Ed MB
@edmbnl.bsky.social
Comedian, bowel cancer survivor, recent wearer of glasses.
Seriously? Surely that should justify my bad pun.
I'm sure others have made a similar joke before me, though.
I'm sure others have made a similar joke before me, though.
November 9, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Seriously? Surely that should justify my bad pun.
I'm sure others have made a similar joke before me, though.
I'm sure others have made a similar joke before me, though.
My ex-colleague Austin's a bloke
Whose name inspired many a joke.
I called him a car
And was sent to HR
By a manager called Minnie Moke.
Whose name inspired many a joke.
I called him a car
And was sent to HR
By a manager called Minnie Moke.
November 6, 2025 at 11:41 AM
My ex-colleague Austin's a bloke
Whose name inspired many a joke.
I called him a car
And was sent to HR
By a manager called Minnie Moke.
Whose name inspired many a joke.
I called him a car
And was sent to HR
By a manager called Minnie Moke.
My passwords are easily cracked
So, if our work systems are hacked
The phones will be locked
And if staff are all blocked
Does that mean we all could be stacked?
So, if our work systems are hacked
The phones will be locked
And if staff are all blocked
Does that mean we all could be stacked?
October 23, 2025 at 2:38 PM
My passwords are easily cracked
So, if our work systems are hacked
The phones will be locked
And if staff are all blocked
Does that mean we all could be stacked?
So, if our work systems are hacked
The phones will be locked
And if staff are all blocked
Does that mean we all could be stacked?
You missed on my job application
Distinct lack of qualification.
I'm quite the imposter
But now on the roster
And superglued to this workstation.
Distinct lack of qualification.
I'm quite the imposter
But now on the roster
And superglued to this workstation.
October 22, 2025 at 1:27 PM
You missed on my job application
Distinct lack of qualification.
I'm quite the imposter
But now on the roster
And superglued to this workstation.
Distinct lack of qualification.
I'm quite the imposter
But now on the roster
And superglued to this workstation.
In all the blue movies I've seen
The star had a circumcised peen.
I duct-taped my nob
As a DIY job,
But when I got hard, it turned green.
The star had a circumcised peen.
I duct-taped my nob
As a DIY job,
But when I got hard, it turned green.
October 16, 2025 at 1:56 PM
In all the blue movies I've seen
The star had a circumcised peen.
I duct-taped my nob
As a DIY job,
But when I got hard, it turned green.
The star had a circumcised peen.
I duct-taped my nob
As a DIY job,
But when I got hard, it turned green.
It's shocking my boss has ignored
How many gift vouchers I've scored.
With each monthly draw
I'm winning one more.
The secret ingredient's fraud.
How many gift vouchers I've scored.
With each monthly draw
I'm winning one more.
The secret ingredient's fraud.
a man in a suit is sitting in a chair in front of a television that says ultimate e12 e14
ALT: a man in a suit is sitting in a chair in front of a television that says ultimate e12 e14
media.tenor.com
October 10, 2025 at 8:30 PM
It's shocking my boss has ignored
How many gift vouchers I've scored.
With each monthly draw
I'm winning one more.
The secret ingredient's fraud.
How many gift vouchers I've scored.
With each monthly draw
I'm winning one more.
The secret ingredient's fraud.
Although this is out of the blue
I need a small favour from you.
The lads made a bet
My nob's never got wet.
Could you please confirm - did we screw?
I need a small favour from you.
The lads made a bet
My nob's never got wet.
Could you please confirm - did we screw?
October 9, 2025 at 8:11 AM
Although this is out of the blue
I need a small favour from you.
The lads made a bet
My nob's never got wet.
Could you please confirm - did we screw?
I need a small favour from you.
The lads made a bet
My nob's never got wet.
Could you please confirm - did we screw?
It's the lingering little leftovers of lunacy that distinguish us from the machines.
October 8, 2025 at 11:53 AM
It's the lingering little leftovers of lunacy that distinguish us from the machines.
My guests are impressed when they stay
By my Christmas cards on display.
I like to pretend
Each one's a new friend
But I never throw them away.
By my Christmas cards on display.
I like to pretend
Each one's a new friend
But I never throw them away.
October 8, 2025 at 11:46 AM
My guests are impressed when they stay
By my Christmas cards on display.
I like to pretend
Each one's a new friend
But I never throw them away.
By my Christmas cards on display.
I like to pretend
Each one's a new friend
But I never throw them away.
Nice. You also managed to do that without making up any new words, which beats me!
October 8, 2025 at 11:36 AM
Nice. You also managed to do that without making up any new words, which beats me!
For dieting, I have deducted
All lunches can be deconstructed.
My sandwich 'sans bread'
Is just mayo instead
(Though acid may soon be reflucted).
