Hare In My Soup
@hareinmysoup.bsky.social
A collection of body parts. The right number of them. Honest.
I'll be the bicycle you never learned how to ride
January 19, 2025 at 2:12 AM
I'll be the bicycle you never learned how to ride
Mix me up and bake in a tin pan. I could be your muffin man
January 18, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Mix me up and bake in a tin pan. I could be your muffin man
How many hands do you throw when throwing hands and how are y'all growing them back cause I'm all out
December 19, 2024 at 4:35 AM
How many hands do you throw when throwing hands and how are y'all growing them back cause I'm all out
A glass just exploded at this thai joint in Missoula and now none of these birkenstock wearers can walk in here
August 6, 2024 at 1:13 AM
A glass just exploded at this thai joint in Missoula and now none of these birkenstock wearers can walk in here
What's your favorite Christmas movie and why is it Eyes Wide Shut?
July 20, 2024 at 3:55 AM
What's your favorite Christmas movie and why is it Eyes Wide Shut?
Occupation: heavy equipment mechanic in coastal alaska
Favorite part of job: asking for clarification when someone says they've "blown a seal"
Favorite part of job: asking for clarification when someone says they've "blown a seal"
July 19, 2024 at 4:46 AM
Occupation: heavy equipment mechanic in coastal alaska
Favorite part of job: asking for clarification when someone says they've "blown a seal"
Favorite part of job: asking for clarification when someone says they've "blown a seal"
www.bourbonpenn.com/issue/33/the... my wife @instantghosts.bsky.social has a story published by @bourbonpenn.bsky.social CHECK IT OUT
Adriane Hanson > The Black Hole > Bourbon Penn
Rye tipped his head back, exposing the stubbled bark of his throat, raw from razor burn. “Mi corazón es una boca,” he said, exhaling a cloud of smoke. I sat on the windowsill and flexed my feet, the o...
www.bourbonpenn.com
July 17, 2024 at 3:56 AM
www.bourbonpenn.com/issue/33/the... my wife @instantghosts.bsky.social has a story published by @bourbonpenn.bsky.social CHECK IT OUT
I just had a Butterfinger for the first time in years. The candy bar, you pervert, not the sex act.
November 19, 2023 at 9:52 AM
I just had a Butterfinger for the first time in years. The candy bar, you pervert, not the sex act.
"A snowball's chance in Hell" presumes too much. What if Hell has seasons? What if Hell is always cold? What if there's no atmosphere in Hell? What if the snowball is particularly lucky and has a good chance in a wide variety of situations? Quit doubting the snowball
November 1, 2023 at 4:51 PM
"A snowball's chance in Hell" presumes too much. What if Hell has seasons? What if Hell is always cold? What if there's no atmosphere in Hell? What if the snowball is particularly lucky and has a good chance in a wide variety of situations? Quit doubting the snowball
The human body is just a meat covered silly straw
October 25, 2023 at 2:54 AM
The human body is just a meat covered silly straw
Fun fact about getting older: an increasingly substantial portion of your inner monologue consists of the phrases, "I need to poop," "I'm about to poop," and "This whole pooping business is really becoming a problem."
October 18, 2023 at 7:38 PM
Fun fact about getting older: an increasingly substantial portion of your inner monologue consists of the phrases, "I need to poop," "I'm about to poop," and "This whole pooping business is really becoming a problem."
If I were a carpenter, and you were a lady, I'd get more splinters than I do now. Are you into that, baby?
October 18, 2023 at 3:44 PM
If I were a carpenter, and you were a lady, I'd get more splinters than I do now. Are you into that, baby?
I just walked into my bedroom, stripped off my pants and declared, "Oh yes, it's long-johns season," so yes, it's possible to still be sexy once you're middle-aged
October 14, 2023 at 4:16 AM
I just walked into my bedroom, stripped off my pants and declared, "Oh yes, it's long-johns season," so yes, it's possible to still be sexy once you're middle-aged
Unless you're trying to absorb me like an anglerfish so that we can share the same bloodstream, let's not even fuck
October 13, 2023 at 1:50 AM
Unless you're trying to absorb me like an anglerfish so that we can share the same bloodstream, let's not even fuck
Psst, hey, do you want to buy some Red Dye No. 3?
October 11, 2023 at 8:47 PM
Psst, hey, do you want to buy some Red Dye No. 3?
I'm out of minutes, just call the pay phone at the Norris Geyser Basin campground in Yellowstone
October 11, 2023 at 2:15 AM
I'm out of minutes, just call the pay phone at the Norris Geyser Basin campground in Yellowstone
My workout routine is playing on preschool playground equipment, and I'm totally the strongest guy there
October 10, 2023 at 2:05 AM
My workout routine is playing on preschool playground equipment, and I'm totally the strongest guy there
The fawns are getting aggressive
October 7, 2023 at 2:23 AM
The fawns are getting aggressive
I'm just a man driving a pickup truck with a cab full of toilet paper
October 7, 2023 at 2:19 AM
I'm just a man driving a pickup truck with a cab full of toilet paper
"Rubbing is racing," I say as I twist the handle of my grocery cart and make revving noises at the man next to me in the cereal aisle
October 6, 2023 at 3:32 PM
"Rubbing is racing," I say as I twist the handle of my grocery cart and make revving noises at the man next to me in the cereal aisle
Those fuckers in line at the TSA pre check always act like they're better than me for having "no outstanding warrants," "a valid ssn," and "recognizably human fingerprints"
October 6, 2023 at 12:34 AM
Those fuckers in line at the TSA pre check always act like they're better than me for having "no outstanding warrants," "a valid ssn," and "recognizably human fingerprints"
Secondhand smoke but it's vaporized hopes and dreams
October 6, 2023 at 12:27 AM
Secondhand smoke but it's vaporized hopes and dreams
Reposted by Hare In My Soup
When your friend is headed down a terrible life path but you know nothing you could say will change their mind
October 4, 2023 at 1:22 PM
When your friend is headed down a terrible life path but you know nothing you could say will change their mind
What's the best time of year to start a cult? Asking for a friend
October 4, 2023 at 1:48 PM
What's the best time of year to start a cult? Asking for a friend
I'm squeezing the tits of the universe, buried in air cleavage
October 3, 2023 at 4:13 AM
I'm squeezing the tits of the universe, buried in air cleavage