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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo
@greenevillezoo.bsky.social
11K followers 34 following 800 posts
Not affiliated with the Greeneville Pet Cemetery
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · Apr 13
go.bsky.app/HmSpfY9
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 3h
You may experience intermittent squawking in your head as you enjoy the bird exhibit but don’t be alarmed. It’s just Tevin, our telepathic toucan.
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 1d
A monster of vaguely anthropoid outline with tentacled head, scaly body, rudimentary wings and prodigious claws, a form which only a diseased fancy could conceive. This October, only at Greeneville Zoo!
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 1d
The White House finally released the Harambe Files. As he lay dying, his caretaker says he signed the following.

"Death is but the next great adventure, but I don't know what I fear more, to descend to a hell of swans or ascend to a heaven of meerkats."
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 2d
We are not affiliated with Greenpeace. Whoever put their logo on our website, please take it off.
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 3d
Exactly
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 3d
Contrary to myth, it's not bacteria that makes Komodo Dragons' mouths so dangerous. It's their biting sarcasm.
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 3d
We already have a goat that can't hit 3's
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 4d
For Halloween, we're celebrating our masked animals: raccoons, red pandas, and that one gibbon who won’t take off the rubber Nixon mask, no matter how often we ask.
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 4d
Well duh
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 4d
We also hate to spread gossip, but we heard that all of Redville's ticket sales fund a laundromat that burned down 5 years ago.
redvillezoo.bsky.social
Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · 4d
We hate to spread gossip, but we heard that Greeneville's Giant Andean Condor Is just a fat crow.
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 5d
Stop by the gift shop to check out our cool new merch. We are saving up to buy a rhinoceros.
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 5d
Goodbye Zak
greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 5d
Dave's busy downing a bowl of soup
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 5d
We were needlessly worried all day about one of our red pandas not eating. We had no idea Dave is Jewish.
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 6d
This Halloween, the vampire bats would like to remind you that their culture is not your costume.
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 6d
The chimpanzees are wearing black armbands to commemorate the passing of Jane Goodall. The anteaters are wearing bedazzled jeans because they have terrible fashion sense.
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 7d
Did You Know? Within hours of birth, baby weasels can locomote, kill prey and commit identity theft.
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 7d
FYI, The Sea Cucumber breathes through its anus and deals with a lot of stress considering it pretty much just lies on the sea floor and eats sediment. Stress responses include vomiting through its butt (pictured) and spewing and then regenerating internal organs.
A Sea Cucumber vomiting through its anus
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 7d
TBD
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 7d
Speaking of a room full of people politely staring but not responding, we're canceled our Monday night lecture series on "The Life Cycle Of The Sea Cucumber-Nature's Headless Hot Dog"
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 8d
Outstanding
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 8d
Outstanding suggestions are pouring in
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 8d
Pls help us name our new gift shop birding book. The ornithologists are stuck on “Toucan Play This Game” and our publisher's already rejected “Flock You, Seagulls"
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 8d
❤️🦘
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greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 8d
❤️🦘
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