Might as well just say the tariffs brought in a quadrillion dollars. He’s sending billion dollar checks to every American. Trump achieved world peace and ended world hunger. Y’all never follow up on any of this shit, just say we’re all happy and rich, North Korea-style.

The failed comedian-to-Republican politician pipeline is real as hell, and perhaps why all of their policy seems singularly focused on celebrating and elevating thoroughly untalented men.

Ahaha, I know, but it’s still ridiculous; “Hey chef, the order hasn’t shown up yet, did it get put in yesterday?” “Yeah I don’t really know.”

Can someone tell Mike Johnson that knowing about this stuff is literally part of his job, so it being a cop out excuse still just makes him look completely incompetent

I’m not gonna lie, I am getting a little tired from all the winning.

“Trump wouldn’t do ~(insert any of Trump’s policies and actions)~ because that would be obviously bad and wrong” is the stance seemingly 40% of Americans seem comfortable taking, and is perhaps the posturing that’s accelerating our slide into authoritarianism.

Some days I feel a little self-conscious about my receding hairline and increasingly haggard face, but then I remember that Karoline Leavitt was born in ‘97.

Every American I know who insists that we’re an English-speaking country and that Spanish-speaking immigrants are eroding that does not know how to properly use apostrophes.