D.N. Schmidt, sci-fi novelist 🪐📚
@dnschmidt.com
Science fiction novelist and humorist. Follow for stories, jokes, and thoughts about writing and creativity.
Get my books, free stories and writing tips at https://dnschmidt.com. Sign up for email updates so you don’t miss a thing!
Get my books, free stories and writing tips at https://dnschmidt.com. Sign up for email updates so you don’t miss a thing!
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The Chained Space Series - D.N. Schmidt
Jay Jordan and his space junk salvage crew travel the Domain, bending the law like a pretzel and sneaking their loot past wormhole security. All he wants out
chainedspace.com
Looking for gift ideas?
A salvage crew goes after a ship lost in the deadliest place in space. They battle alien gangsters, the galactic government, and their own minds.
Great for fans of Firefly, Cowboy Bebop, and other fun space adventures!
#booksky 📚🪐 #spaceopera
chainedspace.com
A salvage crew goes after a ship lost in the deadliest place in space. They battle alien gangsters, the galactic government, and their own minds.
Great for fans of Firefly, Cowboy Bebop, and other fun space adventures!
#booksky 📚🪐 #spaceopera
chainedspace.com
Why write book reviews? Share your good taste! Help steer our culture! Get noticed by other readers without getting arrested for streaking at the library again!
dnschmidt.com/writing-advi...
dnschmidt.com/writing-advi...
Why Everyone Should Write Book Reviews (Besides Helping The Author)
Writing book reviews helps readers save time and money. Share your taste! Get noticed by other readers, without getting arrested for streaking in the library!
dnschmidt.com
November 25, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Why write book reviews? Share your good taste! Help steer our culture! Get noticed by other readers without getting arrested for streaking at the library again!
dnschmidt.com/writing-advi...
dnschmidt.com/writing-advi...
If you were in a band called Big Trucks, you could play the "Beep! Beep! Beep!" noise when you brought out your backup dancers.
November 25, 2025 at 9:34 PM
If you were in a band called Big Trucks, you could play the "Beep! Beep! Beep!" noise when you brought out your backup dancers.
Can’t wait to visit my family for Thanksgiving, when Mom welcomes me with a warm hug and Dad gives me a halfhearted nod from the other room.
November 25, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Can’t wait to visit my family for Thanksgiving, when Mom welcomes me with a warm hug and Dad gives me a halfhearted nod from the other room.
If you’re looking for something fun to read over Thanksgiving weekend, check this out! If you love funny space adventures like Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, this book will be right up your alley.
Technology hates Janet, her misfit crew is out of control, and she's been assigned to a planet that just banned....chocolate?
Welcome to the Cosmic Turkey.
www.lauraruthloomis.com/the-cosmic-t...
Welcome to the Cosmic Turkey.
www.lauraruthloomis.com/the-cosmic-t...
Cosmic Turkey
Cosmic Turkey, science fiction comedy
www.lauraruthloomis.com
November 25, 2025 at 3:56 PM
If you’re looking for something fun to read over Thanksgiving weekend, check this out! If you love funny space adventures like Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, this book will be right up your alley.
“We’ll never catch him,” Sam said.
Paul scowled. “Stop being such a pessimist.”
Sam gestured to the desert around them. “I’m not. I just think the Loch Ness Monster is probably somewhere near Loch Ness.”
Paul huffed. “You got cash for plane tickets?”
“No.”
“Then shut up and keep fishing.”
#vss
Paul scowled. “Stop being such a pessimist.”
Sam gestured to the desert around them. “I’m not. I just think the Loch Ness Monster is probably somewhere near Loch Ness.”
Paul huffed. “You got cash for plane tickets?”
“No.”
“Then shut up and keep fishing.”
#vss
November 25, 2025 at 12:54 PM
“We’ll never catch him,” Sam said.
Paul scowled. “Stop being such a pessimist.”
Sam gestured to the desert around them. “I’m not. I just think the Loch Ness Monster is probably somewhere near Loch Ness.”
Paul huffed. “You got cash for plane tickets?”
“No.”
“Then shut up and keep fishing.”
