I feel so helpless sometimes. I wish there was the thing for me that drives me to do more, to do better, that it could be steered to physically do. its like its stuck in me and won't move now as we've gotten to this tumultous time .. my body is like what's the point, when my brain is like we have to

its been the bane of me, its very much triggers me when it happens online but in meatspace even moreso. im very good about it, wellbehaved - but lol, its so irksome.. full on migraine inducing depending on the person cuz romantic interests, that has to be nipped in the bud or risk me crashing out