Gareth Penn
@garethspenn.bsky.social
"Those who cannot remember George Santayana are condemned to misquote him."
I asked a tour guide at San Simeon if the madonna above the main entrance of La Casa Grande was the one Dorothy Parker had written about, and he said, "Who's Dorothy Parker?"
I asked a tour guide at San Simeon if the madonna above the main entrance of La Casa Grande was the one Dorothy Parker had written about, and he said, "Who's Dorothy Parker?"
That 1.4% increase is for the period beginning in January and ending in September (eight months). The increase in grocery prices for the *year* ending in September is 2.7%. Hassett thinks he can reduce inflation simply by cherry-picking a time span shorter than a year. This is flim-flam.
November 30, 2025 at 5:38 PM
That 1.4% increase is for the period beginning in January and ending in September (eight months). The increase in grocery prices for the *year* ending in September is 2.7%. Hassett thinks he can reduce inflation simply by cherry-picking a time span shorter than a year. This is flim-flam.
The last country Congress declared war on was Japan (8 December 1941). Since then, the U.S. has fought any number of wars, great and small, all undeclared.
November 30, 2025 at 3:52 PM
The last country Congress declared war on was Japan (8 December 1941). Since then, the U.S. has fought any number of wars, great and small, all undeclared.
The people of the United States would benefit greatly if every one of them were to send me one dollar. That's not too much to ask for universal prosperity, and if you throw in another 50¢, I might be able to increase your life expectancy as well.
If it works for Netanyahu, it ought to work for me.
If it works for Netanyahu, it ought to work for me.
November 30, 2025 at 3:41 PM
The people of the United States would benefit greatly if every one of them were to send me one dollar. That's not too much to ask for universal prosperity, and if you throw in another 50¢, I might be able to increase your life expectancy as well.
If it works for Netanyahu, it ought to work for me.
If it works for Netanyahu, it ought to work for me.
The euphemism for putting Japanese-Americans in concentration camps was "relocation;" for industrial murder in 1942-1945, "deportation."
November 30, 2025 at 3:35 PM
The euphemism for putting Japanese-Americans in concentration camps was "relocation;" for industrial murder in 1942-1945, "deportation."
One thing that dictators with narcissistic personal disorder seem to have in common is the belief that they are gifted architects whose judgment overrides the judgment of professionals (examples: Adolf Hitler, William Randolph Hearst).
November 30, 2025 at 3:32 PM
One thing that dictators with narcissistic personal disorder seem to have in common is the belief that they are gifted architects whose judgment overrides the judgment of professionals (examples: Adolf Hitler, William Randolph Hearst).
There goes that Nobel Peace Prize. Maybe Trump can get another Michigan Man of the Year award to put on the other end of his mantelpiece.
November 30, 2025 at 3:29 PM
There goes that Nobel Peace Prize. Maybe Trump can get another Michigan Man of the Year award to put on the other end of his mantelpiece.
Architect, shmarchitect. The Sultan of Eyesore will have his way.
November 30, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Architect, shmarchitect. The Sultan of Eyesore will have his way.
Some criminals act on impulse, others after careful calculation. I didn't go to law school, but I believe that "I always calculate" is much of a defense.
November 30, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Some criminals act on impulse, others after careful calculation. I didn't go to law school, but I believe that "I always calculate" is much of a defense.
MAGA has a comic book mentality. Everything is so simple, every problem dealt with in a single panel.
November 30, 2025 at 3:20 PM
MAGA has a comic book mentality. Everything is so simple, every problem dealt with in a single panel.
All we have to do is live with higher grocery prices between now and next Thanksgiving. Thanks for the tip, Kevin!
November 30, 2025 at 3:16 PM
All we have to do is live with higher grocery prices between now and next Thanksgiving. Thanks for the tip, Kevin!
Wow. In addition to Cowgirl Barbie, DHS Barbie, Coast Guard Barbie, Firefighter Barbie, and Dog Killer Barbie, there's an Inspector Javert Barbie. I can't wait to add her to my collection!
November 30, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Wow. In addition to Cowgirl Barbie, DHS Barbie, Coast Guard Barbie, Firefighter Barbie, and Dog Killer Barbie, there's an Inspector Javert Barbie. I can't wait to add her to my collection!
Not all that long ago, wealthy Englishmen became army officers by purchasing a commission. You might as well purchase pardons and other government favors. The only question is whether there should be a schedule with set prices or whether government favors should be sold at auction.