#vss
Paul scowled. “Stop being such a pessimist.”
Sam gestured to the desert around them. “I’m not. I just think the Loch Ness Monster is probably somewhere near Loch Ness.”
Paul huffed. “You got cash for plane tickets?”
“No.”
“Then shut up and keep fishing.”
#vss
Woke up with a sore elbow. Must have been playing sleep tennis again.
November 25, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Woke up with a sore elbow. Must have been playing sleep tennis again.
A nurse came in with a clipboard. "Those are some serious bruises! Can you tell me what happened?"
Greg shrugged. "I was crossing the street and #timed it incorrectly."
"Hit by a car?"
"Parade float."
Her eyes widened. "How? They only go two miles an hour."
He huffed. "Two and a half!"
#vss365
Greg shrugged. "I was crossing the street and #timed it incorrectly."
"Hit by a car?"
"Parade float."
Her eyes widened. "How? They only go two miles an hour."
He huffed. "Two and a half!"
#vss365
November 25, 2025 at 11:47 AM
Every time my mom wants me to do something, she says, "Remember, I carried you for nine months!"
How could I forget? That's how we broke the record for World's Longest Piggyback Ride.
How could I forget? That's how we broke the record for World's Longest Piggyback Ride.
November 25, 2025 at 11:17 AM
Every time my mom wants me to do something, she says, "Remember, I carried you for nine months!"
How could I forget? That's how we broke the record for World's Longest Piggyback Ride.
How could I forget? That's how we broke the record for World's Longest Piggyback Ride.
Reposted by D.N. Schmidt, sci-fi novelist 🪐📚
🗡️ fantasy novella
⚰️ accidental reawakening of dead immortals
🏹 gallant knights
👑 evil kingdom 🤝 evil queendom
🌲 enchanted plants and forests
🥀 romance and friendship
🔖 link: mybook.to/mUVTmR
💌 itch.io: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/a-light-for-...
📖 gr: www.goodreads.com/book/show/23...
⚰️ accidental reawakening of dead immortals
🏹 gallant knights
👑 evil kingdom 🤝 evil queendom
🌲 enchanted plants and forests
🥀 romance and friendship
🔖 link: mybook.to/mUVTmR
💌 itch.io: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/a-light-for-...
📖 gr: www.goodreads.com/book/show/23...
November 24, 2025 at 9:35 PM
🗡️ fantasy novella
⚰️ accidental reawakening of dead immortals
🏹 gallant knights
👑 evil kingdom 🤝 evil queendom
🌲 enchanted plants and forests
🥀 romance and friendship
🔖 link: mybook.to/mUVTmR
💌 itch.io: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/a-light-for-...
📖 gr: www.goodreads.com/book/show/23...
⚰️ accidental reawakening of dead immortals
🏹 gallant knights
👑 evil kingdom 🤝 evil queendom
🌲 enchanted plants and forests
🥀 romance and friendship
🔖 link: mybook.to/mUVTmR
💌 itch.io: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/a-light-for-...
📖 gr: www.goodreads.com/book/show/23...
Just updated my speculative fiction sites list! These sites post science fiction, fantasy, horror, space opera, steampunk, and more. If you need something to read, check out the sites in this huge and growing list!
dnschmidt.com/more/the-spe...
dnschmidt.com/more/the-spe...
The Speculative Short Fiction Sites List - D.N. Schmidt
Huge list of free short fiction sites. Science fiction, fantasy, superhero fiction, horror, dystopian fiction, space opera, steampunk, and more!
dnschmidt.com
November 24, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Just updated my speculative fiction sites list! These sites post science fiction, fantasy, horror, space opera, steampunk, and more. If you need something to read, check out the sites in this huge and growing list!
dnschmidt.com/more/the-spe...
dnschmidt.com/more/the-spe...
Holiday Tip:
If a relative starts bothering you with politics talk during Thanksgiving dinner, try eating your corn on the cob endways, like a hotdog. I guarantee they'll completely forget what they were talking about.
If a relative starts bothering you with politics talk during Thanksgiving dinner, try eating your corn on the cob endways, like a hotdog. I guarantee they'll completely forget what they were talking about.
