Derek B
@dumbdrywaller.bsky.social
Pet food taster, bass player, guitar fixer
@happylittlecloudsband
@happylittlecloudsband
"You promised me, Lord, that you would walk with me always. Why, when I have needed you most,
have you not been there for me?"
The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set
of footprints, my child, is when I gave you a piggyback ride.”
have you not been there for me?"
The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set
of footprints, my child, is when I gave you a piggyback ride.”
November 22, 2025 at 12:45 PM
"You promised me, Lord, that you would walk with me always. Why, when I have needed you most,
have you not been there for me?"
The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set
of footprints, my child, is when I gave you a piggyback ride.”
have you not been there for me?"
The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set
of footprints, my child, is when I gave you a piggyback ride.”
It was me. I put the ram in the ramalamadingdong.
October 25, 2025 at 11:47 PM
It was me. I put the ram in the ramalamadingdong.
I’ve always believed that I have balded gracefully, like Bruce Willis or Jason Statham.
I was asked by @gqmagazine.bsky.social to write a little bit about just going bald in the age of widespread head-shaving and affordable, believable hair transplants...so I did!
Nothing Looks Cooler Than Not Caring You’re Balding
In a polarized culture that demands balding men pick a side, opting for the follicular middle ground is a refreshing act of honesty.
www.gq.com
September 27, 2025 at 1:24 AM
I’ve always believed that I have balded gracefully, like Bruce Willis or Jason Statham.
Patriots red throwbacks and Bucs creamsicle unis? What a day!
September 21, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Patriots red throwbacks and Bucs creamsicle unis? What a day!
Is this post meant for Shrek?
September 3, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Is this post meant for Shrek?
Reposted by Derek B
Neighbor's teen son: "I got a new Onewheel, wanna try it?"
Me (taking off): "Onewheel? More like FUN.."
8 months later, me in full body cast, coming out of coma: "...wheel"
Me (taking off): "Onewheel? More like FUN.."
8 months later, me in full body cast, coming out of coma: "...wheel"
August 20, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Neighbor's teen son: "I got a new Onewheel, wanna try it?"
Me (taking off): "Onewheel? More like FUN.."
8 months later, me in full body cast, coming out of coma: "...wheel"
Me (taking off): "Onewheel? More like FUN.."
8 months later, me in full body cast, coming out of coma: "...wheel"
I love walking through the airport wheeling my tiny carry on luggage like a dandy. A real fancy boy.
August 14, 2025 at 3:52 AM
I love walking through the airport wheeling my tiny carry on luggage like a dandy. A real fancy boy.
Reposted by Derek B
Man I know I’m getting old sitting here on a Friday night thinking “I should probably pick up a set of forstner bits this weekend.”
June 20, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Man I know I’m getting old sitting here on a Friday night thinking “I should probably pick up a set of forstner bits this weekend.”
Reposted by Derek B
Me playing soccer in the yard after exactly 2.5 hard seltzers
May 26, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Me playing soccer in the yard after exactly 2.5 hard seltzers
I’m annoyed the thing I ordered at 11pm last night won’t be here until 4-7pm today. Life is bullshit.
May 26, 2025 at 6:54 PM
I’m annoyed the thing I ordered at 11pm last night won’t be here until 4-7pm today. Life is bullshit.
“Mark” is the best name to have in Massachusetts. Or “Marc.”
May 1, 2025 at 10:59 PM
“Mark” is the best name to have in Massachusetts. Or “Marc.”
I always hate reading children’s obituaries because they are like “Sutton, 9, enjoyed video games and playing with his dog skipper” and I’m like this kid didn’t do shit with his life.
April 9, 2025 at 4:10 PM
I always hate reading children’s obituaries because they are like “Sutton, 9, enjoyed video games and playing with his dog skipper” and I’m like this kid didn’t do shit with his life.
Discovered last night that the cat who sleeps in my shed, Sheddy Lee, has a friend, who I named Neil Purrt.
April 1, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Discovered last night that the cat who sleeps in my shed, Sheddy Lee, has a friend, who I named Neil Purrt.
Why they didn’t call season 3 of Reacher “Threecher” is a mystery that will never be solved
March 27, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Why they didn’t call season 3 of Reacher “Threecher” is a mystery that will never be solved
Boy Zero Day is a big day for Ten Pole Tudor.
February 23, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Boy Zero Day is a big day for Ten Pole Tudor.
As a man of a certain age, I’m trying to get the mandatory viewing of Reacher out of the way early this year.
February 22, 2025 at 12:41 AM
As a man of a certain age, I’m trying to get the mandatory viewing of Reacher out of the way early this year.
The excise tax on my 2024 car in Ma in 2024 was 180. The excise tax on my 2002 car in 2013 in RI was 1100. Fucking RI.
January 29, 2025 at 6:56 PM
The excise tax on my 2024 car in Ma in 2024 was 180. The excise tax on my 2002 car in 2013 in RI was 1100. Fucking RI.
Cleaning staff, heaving a heavy sigh and grabbing a shovel out of their cart: Jesus Christ not another tree.
January 25, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Cleaning staff, heaving a heavy sigh and grabbing a shovel out of their cart: Jesus Christ not another tree.
Me: this painting is from 1576 !
Brother: wow, pre-Covid.
Brother: wow, pre-Covid.
December 24, 2024 at 5:38 PM
Me: this painting is from 1576 !
Brother: wow, pre-Covid.
Brother: wow, pre-Covid.
This boner gel sounds like how Fred Flinstone describes his own arousal
December 16, 2024 at 2:42 AM
This boner gel sounds like how Fred Flinstone describes his own arousal
30 seconds of zen.
December 13, 2024 at 4:52 PM
30 seconds of zen.
I love the Silo show but my biggest question is where do the years of farts go?
November 22, 2024 at 3:49 AM
I love the Silo show but my biggest question is where do the years of farts go?
Fuck. The algorithm knows I like watching videos of floor refinishing.
November 16, 2024 at 6:43 PM
Fuck. The algorithm knows I like watching videos of floor refinishing.
My shop teacher had two words tattooed on his knuckles—“love” and “hat”
November 6, 2024 at 10:34 PM
My shop teacher had two words tattooed on his knuckles—“love” and “hat”