Dan Fritschie
@fritschiecomic.bsky.social
Comedian, writer, narrowly regarded as a condescending asshole.
Billy Joel has the opportunity to go on the funniest killing spree ever.
January 2, 2026 at 7:35 PM
Billy Joel has the opportunity to go on the funniest killing spree ever.
The name's Structure... Dan Structure.
December 23, 2025 at 4:53 PM
The name's Structure... Dan Structure.
One thing I've learned from watching True Crime content is, if your lawyer is wearing a suit like this, you're guilty as fuuuuuck.
December 19, 2025 at 8:22 PM
One thing I've learned from watching True Crime content is, if your lawyer is wearing a suit like this, you're guilty as fuuuuuck.
Dear person at my gym who has been eating what appears to be Flamin' Hot Cheetos on the walking track:
I dig your style. We should hang out.
Sincerely,
Me
I dig your style. We should hang out.
Sincerely,
Me
December 18, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Dear person at my gym who has been eating what appears to be Flamin' Hot Cheetos on the walking track:
I dig your style. We should hang out.
Sincerely,
Me
I dig your style. We should hang out.
Sincerely,
Me
I love that telling the guy to go fuck himself automatically unsubscribes you from his mailing list. This obviously ain't his first rodeo.
December 7, 2025 at 2:33 PM
I love that telling the guy to go fuck himself automatically unsubscribes you from his mailing list. This obviously ain't his first rodeo.
Pitching a real estate seminar while literally being in over your head was a bold choice there, Grant.
December 7, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Pitching a real estate seminar while literally being in over your head was a bold choice there, Grant.
This leaf on the floor at my parents' house does a great impersonation of dog poop. I've been pretending to not see this all morning so I wouldn't have to be the one to pick it up.
December 5, 2025 at 4:41 PM
This leaf on the floor at my parents' house does a great impersonation of dog poop. I've been pretending to not see this all morning so I wouldn't have to be the one to pick it up.
Well, duh... you're bound to convert a few. I mean, imagine how shitty of a filmmaker you'd have to be to make a Jesus movie and create MORE atheists.
December 2, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Well, duh... you're bound to convert a few. I mean, imagine how shitty of a filmmaker you'd have to be to make a Jesus movie and create MORE atheists.
Damn, girl! Lemme see dem...
November 29, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Damn, girl! Lemme see dem...
Man, you gotta have balls as big as church bells to put that slogan on a sign this close to the end of the Trail of Tears.
November 27, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Man, you gotta have balls as big as church bells to put that slogan on a sign this close to the end of the Trail of Tears.
Motherfuckers, you can't do an Is It Cake? of a giant fake gingerbread man! What kind of Ship of Theseus bullshit is this supposed to be?
November 25, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Motherfuckers, you can't do an Is It Cake? of a giant fake gingerbread man! What kind of Ship of Theseus bullshit is this supposed to be?
Requiem for a Dream (2000)
dir. Darren Aronofsky
dir. Darren Aronofsky
November 25, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Requiem for a Dream (2000)
dir. Darren Aronofsky
dir. Darren Aronofsky
Dude went to court dressed as a police sketch of the word GUILTY.
November 15, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Dude went to court dressed as a police sketch of the word GUILTY.
Stoner with a stutter.
November 13, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Stoner with a stutter.
Note the SENIOR... That means at one time, there were TWO Royal Huddleston Burpees on this planet.
November 11, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Note the SENIOR... That means at one time, there were TWO Royal Huddleston Burpees on this planet.
Marriage after 10 years.
November 9, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Marriage after 10 years.
No, because I'm not a barely functional alcoholic weirdo.
November 8, 2025 at 2:42 AM
No, because I'm not a barely functional alcoholic weirdo.
The bracket style brake lights and logo placement on GMCs look like they're citing themselves as a source.
October 30, 2025 at 12:18 PM
The bracket style brake lights and logo placement on GMCs look like they're citing themselves as a source.
Ken Paxton's right eye always looks like it just listened to what the rest of his face just said.
October 28, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Ken Paxton's right eye always looks like it just listened to what the rest of his face just said.
Well, I did stop to take a picture, so... well played.
October 19, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Well, I did stop to take a picture, so... well played.
Ok... which got built first: the shelf or the light fixture?
October 19, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Ok... which got built first: the shelf or the light fixture?