Elliott Porch Beers
@elliottporchbeers.bsky.social
Zinester, Millennial punk, chaotic good
Kids will humble ya. Walking past a table in a restaurant, a kid excitedly exclaimed,”Mama, is that a REAL CHRISTMAS ELF??!”
December 10, 2023 at 8:45 PM
Kids will humble ya. Walking past a table in a restaurant, a kid excitedly exclaimed,”Mama, is that a REAL CHRISTMAS ELF??!”
Tonight me and Lenny live in infamy as the queer couple who crashed the St. Mary’s ugly sweater party bar crawl
December 9, 2023 at 3:53 AM
Tonight me and Lenny live in infamy as the queer couple who crashed the St. Mary’s ugly sweater party bar crawl
I know Patti Smith later disavowed the lyric, but as a queer person “Jesus died for somebody’s sin but not mine” is such a powerful fucking line.
November 28, 2023 at 2:03 PM
I know Patti Smith later disavowed the lyric, but as a queer person “Jesus died for somebody’s sin but not mine” is such a powerful fucking line.
I figured when the kiddo asked to turn of the Ramones holiday song as I cursed and untangled the lights, it’d be for a meme. Instead, it was a custom made playlist of Bing Crosby era songs specifically for decorating the tree.
November 21, 2023 at 2:26 AM
I figured when the kiddo asked to turn of the Ramones holiday song as I cursed and untangled the lights, it’d be for a meme. Instead, it was a custom made playlist of Bing Crosby era songs specifically for decorating the tree.
Went to the new Aldi, and I’ma guess if this is their new brand model, it would’ve been most cost efficient to close the West End one than remodel it. But nothing stops one of Huntington’s favorite past times, shit on folks with addiction for any reason whatsoever.
November 18, 2023 at 12:25 PM
Went to the new Aldi, and I’ma guess if this is their new brand model, it would’ve been most cost efficient to close the West End one than remodel it. But nothing stops one of Huntington’s favorite past times, shit on folks with addiction for any reason whatsoever.
Mentally I’m the elderly couple at Arby’s this weekend who applauded after “Piano Man” played on the radio
November 13, 2023 at 6:03 PM
Mentally I’m the elderly couple at Arby’s this weekend who applauded after “Piano Man” played on the radio
The most embarrassing part of interrupting the group playlist last night was revealing I was listening to Katy Perry earlier in the day.
November 10, 2023 at 4:45 PM
The most embarrassing part of interrupting the group playlist last night was revealing I was listening to Katy Perry earlier in the day.
How much of our vampire mythos, looking at illustrations, comes from funky little dudes having sleep paralysis?
October 31, 2023 at 12:23 PM
How much of our vampire mythos, looking at illustrations, comes from funky little dudes having sleep paralysis?
If by “turning into my grandpa” you mean “got curious about a fire truck and listened to my scanner app for fifteen minutes on various bands” then guilty as charged
October 25, 2023 at 12:01 AM
If by “turning into my grandpa” you mean “got curious about a fire truck and listened to my scanner app for fifteen minutes on various bands” then guilty as charged
After replacing my chili fest stained tee with something from my studio neighbor’s Free Box, and being on T for almost four years: Why the hell are gauzy thin shirts for women and not chonky dudes? Because this shirt feels amazing rn unlike the sweat box flannels I have
October 14, 2023 at 8:50 PM
After replacing my chili fest stained tee with something from my studio neighbor’s Free Box, and being on T for almost four years: Why the hell are gauzy thin shirts for women and not chonky dudes? Because this shirt feels amazing rn unlike the sweat box flannels I have
A Facebook group called most of the music I love “Scrubs-core” and “Braff Rock.” Never before has something so accurate made me so angry
October 14, 2023 at 12:12 PM
A Facebook group called most of the music I love “Scrubs-core” and “Braff Rock.” Never before has something so accurate made me so angry
Shows like tonight’s are why I love Huntington
October 12, 2023 at 3:14 AM
Shows like tonight’s are why I love Huntington
If this Huntington Ren Faire comes to fruition, y’all are in for a treat. Hell, I might write it even if it doesn’t. Thought that also means Uncle Elliott has give or take six months to remember what he hell iambic pentameter is.
October 11, 2023 at 5:52 PM
If this Huntington Ren Faire comes to fruition, y’all are in for a treat. Hell, I might write it even if it doesn’t. Thought that also means Uncle Elliott has give or take six months to remember what he hell iambic pentameter is.
I am blessed with a step kiddo who, for at least formalwear, likes fashion and is not afraid to mix patterns. I am trying to get the pendulum to stop now tho because he’s about to show up to his Homecoming dance like Nardwuar.
