“Circulates your blood outside your body” is listed as a benefit when I’ve been trying for 45 years to keep mine inside.

It’s an awful lot, that’s for sure.

My dearest friend as a kid was VERY short, VERY loud, and also highly intelligent, and my mom and I privately referred to him as Owen Meany for years. It helped me picture Owen, for sure.

Cider House Rules I come back to again and again, but Owen Meany is so devastating that I’ve only read it a couple of times. I like Hotel New Hampshire, it’s probably his Irving-est book, he does all the things at 110%.

“Why do you hate poor people?”

UNT is getting serious as hell, ain’t they? When I lived in the shadow of the (old) stadium, they’d let you in for free and give you a hot dog and a beer if you stayed for the 3rd. Haven’t even been to the new one.

Love their shade of green. It’s Pantone 356C if anyone is curious.

Schwarber triggered.

Please kill me before I spend 41 minutes trying to flip a boat, not after.

Every new gadget marketed at parents is taking advantage of this. It’s like “here’s a box that prints stickers” or “these cards have stories on them and you stick them in this box.”

Oh wait, now I get why the Texan guardsmen fucked back off to their used car lots.

Tucker made his most butch face, so cute, so disarming, way to go babygurl.

Isn’t HOU the last team in the league to get this option?

Named for the guy who came up with it, Laurence Peter.

I use a polenta grind corn meal, some corn flour, salt, buttermilk, bacon grease, butter, baking powder and soda, and way too many eggs. I’ve been making it so long I just let the ancestors decide how much. Undermix it, let the batter sit for a good quarter hour and rest and bubble. 400 for 20 min.

I for one prefer guys who don’t bunt with two strikes.

While everyone was screaming, distorting, and thrashing, Enya sat in a stone castle whispering into a reverb cloud and sold 80 million records without touring, press, or bending to any industry expectation. You cannot brand, market, or replicate Enya. She exists outside capitalism. Punk as a skunk.

I’m sharpening the tools for opening day. Never too soon. We may not recognize most of them, and one of them may be named Trammel, but dammit, they’re coming back.