It’s 9am TFT time here, and citizens are already gathering to protest Tariffs by the United States. Our plain clothes Officer Penguins are attempting to maintain calm, but unfortunately we keep losing them in the crowd.

Yes, the stock market may be tanking and our national security apparatus has never been more vulnerable and we're on the verge of both economic collapse and war, but it was all worth it to keep pronouns out of email signatures.

Word of the day. Or week. Or next four years.

Motion to refer to the sprawling new federal power structure that will be created by the Trump Administration as "The Derp State."