October 7, 2023 at 3:42 PM
I am blessed with a step kiddo who, for at least formalwear, likes fashion and is not afraid to mix patterns. I am trying to get the pendulum to stop now tho because he’s about to show up to his Homecoming dance like Nardwuar.
At the Foundry Theater for the opening night of the Appalachian Queer Film Festival! Here early to put the finishing touches on the programs. Hope to see some of y’all there!
October 6, 2023 at 8:06 PM
At the Foundry Theater for the opening night of the Appalachian Queer Film Festival! Here early to put the finishing touches on the programs. Hope to see some of y’all there!
Next project: a battle vest with folks like Jackson Brown, Hall & Oates, and Fleetwood Mac
October 4, 2023 at 12:04 PM
Next project: a battle vest with folks like Jackson Brown, Hall & Oates, and Fleetwood Mac
Reposted by Elliott Porch Beers
Waffle House is always open, always tolerating weirdness & nonsense, always serving affordable diner food. Staff deserve an always-livable wage:
🧇✊ Waffle House workers are holding simultaneous speak outs all across the South today to launch a petition of demands, including a $25/hr minimum wage for all workers.
Sign & share the petition: bit.ly/Smothered-Covered
Sign & share the petition: bit.ly/Smothered-Covered
October 2, 2023 at 11:50 PM
Waffle House is always open, always tolerating weirdness & nonsense, always serving affordable diner food. Staff deserve an always-livable wage:
Reposted by Elliott Porch Beers
So my survey got attacked by some bots, and now I've lost 50% of my data. Please help me get to 1,000 real humans who actually meet my survey criteria? This sad PhD candidate thanks you in advance.
September 22, 2023 at 5:45 PM
So my survey got attacked by some bots, and now I've lost 50% of my data. Please help me get to 1,000 real humans who actually meet my survey criteria? This sad PhD candidate thanks you in advance.
Woke up from a TSA related nightmare to a Charlie horse, and still I think today is going to be better than yesterday
October 4, 2023 at 9:42 AM
Woke up from a TSA related nightmare to a Charlie horse, and still I think today is going to be better than yesterday
Oddly enough, I’m at a marching band competition and Bridgeport did a whole field show to Kiss. I’ve gotta admit, those songs do make great marching band fodder.
September 30, 2023 at 7:15 PM
Oddly enough, I’m at a marching band competition and Bridgeport did a whole field show to Kiss. I’ve gotta admit, those songs do make great marching band fodder.
If KISS didn’t have the make up gimmick, I feel like they would’ve been a second rate Thin Lizzy in rock history
September 30, 2023 at 4:27 PM
If KISS didn’t have the make up gimmick, I feel like they would’ve been a second rate Thin Lizzy in rock history
I really need to look into my Someday Maybe folder and post the shit too unhinged or stupid for any other social media spot since the fall of Twitter.
Example: “Beeroborous. A Ouroborous of beer”
“Alkaline Trio is if you went to a restaurant and ordered AFI, and the waitress said ‘Is Pepsi ok?’”
Example: “Beeroborous. A Ouroborous of beer”
“Alkaline Trio is if you went to a restaurant and ordered AFI, and the waitress said ‘Is Pepsi ok?’”
September 27, 2023 at 3:18 PM
I really need to look into my Someday Maybe folder and post the shit too unhinged or stupid for any other social media spot since the fall of Twitter.
Example: “Beeroborous. A Ouroborous of beer”
“Alkaline Trio is if you went to a restaurant and ordered AFI, and the waitress said ‘Is Pepsi ok?’”
Example: “Beeroborous. A Ouroborous of beer”
“Alkaline Trio is if you went to a restaurant and ordered AFI, and the waitress said ‘Is Pepsi ok?’”
Finishing up the program for the Appalachian Queer Film Festival tonight, then getting to work on Porch Beers 7. I’ve been doing a lot of commission work this summer, which has been a great experience but hasn’t left me much time for my own zines and projects.
September 27, 2023 at 12:30 PM
Finishing up the program for the Appalachian Queer Film Festival tonight, then getting to work on Porch Beers 7. I’ve been doing a lot of commission work this summer, which has been a great experience but hasn’t left me much time for my own zines and projects.
Back on the social media train. This seems a little less dumb than Threads, which I kind of forgot existed.
September 27, 2023 at 12:27 PM
Back on the social media train. This seems a little less dumb than Threads, which I kind of forgot existed.
Reposted by Elliott Porch Beers
Hot damn, the WGA won. The summary of what's been agreed to is in the link but just, wow. www.wgacontract2023.org/the-campaign...
September 27, 2023 at 12:43 AM
Hot damn, the WGA won. The summary of what's been agreed to is in the link but just, wow. www.wgacontract2023.org/the-campaign...