Man, those cyber trucks really **are*** fng ugly. #tesla #suckitelon

Which is funnier - getting $1 back from the feds, or having them mail it to you as a check? #taxes

I prefer to ghost people the old fashioned way, with the vengeful spirit of an Edwardian boy trapped inside an antique music box.

And there we have it: the point of no return for my floors.

The other day, ChatGPT offered to print a broccoli / mirin recipe it had just given me, thereby making it more intuitive than most men I’ve ever known. #relationships

What if the experts are off the mark? #bpd #relationships #brightidea #narcissisticabuse

I laughed so hard I want it tattooed on my face.

Know what cracks me up and / or makes me cry? When people have a group of inflatable decorations in their yard and one, for whatever reason, is not inflated. Like, I feel you, non-inflated lawn decoration. You’re not alone.

“The 12 Days of Christmas”

When was it ever ok to transfer ownership of 8 dairy maids & 9 ladies dancing? Why would anyone want a single, solitary leaping lord, let alone 10? And why is the singer so obsessed with birds? Does he own an aviary? Also: a partridge in a pear tree is not 1 gift; it’s 2.

$1138 for my root canal this morning. Potentially the most expensive hour of my life, at least in terms of out-of-pocket expenses.

What’s better than a root canal? A root canal during 24/7 Christmas radio! Legit, the only time I’ve ever been like “turn up the drill”.

Neighbours are playing Christmas music (walls are thin-ish), and sometimes i legit wish i could ever imagine myself once again being a person for whom this music sparks joy instead of relentless dread.

A Christmas miracle!! They **turned off the 24/7 holiday playlist** at the laundromat!!

…all the better to hear their tiny light-up Christmas tree play “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” and “Jingle Bells” back to back to back to back in a tinny, monophonic loop.

Am pretty sure the new way is worse.

Triggering opinion: somewhere, at some time, “The 12 Days of Christmas” has been used as an instrument of torture.

It’s 7am and you’re on a plane to Philly. They sell small boxes of premixed margaritas, but have no ice. Do you order one anyway , just because you can? #beinganadult

Further proof that the Jews are a persecuted people: where’s the 24-hour *Hanukkah* station?

Further proof that we are ALL a persecuted people: 24-hour Christmas stations exist.

Having just learned of my 4-year workforce hiatus, he asked, incredulous, “So what was it you *DID* then, with all of that time? In Delaware?”

“Made bad decisions and played Pokémon Go.”

He laughed like I was joking.

…it is* a good punchline though. #delawhere #truestory

So real.

So what’s up with this “Christmas in Hawaii” song that’s been all over the radio this year? I mean, I get it, you need content for your 24/7 holiday playlist and “new” Christmas tunes must be pretty hard to come by, but theres gotta be some backstory here that I just don’t know yet.