I'm gonna make something tasty later. I'll also throw in an egg, maybe two. Want some? Come on over!

Why is Mahomes's helmet so tall? He got a sandwich for later in there or something?

I finally deleted my Facebook account after 16 years. (I downloaded all the photos first.)

Aaah.

I prefer audio books to traditional books. I read just fine, but I hate the way a physical book monopolizes my hands and eyes.

Well, fuck. Fuck a duck. Right in its motherfuckin' butt.

Merry Christmas, you filthy animals. 😊🎄

(Not you, Vladimir Putin. 🖕)

I'm exhausted. Maybe you are, too. It's okay. Get up one... more... fucking... time.

I remember the first time I saw an HDTV.

That's it. That's the whole story.

This is Aerosmith's best album. Fight me.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Get_a_G...

Would you like to round up for xxxxx?

Nope. Would you like to round down to make things cheaper for me?

It's a good thing the pharmacy's vibe mail tells me to call 911 in case of an emergency every time I call to refill a prescription. Otherwise, I wouldn't know what to do or who to call in an emergency.

I went out to run some errands, and almost bought lime juice for my Corona. It turns out we had a little bit at home already. 😄

Vengeance Rising's best song is called "Mulligan Stew" It contains the words

"Friday night is coming, so you're saving all your money, 'cause you need to buy some bud and some beer."

As a kid, I had no idea what marijuana was, and wondered for years why the song mentioned beer twice. 😄

I'm traveling in western Montana to see relatives for Thanksgiving. I saw a bighorn sheep! That was neat.

*taps mic obnoxiously*

Is this thing on?