On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me: three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. Ate them. Ooh la la.

Except: you're not at war, that requires congressional approval. Except: A war is between two sets of combatants, not firing on an unarmed boat. Except: you're an arsehole, and now you're either a war-criminal or a murderer