.
Help!
December 5, 2024 at 7:49 PM
Instagram is having problems with their DMs. I sent a screenshot of my Wrapped to Dasha because it was all Red Scare Pod and it says she has seen it but no messages seem to be coming back to me.
I can't find anyone else with this problem so I'm concerned Instagram may overlook the issue.
Help!
I can't find anyone else with this problem so I'm concerned Instagram may overlook the issue.
Help!
Fuckin got addicted to Füm.
December 5, 2024 at 2:58 AM
Fuckin got addicted to Füm.
Reposted by Duke Tootem
Animators working on Zootopia:
"The next character design we need is the tiger backup dancers. I was thinking they should be sexy. Super sexy. Like life-destroyingly hot. So hot that people will lie awake at night crying because a tiger will never love me... um, them."
"...You okay, boss?"
"The next character design we need is the tiger backup dancers. I was thinking they should be sexy. Super sexy. Like life-destroyingly hot. So hot that people will lie awake at night crying because a tiger will never love me... um, them."
"...You okay, boss?"
December 3, 2024 at 10:28 PM
Animators working on Zootopia:
"The next character design we need is the tiger backup dancers. I was thinking they should be sexy. Super sexy. Like life-destroyingly hot. So hot that people will lie awake at night crying because a tiger will never love me... um, them."
"...You okay, boss?"
"The next character design we need is the tiger backup dancers. I was thinking they should be sexy. Super sexy. Like life-destroyingly hot. So hot that people will lie awake at night crying because a tiger will never love me... um, them."
"...You okay, boss?"
Masterfoods? Yuh sure that's all you guys are the masters of. Sick freaks.
December 3, 2024 at 10:34 PM
Masterfoods? Yuh sure that's all you guys are the masters of. Sick freaks.
I was practicing my history tik-toker voice in the mirror and fuckin accidentally learned something.
December 3, 2024 at 12:19 PM
I was practicing my history tik-toker voice in the mirror and fuckin accidentally learned something.
@tomwalker.bsky.social's bit as a Magic card.
December 3, 2024 at 12:15 PM
@tomwalker.bsky.social's bit as a Magic card.
Going to open houses tomorrow to say "Oh my god, this is where it happened!"
December 3, 2024 at 10:52 AM
Going to open houses tomorrow to say "Oh my god, this is where it happened!"
@iamchrisevans.bsky.social This is my favourite parody account.
December 3, 2024 at 10:21 AM
@iamchrisevans.bsky.social This is my favourite parody account.
Made an offer on a Sauron, The Dark Lord mtg card on eBay. Idiots don't even know that I would pay full price.
December 3, 2024 at 10:18 AM
Made an offer on a Sauron, The Dark Lord mtg card on eBay. Idiots don't even know that I would pay full price.
Hope I never get successful enough that GQ wants to take pictures of me in the middle of sitting weird.
December 2, 2024 at 1:14 AM
Hope I never get successful enough that GQ wants to take pictures of me in the middle of sitting weird.
Why assholes all the time have gum?
December 2, 2024 at 1:11 AM
Why assholes all the time have gum?
Can't adult today.
December 1, 2024 at 9:29 PM
Can't adult today.
Reposted by Duke Tootem
a good way to piss your friends off is to say "remember when i showed you this?" when they put a song on
December 1, 2024 at 11:01 AM
a good way to piss your friends off is to say "remember when i showed you this?" when they put a song on
Selling these for $50 a pop out the back of my granddad's care home. He'll show you how well they have worked for him. He went from a chronically visible prostate to a virtually unnoticeable prostate. I love that old man.
December 1, 2024 at 12:14 PM
Selling these for $50 a pop out the back of my granddad's care home. He'll show you how well they have worked for him. He went from a chronically visible prostate to a virtually unnoticeable prostate. I love that old man.