One of the simple changes in my outlook has turned out to be fairly significant, and it is the sentence "I'm allowed to want what I want." The frustration of not being able to have what I wanted would cause me to pull back; I would tell myself to not even want that thing in the first place.

One time I was walking up the aisle at church in heels and nearly fell over, and a friend made a joke about my weak ankles and I just agreed with him because that was better than telling him the truth, which was that I was thinking about how to walk and then got it wrong

Caught my shoe on the top step and had the terrifying vision of Darcey needing to call 911 but asking if she could just text instead.

If there was any month that deserved to have a 31st, it's November. Over here in December already when we could have had an extra day. Massive oversight by the Calendar Planning people if you ask me.

I just had to contaminate my Google history with "what comes out of a whale's blowhole?" in order to solve a family debate. Sunday Family Dinner never disappoints.

The worst thing about all of your kids growing up and being independent adults is that there's no one to tell my weird dreams to anymore, like last night's dream of having really bad seats on a cruise ship's production of Hamilton. Also the crushing loneliness. But mostly the dream thing.

Dreamed that Elon Musk was starting an online coding school hosted by the Muppets and woke up with "Frosty the Snowman" stuck in my head so I'd say the Brain Output Quality Indicator is set to "poor"

If you've ever heard me complain about trying to feed these chuckleheads, this is why

Ursula Vernon's Hugo acceptance speech included this delightful anecdote-slash-metaphor-slash-encouragement. https://www.patreon.com/posts/91410900

My 16 yo daughter forgot her username and can't log into her bank account.

Me: You're going to have to call the bank.
Darcey: I guess I'll never have money again.

Yelled upstairs, "We're leaving for church in five minutes!" Then had to confirm with each person individually because no one responded with, "thank you five" and all I'm saying is the stage manager gets no respect.

Yeah I'm totally cool and chill and secure and stuff but also I'd pay great sums of money to step outside of my body and view myself as an objective onlooker would. But, you know, in a totally chill way.

In today's episode of Will It Blend we made a peach, blueberry, and silicone spatula smoothie for breakfast. It did, indeed, blend.