I know you miss ol’ granny, but she’ll be there where you least expect it! In those still, quiet moments alone, or when shaking out your winter boots and realizing I was dropped when you cleaned out your purse last.

This is propaganda.

This is a hate crime.

Sometimes I miss my old friends, the TasteTations. They were ahead of their time and under appreciated.

I’m almost two centuries old but even I know not to say shit when there’s an unknown number in the group chat.

I chug my coffee. I feel less wack.
I read my emails. I send emails back.

I hop on bluesky. I make some pitches.
I get no likes. I get no bitches.

Remember everyone*, Grandma Candy loves you!

*Not MAGA scum

Due to the unseasonably warm weather, I’m being moved to the spring purse sooner than expected.

Honestly, thank goodness. There was a lot of cat hair built up in the winter bag.

I don’t know what I expected from the cover, but it sounded harmless enough.

WE 👏 AREN’T 👏 THE 👏 SAME 👏

There’s a Bic pen in here that’s from the 80’s. It doesn’t work anymore, but still ends up back in the bottom with me and the lint.

It’s dark in here.