All lunches can be deconstructed.
My sandwich 'sans bread'
Is just mayo instead
(Though acid may soon be reflucted).
October 8, 2025 at 8:35 AM
For dieting, I have deducted
All lunches can be deconstructed.
My sandwich 'sans bread'
Is just mayo instead
(Though acid may soon be reflucted).
All lunches can be deconstructed.
My sandwich 'sans bread'
Is just mayo instead
(Though acid may soon be reflucted).
Thanks for the tip. I have followed both and will see how it works out.
October 7, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Thanks for the tip. I have followed both and will see how it works out.
The bin men may well have a shock
To find, in the trash on my block
My neighbour (who's gay)
Seems to have thrown away
My huge, rubber, vibrating...
To find, in the trash on my block
My neighbour (who's gay)
Seems to have thrown away
My huge, rubber, vibrating...
October 7, 2025 at 7:43 PM
The bin men may well have a shock
To find, in the trash on my block
My neighbour (who's gay)
Seems to have thrown away
My huge, rubber, vibrating...
To find, in the trash on my block
My neighbour (who's gay)
Seems to have thrown away
My huge, rubber, vibrating...
That last 0.2 always gets me. Thank you for the compliment, and for the incentive to work harder!
October 7, 2025 at 6:57 PM
That last 0.2 always gets me. Thank you for the compliment, and for the incentive to work harder!
My other half's mum's in a huff.
She told me "I'm finding it tough
Believing that my son-
In-law shagged a Dyson
Whilst trying to suck up a guff!"
She told me "I'm finding it tough
Believing that my son-
In-law shagged a Dyson
Whilst trying to suck up a guff!"
October 7, 2025 at 6:51 PM
My other half's mum's in a huff.
She told me "I'm finding it tough
Believing that my son-
In-law shagged a Dyson
Whilst trying to suck up a guff!"
She told me "I'm finding it tough
Believing that my son-
In-law shagged a Dyson
Whilst trying to suck up a guff!"
The reason my first marriage ended,
A problem that couldn't be mended:
Our drawers were all messes
Of shirts, pants and dresses,
Not sorted as nature intended.
A problem that couldn't be mended:
Our drawers were all messes
Of shirts, pants and dresses,
Not sorted as nature intended.
October 7, 2025 at 4:40 PM
The reason my first marriage ended,
A problem that couldn't be mended:
Our drawers were all messes
Of shirts, pants and dresses,
Not sorted as nature intended.
A problem that couldn't be mended:
Our drawers were all messes
Of shirts, pants and dresses,
Not sorted as nature intended.
Your joints feeling painful and tight is
A warning sign you have arthritis.
When knuckles are sore
No drug is my cure.
Massaging a warm bag of shite is.
A warning sign you have arthritis.
When knuckles are sore
No drug is my cure.
Massaging a warm bag of shite is.
October 6, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Your joints feeling painful and tight is
A warning sign you have arthritis.
When knuckles are sore
No drug is my cure.
Massaging a warm bag of shite is.
A warning sign you have arthritis.
When knuckles are sore
No drug is my cure.
Massaging a warm bag of shite is.
The sole target in my career
Is to (over time) disappear.
If I have no tasks
And nobody asks
I'll get paid for just being here.
Is to (over time) disappear.
If I have no tasks
And nobody asks
I'll get paid for just being here.
October 5, 2025 at 5:55 PM
The sole target in my career
Is to (over time) disappear.
If I have no tasks
And nobody asks
I'll get paid for just being here.
Is to (over time) disappear.
If I have no tasks
And nobody asks
I'll get paid for just being here.
By claiming you work for the news
You could get a pass you can use
For meeting the stars
And drinks at free bars
(Or peeing in clean portaloos).
You could get a pass you can use
For meeting the stars
And drinks at free bars
(Or peeing in clean portaloos).
October 4, 2025 at 10:32 AM
By claiming you work for the news
You could get a pass you can use
For meeting the stars
And drinks at free bars
(Or peeing in clean portaloos).
You could get a pass you can use
For meeting the stars
And drinks at free bars
(Or peeing in clean portaloos).
I feel for whoever stood under
The Sainsbury's bag full of chunder
My mother was throwing
With no way of knowing
It was her own son's boozy blunder.
The Sainsbury's bag full of chunder
My mother was throwing
With no way of knowing
It was her own son's boozy blunder.
October 4, 2025 at 8:55 AM
I feel for whoever stood under
The Sainsbury's bag full of chunder
My mother was throwing
With no way of knowing
It was her own son's boozy blunder.
The Sainsbury's bag full of chunder
My mother was throwing
With no way of knowing
It was her own son's boozy blunder.