Elliott Downing
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elliottdowning.bsky.social
Elliott Downing
@elliottdowning.bsky.social
Author of books seldom read, screenplays never filmed, software rarely used, and bleets like sweet, sweet honey.

If you were following @elliott_downing over on TwitterX, you've found me (or failed to avoid me, as the case may be).
If you know so much about holiday gift cards, name three of their songs. Poser
December 17, 2025 at 3:02 AM
And yet this may technically be the bravest thing Marco Rubio has ever done.
December 10, 2025 at 9:04 PM
As a child, I was led to believe I would have SO many more woodland friends than I actually do have. Granted, that could be on me
December 10, 2025 at 9:00 PM
What would even be the point if it wasn't
December 5, 2025 at 12:37 AM
I guess when you've already spent your entire life as a weird, sad cartoon character who can't make convincing human facial expressions, it's an easy mistake to assume everyone else has been dreaming of doing that too
December 5, 2025 at 12:29 AM
I really hope other clue-bereft electronics companies are taking careful notes here so they can soon entreat us to "Give your Christmas a higher pixel density" or some shit
December 3, 2025 at 12:17 AM
I don't mean to sound all paranoid here, but I feel like there might be a second number they just calculated and they're probably more excited about that one.
December 1, 2025 at 4:30 PM
But ACTUALLY being the dumbest motherfucker alive is staggeringly difficult
October 3, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Thoughtful flourishes like those are what separate "Honey, would you like to have lunch with me on Tuesday?" from "Blood of mine own, let us feast at the stroke of noon like pagan kings."

unfortunately im working tuesdays now so i can't make it
September 27, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Oh, that's good then! Um,
September 26, 2025 at 8:14 AM
Been quietly wishing you success on that G-ing TFO goal for several years now, so the obvious conclusion to be drawn here is that my wishes SUCK and are of help to no one. But you are welcome to keep accruing as many of those non-functional little bastards as you like until one of 'em finally works
September 26, 2025 at 8:10 AM
I had to go there because somebody died, which I guess is as good a reason to be there as any. Probably better than yours, actually, which I'm assuming is more like "Somebody was born. It was me. It happened here. So…"
September 26, 2025 at 8:03 AM
(Sorry, I was trying to be coy and non-specific there but I guess all your stalkers just drew a definitive 'X' through Montana on their wall maps anyway, my bad)
September 25, 2025 at 11:41 PM
I had to spend the whole summer in your actual home state and he's kinda not wrong tbh
September 25, 2025 at 11:37 PM
And okay, I know you were dying to know. Enjoy.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERI_...
Down the Pub
YouTube video by Hard Skin - Topic
www.youtube.com
September 25, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Damn it, first it was the Roman Empire and now this. Will I ever not be doing it wrong
August 29, 2025 at 7:15 PM