Trump could boost approval ratings minimum 20% if he signed an executive order saying that value meals at fast food places had to be $1 again

I think that if you don’t have a brita filter in your fridge you should go to jail

In a sentence never before uttered by humans, I am delighted to share that an alligator stole my conservation instructor’s hat by jauntily walking into the water while wearing it 🐊

Not to be political or anything but I don’t think the United States has ever been United about anything. At this point states need to start splitting off I’m not gonna lie.

Hey man sorry to hear about all your political turmoil. Would it help if I scrolled around on the computer all day and drove myself insane?

Had a dream that Hotel Transylvania was getting another sequel and was running a super immersive ad campaign where they made fake trailers for fake movies to get you hooked, and then suddenly the set would fall away and Adam Sandler Dracula would be there. It became the new Rick Roll, but for movies