November 24, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Holiday Tip:
If a relative starts bothering you with politics talk during Thanksgiving dinner, try eating your corn on the cob endways, like a hotdog. I guarantee they'll completely forget what they were talking about.
If a relative starts bothering you with politics talk during Thanksgiving dinner, try eating your corn on the cob endways, like a hotdog. I guarantee they'll completely forget what they were talking about.
My new coworker wears so much cologne, I’ve been handing out thank you cards to people who cook fish in the microwave.
November 24, 2025 at 7:39 PM
My new coworker wears so much cologne, I’ve been handing out thank you cards to people who cook fish in the microwave.
Reposted by D.N. Schmidt, sci-fi novelist 🪐📚
A reminder that all my stuff is free.
It's on the blog: ddwardiswriting.blogspot.com.
It's on my Patreon: www.patreon.com/ddwardiswrit....
And it's on my webpage: ddwardiswriting.com.
No pay wall. No sign up required. Like my stuff? Read my stuff.
It's on the blog: ddwardiswriting.blogspot.com.
It's on my Patreon: www.patreon.com/ddwardiswrit....
And it's on my webpage: ddwardiswriting.com.
No pay wall. No sign up required. Like my stuff? Read my stuff.
D.D. Ward is Writing | Patreon
Various salacious fiction
www.patreon.com
November 22, 2025 at 11:19 AM
A reminder that all my stuff is free.
It's on the blog: ddwardiswriting.blogspot.com.
It's on my Patreon: www.patreon.com/ddwardiswrit....
And it's on my webpage: ddwardiswriting.com.
No pay wall. No sign up required. Like my stuff? Read my stuff.
It's on the blog: ddwardiswriting.blogspot.com.
It's on my Patreon: www.patreon.com/ddwardiswrit....
And it's on my webpage: ddwardiswriting.com.
No pay wall. No sign up required. Like my stuff? Read my stuff.
Short story too short? Here are some quick tips to help you expand your draft:
dnschmidt.com/writing-advi...
dnschmidt.com/writing-advi...
Quick Tip: How to Expand a Short First Draft - D.N. Schmidt
Did you just finish a big writing project only to come up short? Did your novel turn out to be a novella? It can feel disappointing for a story to come to an
dnschmidt.com
November 24, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Short story too short? Here are some quick tips to help you expand your draft:
dnschmidt.com/writing-advi...
dnschmidt.com/writing-advi...
Me: In general, it works like this.
Some guy: But what about this very specific special case? Why didn’t you mention this incredibly rare exception?
Well first, look up what “in general” means, and then we can talk about it once you understand what words are.
Some guy: But what about this very specific special case? Why didn’t you mention this incredibly rare exception?
Well first, look up what “in general” means, and then we can talk about it once you understand what words are.
November 24, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Me: In general, it works like this.
Some guy: But what about this very specific special case? Why didn’t you mention this incredibly rare exception?
Well first, look up what “in general” means, and then we can talk about it once you understand what words are.
Some guy: But what about this very specific special case? Why didn’t you mention this incredibly rare exception?
Well first, look up what “in general” means, and then we can talk about it once you understand what words are.
Invention: A can of spray cheese with a built-in air horn, so everyone in the house knows when Thanksgiving dinner is ready.
November 24, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Invention: A can of spray cheese with a built-in air horn, so everyone in the house knows when Thanksgiving dinner is ready.
Whenever I see the word "fine" on a sign, I can't help but read it with a sigh of exasperation. "Fine, jewelry for sale. Have it your way, asshole."
November 24, 2025 at 11:48 AM
Whenever I see the word "fine" on a sign, I can't help but read it with a sigh of exasperation. "Fine, jewelry for sale. Have it your way, asshole."
Somewhere there's a print shop owner hoping that gen AI rotting the internet will lead to a resurgence of 18th century-style pamphleteering.
November 23, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Somewhere there's a print shop owner hoping that gen AI rotting the internet will lead to a resurgence of 18th century-style pamphleteering.
