Hatey McLife
@hateymclife.bsky.social
Hatey McLife was shat out of hell.
Has the ever been a Home Alone rules wrestling match?
December 25, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Has the ever been a Home Alone rules wrestling match?
Reposted by Hatey McLife
Some of you have forgotten that only three years ago you were perfectly capable of writing a text, writing an email, telling a bedtime story to a child, and it should worry you that powerful companies have convinced us we can’t do things we’ve been doing since the dawn of time.
December 23, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Some of you have forgotten that only three years ago you were perfectly capable of writing a text, writing an email, telling a bedtime story to a child, and it should worry you that powerful companies have convinced us we can’t do things we’ve been doing since the dawn of time.
Aggies played like the winner had to treat trans people with respect.
December 20, 2025 at 8:35 PM
Aggies played like the winner had to treat trans people with respect.
"My great grandparents were killed at Dachau but they'd be dead by now anyway so I give Hitler a pass."
December 19, 2025 at 6:48 PM
"My great grandparents were killed at Dachau but they'd be dead by now anyway so I give Hitler a pass."
Nazi Grinder II: The Slurrification
December 19, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Nazi Grinder II: The Slurrification
Don't get him started on what they charge for undercoating and the extended warranty.
Dr Oz: "The creation of a penis costs on average in America $150,000 per child ... if you add testicles, that's extra"
December 18, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Don't get him started on what they charge for undercoating and the extended warranty.
Now we know why he was a 5th round pick.
On a livestream yesterday, Puka both:
- Said that the Refs throw flags that they know are bad to brag to their friends in group chats, and
- Told Adin Ross that he'd do a "covetous jew" celebration on his next TD score
Suspend him tbh
- Said that the Refs throw flags that they know are bad to brag to their friends in group chats, and
- Told Adin Ross that he'd do a "covetous jew" celebration on his next TD score
Suspend him tbh
December 17, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Now we know why he was a 5th round pick.
Ketamine sweat can't melt steel beams!
Time Magazine puts the "architects of AI" on its Person of the Year cover time.com/7339685/pers...
December 11, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Ketamine sweat can't melt steel beams!
Congratulations to new Michigan head coach Joe Mazzulla!
STATEMENT from Michigan:
"Following a University investigation, credible evidence was found that Coach Moore engaged in an inappropriate relationship with a staff member."
"Following a University investigation, credible evidence was found that Coach Moore engaged in an inappropriate relationship with a staff member."
December 10, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Congratulations to new Michigan head coach Joe Mazzulla!
The President is trying to hide the fact he's turning into a Stone Man.
December 10, 2025 at 4:16 PM
The President is trying to hide the fact he's turning into a Stone Man.
"Hi, I'm Sam Altman and I was raised by humans. Would you risk your child being raised by humans on the off chance they turn about to be a hollow, warped, freak like me? ChatGPT is just the solution you've been looking for!"
Jimmy Fallon: "And do you use ChatGPT when raising your baby?"
Sam Altman: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."
Sam Altman: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."
December 9, 2025 at 4:46 PM
"Hi, I'm Sam Altman and I was raised by humans. Would you risk your child being raised by humans on the off chance they turn about to be a hollow, warped, freak like me? ChatGPT is just the solution you've been looking for!"
If you ask AI to plan a date you need to be sterilized
November 28, 2025 at 11:37 PM
If you ask AI to plan a date you need to be sterilized
Reposted by Hatey McLife
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
membership.theonion.com
November 28, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
If they find 1 millisecond impressive they'll be floored when they hear about Rick Pitino.
Engineers at Princeton University achieved a world-record milestone: a superconducting qubit with coherence time exceeding 1 millisecond, about three times longer than previous lab records and ~15× typical industry performance.
#Quantum #QuantumComputing #technology #Science
#Quantum #QuantumComputing #technology #Science
United States sets world record and pulls off a quantum computing feat with one‑millisecond qubit coherence
This week, a quiet materials tweak in a US lab signaled a different kind of leap. Engineers at Princeton University report a qubit that stays stable long
www.reteuro.co.uk
November 23, 2025 at 5:46 PM
If they find 1 millisecond impressive they'll be floored when they hear about Rick Pitino.
Trump loves hanging with a star and shitting on Elise Stefanik.
November 21, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Trump loves hanging with a star and shitting on Elise Stefanik.
What a shocking plot twist! The voice of reason from the compliance training is the predator in the sexual harassment training.
November 20, 2025 at 8:00 PM
What a shocking plot twist! The voice of reason from the compliance training is the predator in the sexual harassment training.
Olivia Nuzzi is just Ann Coulter after taking The Substance.
November 18, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Olivia Nuzzi is just Ann Coulter after taking The Substance.
Vampires have nothing to worry about around this fucking guy.
True comedy is watching Dave Portnay trying to use a hammer
November 14, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Vampires have nothing to worry about around this fucking guy.
Jail 'em all!
(Except Gill, he seems chill)
(Except Gill, he seems chill)
NEW: We’ve uncovered the first known example of taxpayer money flowing from DHS to businesses controlled by Kristi Noem’s allies and friends.
It’s part of a money trail that’s been shrouded in secrecy—and involves $220 million, a mysterious Delaware LLC & a horse named Gill.
It’s part of a money trail that’s been shrouded in secrecy—and involves $220 million, a mysterious Delaware LLC & a horse named Gill.
November 14, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Jail 'em all!
(Except Gill, he seems chill)
(Except Gill, he seems chill)
Taking jobs from Americans is the most American thing possible.
Bovino: "Whether they were criminals or individuals that were taking jobs from Americans -- you name it, that's what they were doing. And I'll tell you what's gonna happen. We're gonna go even harder on the streets. If he releases those 650, we're gonna apprehend 1,650 on the streets of Chicago."
November 13, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Taking jobs from Americans is the most American thing possible.
Based on their writing in the Epstein emails no wonder why rich assholes think AI being to compose a basic essay is miraculous.
November 12, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Based on their writing in the Epstein emails no wonder why rich assholes think AI being to compose a basic essay is miraculous.
Not the painkiller I thought he'd have a grudge with.
JD Vance calls ibuprofen "useless medication" and implies it's not "necessary, safe and effective."
November 12, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Not the painkiller I thought he'd have a grudge with.
The bully said if I give him my lunch money he promises to split the dessert with me.
November 10, 2025 at 6:19 PM
The bully said if I give him my lunch money he promises to split the dessert with me.
This year's Thanksgiving meal at WalMart has Great Value green beans with 25% more microplastics absolutely free.
November 6, 2025 at 9:25 PM
This year's Thanksgiving meal at WalMart has Great Value green beans with 25% more microplastics absolutely free.
All the Cuomo brothers are Fredo.
November 5, 2025 at 4:17 PM
All the Cuomo brothers are Fredo.