I present to you my favorite Star Trek fan vid I have been periodically returning to for *checks notes* 19 years *withers and dies*

youtu.be/luVjkTEIoJc?...

Oh, you thought this was the soccer thing? No, this is the Fingers In Fathomless Anus Peace Prize.

As a cancer patient chock full of toxins and with a depressed immune system, I could really use all of those benefits. I wonder if my oncology team is simply unaware of this miraculous machine? Which episode of Rogan’s podcast can I refer them to for more information?

…Come for the stolen nukes, stay for the spear guns. It's Thunderball.

…The scene at the beginning with every top SPECTRE guy reporting to Blofeld on his division's progress on their assigned criminal scheme is low key hilarious. A corporate boardroom meeting where the CEO might murder you to the utter disinterest of your coworkers...

…and supposedly there were some sketchy moments with those sharks.
It's a pretty straightforward spy thriller, with SPECTRE stealing a couple of nukes from NATO and threatening to blow up 2 cities if they don't get paid, and Bond using his dick as much as his gadgets to track them down…

…I don't feel like I have a ton to say on this one. It's a solid movie with a solid villain in Adolfo Celi's Largo, but not a lot of goofy weird Bond stuff or any totally outlandish stunt work. Though I bet filming a fight between 2 scuba diver armies was a huge undertaking…

…And second most famous for providing the name for Mr Bungle's second album, Disco Volante, named for Largo's yacht that transforms into a hydrofoil…

Next up on the Bondathon: Thunderball. A film famous for, I'm sure, various reasons to various people. But in my mind, most famous for providing the sample for Mood No 6 by My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult. Seriously, this music plays *constantly*...

youtu.be/DHkDodWGK0U?...

Yesterday, I thought “I wrote Dude, Where’s My Car” was the weirdest flex I’d ever seen, but it was quickly eclipsed by class solidarity with people who smoke in non smoking spaces.

…-A Karate school where the students routinely fight to the death seems... counterproductive at best.
But who cares? It's a Roger Moore Bond movie! All in all, this is one of the greats. So stupid, but so fun.

…being racist to the entire country.
-OSHA would have a field day at the villain's secret lair, which features huge, uncovered vats of liquid helium below platforms with no guardrails, and if someone falls into one of them, the whole complex explodes…

-They recover a golden bullet used to kill 002 and Q analyzes it. It is HUGE. At least a .45 caliber. Q declares it to be a custom made 4.5 millimeter bullet.
-The ridiculous return of the doofus Louisiana sheriff from the previous movie, who just happens to be vacationing in Thailand…

…The cat and mouse between him and Bond is fantastic. Herve Villechaize is delightfully weird.
A few points that are dumb, but fine in a goofy Moore Bond way.
-The aforementioned 5 shots from the single shot gun in your first introduction to the gun…

…he world's greatest assassin has a golden gun that holds 1 gold bullet because he only needs one (even though he fires it 5 times in the opening scene, shhh, don't think about it), and he charges a million dollars a shot. That's a great Bond villain…

…Asian people with names like Hai Fat and Chew Mee 🙄. A little person named Nick Nack 🙄🙄. But also, what a cast! Christopher Lee! Herve Villechaize! Soon-Tek Oh!…

Up next on the Bondathon: The Man With The Golden Gun. This is the melding of great film making with utter cornball shit that is peak Bond to me. Bond jumps a car over a twisted broken bridge that couldn't possibly end up in that shape naturally to the tune of a slide whistle…

That’s why it’s in quotes.