“I would like to continue milking system to retain my huge privileges”

He definitely, absolutely keeps his socks on.

The poor, poor staff.

It’s like the worst ever contestants on Come Dine With Me have been let loose on actual restaurants.

She should team up with Lembit Opik for a lecture tour.

She was once in the Lib Dems…

So his position is 'I regret nothing apart from the thing with catastrophic consequences which will need to be fixed by someone else although I'm not sure how'?

I wish I had but I just passive aggressively put a lock on my bedroom door.

The people who are supposed to be fixing this are making it worse. I am very scared.

How to ‘improve a messy kitchen’
A. Wash up and put the pots away
B. Pay £132 for some candles

Some people think the answer is B. Probably.