Reposted by D.N. Schmidt, sci-fi novelist 🪐📚
November 23, 2025 at 4:13 PM
For a limited time, print copies are guaranteed to NOT be cursed by a witch!*
*Curses by sorcerers, wizards, necromancers, or other magical beings may still apply. Offer void in Tennessee.
*Curses by sorcerers, wizards, necromancers, or other magical beings may still apply. Offer void in Tennessee.
Looking for gift ideas?
A salvage crew goes after a ship lost in the deadliest place in space. They battle alien gangsters, the galactic government, and their own minds.
Great for fans of Firefly, Cowboy Bebop, and other fun space adventures!
#booksky 📚🪐 #spaceopera
chainedspace.com
A salvage crew goes after a ship lost in the deadliest place in space. They battle alien gangsters, the galactic government, and their own minds.
Great for fans of Firefly, Cowboy Bebop, and other fun space adventures!
#booksky 📚🪐 #spaceopera
chainedspace.com
The Chained Space Series - D.N. Schmidt
Jay Jordan and his space junk salvage crew travel the Domain, bending the law like a pretzel and sneaking their loot past wormhole security. All he wants out
chainedspace.com
November 23, 2025 at 6:10 PM
For a limited time, print copies are guaranteed to NOT be cursed by a witch!*
*Curses by sorcerers, wizards, necromancers, or other magical beings may still apply. Offer void in Tennessee.
*Curses by sorcerers, wizards, necromancers, or other magical beings may still apply. Offer void in Tennessee.
Reposted by D.N. Schmidt, sci-fi novelist 🪐📚
🚀 spaceships
🌡️ dark conspiracies
🎭 brotherhood
❌ no romance
🐛 strange creatures
🤖 futuristic
🪐 other worlds
🐈 a rescue cat
🔖 universal link: mybook.to/schU
💌 itch.io link: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/dust-lightning
📖 goodreads: www.goodreads.com/book/show/56...
🌡️ dark conspiracies
🎭 brotherhood
❌ no romance
🐛 strange creatures
🤖 futuristic
🪐 other worlds
🐈 a rescue cat
🔖 universal link: mybook.to/schU
💌 itch.io link: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/dust-lightning
📖 goodreads: www.goodreads.com/book/show/56...
November 22, 2025 at 8:04 PM
🚀 spaceships
🌡️ dark conspiracies
🎭 brotherhood
❌ no romance
🐛 strange creatures
🤖 futuristic
🪐 other worlds
🐈 a rescue cat
🔖 universal link: mybook.to/schU
💌 itch.io link: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/dust-lightning
📖 goodreads: www.goodreads.com/book/show/56...
🌡️ dark conspiracies
🎭 brotherhood
❌ no romance
🐛 strange creatures
🤖 futuristic
🪐 other worlds
🐈 a rescue cat
🔖 universal link: mybook.to/schU
💌 itch.io link: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/dust-lightning
📖 goodreads: www.goodreads.com/book/show/56...
I’m still banned from the tanning bed place. You try to thaw a turkey one time and they never forgive you.
November 23, 2025 at 5:24 PM
I’m still banned from the tanning bed place. You try to thaw a turkey one time and they never forgive you.
Tramp stamp idea: Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
November 23, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Tramp stamp idea: Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
"If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it" does not apply to coffee tables. Use a damn coaster, Beyoncé.
November 23, 2025 at 3:18 PM
"If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it" does not apply to coffee tables. Use a damn coaster, Beyoncé.
Greg was on his death bed, which was the worst bed to be on, aside from futons. He thought back on his #achievements, like teaching his kids to have a healthy sense of curiosity.
"Still," he thought, "I didn't need to be so curious about that barrel with the radiation symbol on it."
#vss365
"Still," he thought, "I didn't need to be so curious about that barrel with the radiation symbol on it."
#vss365
November 23, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Greg was on his death bed, which was the worst bed to be on, aside from futons. He thought back on his #achievements, like teaching his kids to have a healthy sense of curiosity.
"Still," he thought, "I didn't need to be so curious about that barrel with the radiation symbol on it."
#vss365
"Still," he thought, "I didn't need to be so curious about that barrel with the radiation symbol on it."
#vss365