in order to make an omelette (comedy being legal again on x the everything app) you gotta break a few eggs

need a man whose kink is making me figure out how to break it to my roommates that he paid off the remainder of our lease

need a man to draw a screaming hot bath and methodically wash me in it and tenderly towel me off and then swaddle me in soft blankets and princess carry me to his bed and then refuse to let me fall asleep until i pull out my phone and show that i've set all my debts to
autopay to his bank account

mr bennett ultimate girl dad

hell even if you're an "everyone is kinda trans" sort of person, if you gave every living human being ~$10 usd i'd bet my share of the kitty that it would have way more results than you'd expect

oh my god bitch this was the gimme-est layup in the whole fucking world and you still couldn't land it