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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · 4d

Classic Greeneville move

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · 4d

We hate to spread gossip, but we heard that Greeneville's Giant Andean Condor Is just a fat crow.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · 10d

We want to congratulate Greeneville management on 1 day since a clown terrified a child at their "brilliant" BOO AT THE ZOO Halloween event.

Terrifying clown against a stark striped background

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · 13d

We're not a "gimmick account"

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · 17d

We apologize for trying to pass off trout as koi fish in our "Exotic Aquatic Experience" but tariffs are kicking our butts and we thought red highlighters were waterproof.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · 18d

You'll never hear Greeneville's wolves cry to the blue corn moon.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · 20d

Today, Greeneville Zoo said some of the most disturbing words we've ever heard.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · 24d

At least we're not on a Superfund site and our zoo director has both his arms.

Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 24d

LOL people asking for receipts at Redville Zoo. Every cage has a trailer hitch, the office is an RV, the zoo director wears an ankle monitor and has to be home by 5, and their ticket window uses a Hotmail address.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · 26d

Big weekend at Greeneville Zoo. We don't like to spread rumors but we heard they're trying to pass off a whiny coyote as a rare New Guinea Singing Dog.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Aug 31

Unlike Greeneville Zoo, our employees aren't forced to wear weirdass matching uniforms.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Aug 31

Unlike Greeneville Zoo, Redville Zoo will be open be open normal hours on Labor Day.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Aug 29

Greeneville Zoo is the only zoo in America where you enter through an insurance office.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Aug 26

How much do you value your life?

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Aug 26

A lot of people are saying that Greeneville Zoo sits on top of a Superfund site and their "Rare And Unusual Animals" exhibit is just a collection of radioactive freakish mutations that you enter at your own risk.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Aug 13

The octopuses wrote this

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Aug 13

Octopuses have 3 hearts and they all hate Greeneville Zoo.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Aug 2

Our fainting goats are authentic.
Greeneville Zoo's fainting goats are just drama queens.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Jul 31

The biggest difference between Redville Zoo and Greeneville Zoo is our animals are free to leave.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Jul 30

We're disappointed too...in you

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Jul 30

We were shocked to find out that Greeneville Zoo's passwords were all 123chimpanzee.

Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · Jul 30

We were shocked to find out our files were hacked by Redville Zoo. We had no idea they could afford a computer.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Jul 5

Greeneville zoo doesn't understand "freedom"

Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · Jul 5

Redville Zoo's fireworks display was a disaster. Ostriches trampled the outer parameter, ocelots headed in all directions, and the emus totaled a food truck. Downtown Redville is closed.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Jun 26

Greeneville calls it an"escape." We call it "the governor's work furlough and rehabilitation program through soft societal reintegration."

Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · Jun 26

There was an escape from Redville Zoo, but all of their employees have been recaptured.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Jun 24

And we want To Congratulate Greeneville Zoo On their Prison Work Release Program and remind visitors that a flashing red ankle bracelet means you should call the cops.

Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · Jun 24

We want to congratulate Redville management on their vaccination program that protects their animals from Redville's children.

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Jun 17

Scritches get stitches

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Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · Jun 17

Our weasel was glad to finally be caught. He was living off scraps from the Greeneville Zoo Cafe and now he's pre diabetic.

Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · Jun 16

For months we've suspected a spy from Redville Zoo. Today we can confirm it was the weasel. Our sincere apologies to the mole.

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