November 30, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Not all that long ago, wealthy Englishmen became army officers by purchasing a commission. You might as well purchase pardons and other government favors. The only question is whether there should be a schedule with set prices or whether government favors should be sold at auction.
The book that sanctions "asterick," "nucular," "restauranteur," "henious," and even "pronounciation." Nero Wolfe tears the pages out of the 1961 edition and feeds them into the fireplace because it says "metonymy" and "synecdoche" are synonyms. That seems mild by comparison.
November 30, 2025 at 2:34 AM
The book that sanctions "asterick," "nucular," "restauranteur," "henious," and even "pronounciation." Nero Wolfe tears the pages out of the 1961 edition and feeds them into the fireplace because it says "metonymy" and "synecdoche" are synonyms. That seems mild by comparison.
Stephen Miller is not normal.
November 30, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Stephen Miller is not normal.
It means that on Guy Fawkes Day on the farm in Kansas where my grandfather William S. Smith was a boy, he went out and shot a goose, they brought the cattle in to the barn for the winter, and the family sow threw a litter of only two piglets. No "nursery rhyme addtions." Thanks for playing.
November 30, 2025 at 12:25 AM
It means that on Guy Fawkes Day on the farm in Kansas where my grandfather William S. Smith was a boy, he went out and shot a goose, they brought the cattle in to the barn for the winter, and the family sow threw a litter of only two piglets. No "nursery rhyme addtions." Thanks for playing.
There is no evidence to support the claim that Nancy's threat to "walk all over you" with her boots has incited violence.
November 29, 2025 at 4:19 PM
There is no evidence to support the claim that Nancy's threat to "walk all over you" with her boots has incited violence.
Here's another metaphor: RMS Titanic was sunk by its own ballroom. To accommodate a grandiose high ceiling in the ballroom, a watertight bulkhead had to be lowered, allowing water to flow from one flooded compartment into the next. Had that not happened, the ship would have stayed afloat.
November 29, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Here's another metaphor: RMS Titanic was sunk by its own ballroom. To accommodate a grandiose high ceiling in the ballroom, a watertight bulkhead had to be lowered, allowing water to flow from one flooded compartment into the next. Had that not happened, the ship would have stayed afloat.
The NOAA ship I used to work on sighted a cabin cruiser in Costa Rican waters. As the NOAA ship drew near, two men skedaddled in a small auxiliary boat. NOAA crewmen boarded the boat and found a half ton of cocaine. The smugglers thought NOAA was the Coast Guard. Not a shot fired, nobody killed.
November 29, 2025 at 3:45 PM
The NOAA ship I used to work on sighted a cabin cruiser in Costa Rican waters. As the NOAA ship drew near, two men skedaddled in a small auxiliary boat. NOAA crewmen boarded the boat and found a half ton of cocaine. The smugglers thought NOAA was the Coast Guard. Not a shot fired, nobody killed.
Squanto was not available for comment.
November 29, 2025 at 3:09 PM
Squanto was not available for comment.
Here's a golden oldie from 1915, "Don't bite the hand that's feeding you":
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyNM...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyNM...
Don't Bite the Hand That's Feeding You (Pro WW1 Song) (Recorded 1915)
YouTube video by Henry Burr - Topic
www.youtube.com
November 29, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Here's a golden oldie from 1915, "Don't bite the hand that's feeding you":
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyNM...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyNM...
In The Dish (2000), the US ambassador visits a small Australian town; a local garage band is tasked with playing the American national anthem. They play the theme music for Hawaii Five-O, and the mayor apologizes for the confusion. The ambassador says many Americans wish it were the national anthem.
November 28, 2025 at 11:01 PM
In The Dish (2000), the US ambassador visits a small Australian town; a local garage band is tasked with playing the American national anthem. They play the theme music for Hawaii Five-O, and the mayor apologizes for the confusion. The ambassador says many Americans wish it were the national anthem.
Mike "Moses" Johnson's charismatic personality will save the day.
November 28, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Mike "Moses" Johnson's charismatic personality will save the day.
You say "props," I say *hostages*.
November 28, 2025 at 5:35 PM
You say "props," I say *hostages*.
The other four come to a total of 40%. Trump beats all of them together.
November 28, 2025 at 4:32 PM
The other four come to a total of 40%. Trump beats all of them together.