a funny bit would be to name your pets after pharmaceutical names "come here, Optivo Qvantiq"

Wait so do you or or don't you have bananas?

Wikipedia, if you're listening: Can we please go back to the Plot section of movie entries not being a complete soup to nuts plot synopsis? Who wants a novelization of the fucking movie here?

Anyone else always thought the singer of the Zombies sounds like Lauren Bacall? No punchline, I've always thought this.

if the 20th century taught us anything, its that nobody can agree on what an elf is

In the Christmas trinity I think it's safe to say Santa is God the Father and Jack Frost is the Holy Spirit, but who is Christ? Some say Frosty, some Rudolph. If you said "Easter Bunny" then congratulations, you've passed the first test.

After drums/percussion and bass, the flute is the funkiest instrument.

Celebrities saying words. For example, John Cusack saying "telekinesis."

A member of Virginia Beach PD eavesdropped on my brother and I discussing our D&D campaign and now I'm not allowed to buy graph paper.

Sun Tsu listening to "Love is a Battlefield," baffled.

Galactus is impressed by the old switcheroo.