fig
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figwasp.bsky.social
fig
@figwasp.bsky.social
they/he
🪩💌🐝
weird in public
linkedin PLEASE stop sending me emails recommending i add a uncw frat dude i hooked up with in 2019 on ur stupid website i don’t need to be reminded of who i was back then!!!
March 29, 2024 at 12:24 AM
hi this is embarrassing and i know this is a small platform but we r in the shitter, hell is here on earth etc, please send around or donate if u can gofund.me/94680559
February 27, 2024 at 1:25 AM
honestly it’s soooo fun to not give into passive aggression and just pretend like you don’t notice it at all
February 20, 2024 at 1:47 PM
turns out all i had to do to manage problem behaviors in my classroom was bribe them with promises of bad pop music
February 15, 2024 at 8:17 PM
married privilege is getting a spotify duo plan. and health insurance
February 15, 2024 at 6:32 PM
Reposted by fig
Looking forward to all the scolding op-eds about how the left refuses to debate whether HIV causes AIDS
Just checking in on the Intellectual Dark W . . .

Oh.
February 15, 2024 at 3:06 PM
proof i’m cosmically cursed: today was the worst and now i’ve lost my voice when i’m supposed to help leading kaddish and aleinu at shabbat tomorrow. i’m gonna freak OUTTTTT
February 9, 2024 at 8:09 PM
no longer consumed by the big hot take machine in the sky, now grass and fresh air is my best friend
February 7, 2024 at 11:54 AM
Reposted by fig
Damn Netflix has no respect for history they turned the guy who fucked dudes gay
February 6, 2024 at 12:07 AM
after three full lease terms my landlord banned inside smoking. truly the end of an important era. would not have graduated without those inside cigarettes
February 3, 2024 at 12:53 AM
in a new era (appreciating the world around me, experiencing awe wonder joy etc, weeping for the great blue heron that i see every time i go on a walk)
February 2, 2024 at 5:01 PM
why do these parents send their sick freaking kids to school
February 1, 2024 at 5:31 PM
what if i just keep growing the mullet out to like waist length but keep the front short
January 31, 2024 at 1:49 AM
i love the placebo effect
January 28, 2024 at 5:24 PM
bringing my dbt cheat sheet to the function. all the homies hate how wise my mind is
January 23, 2024 at 1:14 PM
yes it’s true my one broad goal this year is to be normaler. the subgoals are just have fun and calm down
January 21, 2024 at 6:53 PM
doing a cry log in 2024 so i can make a really funny powerpoint this december
January 16, 2024 at 7:43 PM
it should be illegal to do anything but chill and hang out when it’s gross and rainy outside :-(
January 16, 2024 at 5:07 PM
sooo yucky to see someone who like four months ago freaked out and said a bunch of awful gross shit in response to me and one other person literally just saying we weren’t attracted men trying to pretend to be a butch on lex to get laid now. lol
January 16, 2024 at 1:08 AM
December 22, 2023 at 12:27 PM
my favorite thing about being alive is the constant sludge
December 20, 2023 at 7:31 PM
nvm it’s just a bad flu but i feel like i’m going cr*zy
you ever maybe have meningitis lol
December 17, 2023 at 3:00 PM
you ever maybe have meningitis lol
December 17, 2023 at 2:30 AM
me bumping up to this almost 2 million dollar home in our busted ass prius blasting free bird >
December 16, 2023 at 1:54 AM
would love more than 1 week without being sickkkksusudhdhb my job is literally hazardous
December 15, 2023 at 7:07 PM