I can live my whole life and never understand why people contacting tech support say, "I'm getting an error message," without clarifying what the error message says. Why do they think we'll magically know which thing they fucked up? Bonus points if this "must be resolved urgently." 🥴

Weird to be a US citizen openly supporting Ukraine, a place where goyim screamed slurs at my dad and poured filth off their balconies onto him <40 years ago, in a war against Russia, from which they chased us out under threat of antisemitic violence <30 years ago.

Imagine being intellectually lazy to the point where you step on the same rake over and over. (This doesn't require research; modern farmers have always required government subsidies and still voted Republican; he had decades to figure that out).

Litmus test: If you can't tell me from which river to which sea, you should probably 🤫 & let the grown-ups handle it. All y'all do is engage w/ antisemitic dog whistles & cause problems for the wrong people. Free 🇵🇸 but without the antisemitic violence.

Pro Tip: If you want to get through this administration, stop doom scrolling & exclusively engage with news that has a direct action item. If you can't call someone, donate, or show up in person, leave it be. Pace yourselves FFS 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Get in, loser, we're doing vigilante justice.

Cool cool cool. So, even fewer reasons to call the 🐖🚨 in an emergency.

My extended family voted for 🍊⏳💣 because living Under His Eye pumps you full of cortisol until you're a full time moron forever. Anyway, don't move to France. Stay & fight. The fash will follow you to the ends of the earth, I promise. It followed me.

Shitlib behavior TBH.

Before the demise of 🐦, I convinced the GM @ my media job to let me tweet as a sentient forklift to increase brand engagement. Up 400% in 4 months just infiltrating trending tags. Hire me.

[leans on a chain link fence & takes a bite from a whole wheel of brie] whatever

Me, to Str8s: Which one of you is the lesbian with the motorcycle in the relationship?

If you don't think all white people look the same, you've never gotten separated from your family at a ski resort.

I thought I was having sexual dysfunction from my new medication, but it's actually from the time I passed a man wearing a Reagan-Bush '84 wifebeater in a grocery store.

Podcast Ad: Are you tired--?
Me: YES.

Always a letter late and a number short 😔 #cuck #jokes